I Really do

I really do hope,

that day we wake up every other day,

seeing each other by the side.

The commitment we can give for the rest of our life.

Its very scary,

When you met someone,

who share the same thought as you do.

Holding on to him gives you the feeling of being with him for the rest of your life.

Never in my life.

I am so looking forward.

Being 2 individuals,

but shares the same thoughts and ideals.

When this strikes,

There is no way to escape.

Things that both of us is willing to scarifies

to build on a path for 2.

Indeed,

I find him a miracle

Never in my life i thought i can find someone,

so alike myself

Thank god

I've found you.

Ladies night

Last night was a freak night of love and both of us got wasted somehow. KTV last night was crazy but enjoyable. My day starts at 4pm today and was woken by his call. He sounded so bloody tired from the call and he was running some errand for his workers. If this goes on, i think within couple of months we will be dead beat. I feel real bad as his fatigue is partly because of me. Well but he said, love do make people do wonders and it is reciprocal in our case. Thank you my AA.

After my appointment with WP, i headed home and prepare documents for the next appointment later at night. Daddy Kong called in, he called for a girls night. We headed Fareast plaza, its a lesbian pub. The night consist of mel, ms fletcher, auntie molly, daddy kong and myself. Its was great company. I got to know more about mel and the stuffs she is going through these while. Well girl, you have got the right man and i m happy for you. Daddy kong wasnt usual tonight, and he entrusted me of fulfilling the "thing" he did not achieve years back. He was like " Seven, u are not a good driver in this camery, get yourself a merc SLK." He spoke to me about my current relationship and wants me to go all out for it. Things in life shouldnt be based on money. It is the love which keep one rich. I can list down at least 100 over things money cant buy. Money is only gives you more options in life. Be rich in life money cant buy.

To AA: Hope you have a good night rest. Thinking of you all the time and i know you are as well. Through the weeks, i've learn alot from you and i really appreciate your sharings. I love your drive in work, ur analytical skills and the wowability you have. Do you know, ur character is an exact replica of mine, that might be why "you are so me, and i m so you." Being with you and hugging you is so comfortable, simply you are a total male version of me.

The Message

I like the message you sent

So sour,

The taste of sour apple martini

So adorable

So cute

" Why still wxxx xxx, haiz"

Flip side of the coin ll

The shadows of him always cast onto mine.

I see a different side him last night and i was much taken back.

I was impressed by the things he said without mercy.

I numbed for awhile and realised how much he cared.

At the end of the day he wants be to be the person he sees me in and the things i m capable to accomplish.

I took another perspective.

If the roles were switched, i suppose i will say the same thing to him as well.

I looked at him so differently now.

The other side of him, the depth in him.

P/S: Its so unbearable not hearing from you.

Sunday, Monday, TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I regain who i am, what i am, the lady who looks vulnerable yet has the strong point in her.

Her pride, ego, drive and integrity

.She got them all back today.

She just stand being wishy-washy and being an escapee, she will do what she needs to.

Face what she has to.

The bottomline she did it for herself and NOT anyone else.

SHE is back, stronger, more determine and focus to be herself than ever.

The flip side of the coin

Ample times, i turned and look at the building he was at and smile.

Chilling out at the Scarlet hotel

Holding his hands as we walked,

Retro past-time, with his ultra cute retro hairstyle ~~

Reminiscing

I really cant help but to smile, Bishi Bashi,

Nothing means everything

I am feeling much better today. The running nose had stopped. I had a meeting with Daddy Kong today at his cafe and he is aware of whats happening around. Lol, he must be papa Kong, papa kong knows it all. Haha... It starts to rain when not long after i reached. Well well, its a fulfilling day though i didnt managed to hook up with Elaine. [" Lainie, Jia You next time confirm can pass one !!!] Learn valuable lessons with papa Kong and his "New GF" Tommy knows it all and Joey's going to blust into laughter if she realised that. The target board suspect from police school which look like kenneth, wth~~ hahaa. During the evening, i headed down to meet him and spent quality time sharing and individualising ourselves though i waited for awhile for him. Things he said really made me feel so warm :) Those examples he gave, funny yet true. Those insight thoughts and feelings we felt, is pretty scary in a way. A dozen of why him and why me. Well fate usually strike when none of us expect, true enough the feelings were so genuine and comfortable. Its the feeling of appreciation i suppose. It is great sharing inner thoughts of us and concrete on certain facts and doubts we had. Thank you for everything, i really treasure every moment we spent.

