Closing up this chapter of my life, 

7kai.blogspot.com is my newspace.

Its April 2012 !

It is April 2012, and it has been close to 2 months not logging into this private space of mine. It was just an instant I happened to start writing once again.

Something just festered in me, I found myself receiving something I wouldn't thought of having. I do not know and is incapable of conjecturing what that suppose to be. But I felt a different set of something in me, I was being lifted, the burden of someone was lifted instantly.

The kind of feeling can be described as if someone walked into my heart and flipped the switch on, in just an instant of split seconds certain things within me changed. It is not within my comprehension of how such instant are possible? How real was that? Such feelings are intangible and pretty impossible to be explained.

I found a relieve of freedom.

I find myself loving Luoyi in a very different way. Not the loving kind of  male and female relationships anymore, but turns out to be what I had been asking for, which is a friendship. The kind of loving, teasing, and provoking relationship with Luoyi had left me. What remains was what God has promised me, a true friendship.

Out of instant, I find terms like: Little Chouchou, Smelly had became foreign to me. Something in me changed. They had truly had became past tense finally. I don't even find myself having the urged to call the nicknames which I used to be calling Luoyi. It is certainly a relieve for me where a new friendship is beginning to build. Certainly God is preparing me something new, because such feelings are totally out of description. I finally find myself having such burdens wiped away wholesomely. 

This man who I used to love so much had became a new friend out of so many happenings we walked through together. Theologically speaking, the old had been completely wiped off and refreshes itself. This day on, is about a new love in friendship rather than some old past. 

Hugging Luoyi has turned into something different from the past. To me, like I always do hugging a male friend like Mike, Jon and other people as a form of encouragements had arise in the way I will be giving Luoyi as well. It is like after a long 5 to 6 years of walk something just changes so instantly, I want to be Luoyi's friend, truly a friend that will not be able to fall into the grey areas anymore.

It turns out into me, it is difficult to even call him chouchou, this feeling had totally disappear. Its an amazing feeling I cannot explain why. As we walk this way onwards as really just friends, I hope to foster a stronger friendship within him and me.

The chapter of the love for Luoyi now has come to a closure. It is a true final closure with no bitterness, resentment nor whatever it may be.

Thank you Jesus.

We Are The World 25 For Haiti - Official Video

City Harvest Church Easter Drama 2010 - Our Best Friend Is Jesus Christ

This always keep me laughing each time I see Adrian doing such stunts.

My favourite easter drama Life book

Ramiro Garcia -- Amazing Grace -- American Idol - Lakewood- Houston Audi...

Carrie Underwood - Jesus, Take The Wheel

Jesus

Dear Jesus,

I received a message from my chou chou today asking me if I've recovered from my virus attack fever. He told me, dont let Jesus down. I smiled, silly milly luoyi, he didnt know who You are Jesus. He do not know that Jesus, You are not just the son of God but a voice living within me. My relationship with You Lord. Silly . . . . . Luoyi. Lord soon Luoyi will have his very relationship with You Jesus and He will come to see You face to face. You are not the kind of God whom we offer You with that kind of prayers like how we used to pray to other gods. You are different, and I have seen the beauty of yours. So beautiful and so amazing. Luoyi didnt know that You are Love and Love is You. He didn't know that I gave up my life for You Jesus so You live and not me anymore. You are my voice, my walk, my everysteps I walk.

Jesus let Luoyi come to know you, so he can experience the wonderful joy of Yours, what is really meant by You live and not us anymore. You joy overwhelmed in every aspects of my life, walking on my behalf. * Smiles* My Luoyi will come to know you soon.

It has been 5 years Jesus, and the never ending interceeding voice I've made through Christ on behalf of my love. Words cant represent how much I love you Jesus. You are really my beautiful savior.

All because you loved me.

Luoyi didnt know that all the while, it is not me, but You voicing off me. The kind of extreme joy radiating off me. Let him my love feel this incredible joy of Yours. May my luoyi be back into your arms very soon, and that was when I smile in tear as You welcome him back into your arms.

Thank you Jesus for everything. I love you!

Thank you city harvest church, my life, my spiritual home, thank you for all your prayers and encouragments. I love you city harvest church



Your loving best friend

Kai qi

Hero

In time,

you will find the truth when you'll to seek the way

Day 471

I really love my church, my life

My favourite BABY DELICATION service

 Baby Mattius and Debora

 CELAB!!!

 We are a big family and we pray together hand in hand!

A place of agreement is a place of power

Day 470

Day 470 - This is the last and I am walking on faith and trust each new day

The everyday rainbow I asked for from my Father has been appearing and I give thanks to my beloved dear Father Lord being so faithful to me. I've left to walk on a new stage of my life.

Everynight during my prayer evening, I will lift up my requests to Father in thanksgiving and with love. To spend time with my trustworthy and faithful Father God. To pray for the desire He impressed into my heart each night.

Still do, I pray for Luoyi everyday, I pray that God will shape him into a better man for his own good. I left him totally for I know God will take good care of the situation.

I've deactivated my facebook account, deleted Luoyi's contact numbers which I dont have any memory of. Blocked him from Whatapps. I left feeling calm and peace in me. I know my Father lord has led me into this. Truly I regained a kind of joy which I do not know where it comes from.

It felt like a release of bondage in this tiring relationship I've been going through for coming 5 years. God is a good God and He will stage not only my heart. I know when He deals with me to do that action, He will handle Luoyi's part to refrain him from contacting me at the same time.

This relationship of spouse loving kind of love has come to an end. New day, new life, seize the day!

Thank you Father. 

Love.Faith.Hope

Day 451 - 469

Day 451 - 469

Titled : Happiness

I was at the poolside when this jumps onto me: Generations come and go but it makes no difference. The sun rises and sets and hurries around to rise again.

It seems like many things and events in life are futile. Things are never new, I am not implying in technology or some medical breakthroughs, I am just merely speaking upon human relationships in the pursuit of happiness in our lives.

I've never understand this meaning of happiness until I met "happiness" itself who is God. For certain reasons in which I cannot even give a rightful explaination of how such happiness comes by. Such joy from the Lord even when I am in a difficult financial situation of stretch.

Taking finances aside, I mean finances are important but they are not the most important of things in my life. Money come and money go, money spent in a wise manner determines financial well planned. Money can be calculation, budgeted and forecast in some sense, what I feel which is more important is things we cannot measure, touch, calculate or forecast.

1. Situations

2. People

3. Feeling and emotions

Life's experiences are not always happy. But the world tells us to demand happiness, do all we can to attain it. Making personal satisfaction as our chief goal. In writing this part of my own life, I discovered that wealth, power, position, wives, husbands, girl friends or boyfriends and accomplishments can have the power to create a temporary getaway of happiness but it is never lasting. Meaning, you can have everything in life yet you are not happy.

Happiness is an elusive goal because people and circumstances change quickly, something quicker than what we can imagine. Sudden emotions, heartaches, lost of money, love ones just to mention a few.

True and lasting happiness, however comes only from pleasing and obeying a certain direction and will in life. Which I call Him God. Thus happiness cannot be achieved, somehow or rather in life, you will get disappointed or let down by something, some people, somehow, you just feel unjustified of what you received.