That someone

Walking on with someone else in my life, i do not want to put any expectations onto my other half. I just want to see him good in what ever things he does.We met and the feelings were mutual, somehow or rather weird the actions and feelings are not within any control. I thought that i will never fall for someone like him, with such glib-tongue. I usually gets turn off towards this category of man. I can only say, something just pushes us together somehow. The kind of feelings i had 7 years ago suddenly came back. The feeling of being shy and blushing infront of the person you love. OMG~~ me blushing is a serious issue. I just do not know how to explain it. After so many years, i believe its a different stage of life in current. I will treasure what i have and add-priceless values to make myself a better person.

Thank you

Thanks to Ian, i can lead the life i longed to lead met wonderful people. Being myself and truly Seven. The confidences, the shine and taste of Seven is back. I lose trails of myself when i am with him. I learned alot of priceless lesson with him. To be patience, to care, to give and to appreciate. Without him Seven wont have grown up. She will still live in her fairy tale and get everyone around her to please her and taking alot of people for granted. Throughout this 1 and a half year, she learn to be tolerant. She learns to take care of people without anything in return. She changed for the better. He let me meet fantastic people Calvin, Zw, Morgan, Sharon, Jody, Kenny, Eric, James, Jaz most importantly i met Terence Kong who changed my life from a little girl to a responsible woman. Thank you "Daddy Kong" i wont let you down. On my way i met people who filled my life, changed my life and added values to me. I thank god, everything is a blessing in disguise. Life is like a rollor coaster back then, where i thought i found the person whom i can spend my rest of my life with. But everything is just too beautifully painted by him. What i would want to see in a relationship is not only you impressing me. The bottom line is to be who you are, what you are.

She is happy

She is happy with what she has now. Enjoying every moment in life. Work is in place so does her love life... She looked into her production sheet and she feels please with what she did. All of a sudden, everything start to fall into place and what she believes in finally came true. The happiness from the bottom of her heart. She stopped puking and feels great about her life. To calculate what she has in her life, probably at this moment she is at her peak after so many years. Thank you for giving me all these. I m so glad i met you.

Gee .. Its a secret advertisment

Soy Joy

Sing song Shunappi

Lovely rena

Ah-tas bu

These few days ii

These few days

Moving on in life

Moving on in life, in work, sch and relationships. I start to take a very different approach, relationship to me transforms itself to become optional. As i can still lead my happy life without a relationship.Work and sch are needs. In relationship i decided not to care that much as eventually one who doesnt not withstand a storm is worthless to savage. I am slowing things down. Try not to think about it anymore. What is met to be will be and i shall not harp on it anymore. I do not want to struggle on it any longer. Its a risk of maintaining something which is not met to be in the first place. Most of my close ones commented. The choice is still up to me and i decide to take what advise on. They told me that, probably your friends and family loves myself more than he does. They just said, Seven got to love herself more and i think i really should. Putting feelings aside, i should stop my doings when he is concern. Live on happily and be the happy me. At a certain time, its too late to apologise. Let unhappiness go, forgive but remember the wrongs in order not to make the same mistake again. I will observe everything around me in order not to make the same mistake again. Friends get tired of telling me off over and over again. I know they really care and they just want me to be happy. Thanks my dearies.

Untitled -2

The light at the end of the tunnel is an on-coming train which ramps me right now. It is like a roller coaster ride where i just fall straight to the trough when i am enjoying the joyful ride. What i expect is always not what it becomes. Too too too many promises made and less than a handful fulfilled. I fear that what is promised now, will be broken in mere less than moments. I really need time to conclude whether everything is for the better or worst to come. Time will tell and a strong relationship will surface on top of all distractions if you love me enough.

Untitled

A day had passed, and i dont even know what am i doing. Am i being gullible to believe in what he says or pleaded? Or shall is just do what my brains tells me to do. My brains said, he is incorrigible you should leave that idiot for good, it is just the beginning of and end of the excellent behaviour he pulls up caused ; a leopard doesnt change its spots once things toned down, the same attitude will come back again.

And if it happens again, i rake the promises he made months ago and the way he treats me, he will goes; why you and Karen always like to pick fight on the past? screaming at the top of his voice. This is what i foresee.

You know i will never forget what happened ytd. You know it for yourself what will happen before you did that to me.

So many unfulfilled promises, from the day we got back together till now. Does it get better? Do i feel happier? Just count it on. . . . how many times i walked out ur place? After a fight? Simple, just last month before mum's day.

I do not want to cry for you anymore.

If you really love me that much as you claimed, please leave me alone. Get away from my life because i think my life will be happier without you.

I dont even know who are you to me now. . . . . . . and what do i treat you for? Am i putting an act to smile? Or you are there, because you are so readily available? Anyway fuck it lar... In fact i really have got no intention to continue on. Since you are so determined in not letting me leave ur life. . . . . but i m excluding you out mine.

The unhealed wounds

That push, which landed me at the doorsteps of his house woke me up from my dream, the dream of setting our own home shattered. The wounds he left in me, visible and invisible. The unhealed wounds he left in my heart. This time round i really woke up. Its time to put a stop to the nightmare. I cant bear not to cry when i looked at my cuts and wounds. I love myself and he should get lost in my life. Her heart towards him is dead for real this time. The moment i see him, chill went down my spine and no one would be able to understand that. That fall kills every advantage point of him. I cant be that person to take care of him anymore. I'll pass the relay to any available ladies who come along. I will be grateful if you can take him away from me. Good luck to him and to me.

I swear, i will carry the wounds you left in me for life, never healing to remind me the pain of falling in love again.

missing him

I didnt know how important he was in my life until he went for his ICT. I really miss him badly .i miss the way he teases me, the way he hugs me and so much so much.... bee .... i really wanna hug hug you.... i miss the way the roll on our bed.... we play ah zap and so many moments we shared..... Bee... pls be back soon ok!! i really need ur hugss......

I do not know why

I do not know what is it so. Why his mood always affect mine. Whenever he is moody or whatsoever, my day turns sour as well. It has sub-consciously becoming a norm and he knows that. But when ever i m moody, i tried to keep everything to myself in order not to spoilt his day out. What is the gain at the end of the day? *Try think with your ass*

He likes to mingle with little little attention which makes me boils at times and i fucking swear that i will not want to be bothered by that anymore.

There is an expiry date for everything in the universe, there should be one for any relationships. As for him, probably i just keep myself away for the time being to let him sort out his thinking a little. I am sick and tired of those moment of guessing. ITs so freaking annoying and irritating.

Happy bday for my dear RoBin Oh, ur getting older, its time for you to get a GF. Belated bday for Xiao Mei, i suppose you had a great night laughing at the jokes.

Those jokers were at Zouk tonight, i supposed his GF expired thats the reason why he is there? NO idea and not very interested as well.

Dear Boy went missing for 3 months and its a good sign, i know, he is happily in love. That is the main reason he dont come along bothering me anymore. Its good in a way.

Today someone told me, all men are cheapo, i corrected him. 35% Cheapo, 2% Idiots, 3% suckers and 69% sluts. The remaining 1% either got married or turned gay.

Isnt a good day

Its a bad day for me today. My morning starts with a heavy downpour, and everything just dont go my way. Owning to myself being not positive enough i suppose. Results is out and i flung 1 module. M didnt pick up a plan from me and need further consideration. I suppose I am not doing good enough for her which contribute to her reluctance of put her trust in me. I am so disappointed with myself.

At this point of time i really thank those friend and acquittance for putting the trust in me. Some encouragement is what i really need. OMG, never feel so bad being the first time not closing a deal after my proposal. Am i not putting the need of my clients at the 1st priority or something else happened? Can anyone tell me?

I sent a sms to a prospect friend of mine today, my motive is just to inform her about the free coverage for her child. My intention is to inform her, and helping her out in what she demand from the start. Her reply makes me feel so sour. In my message, there is no intention of selling, and it is a hospitalisation shield plan, its good as i earn nothing from it. It is just an additional service i gave on behalf of aviva. Her reply sounds harsh with just few words. "I dont want" it does rack me abit, and i replied thanking her for the reply as basic courtesy.

I just need to shake off the image of a pestering insurance agent. I want to be a person who helps people plan for their rainy day, not a force selling personnel. Stop sterotyping me.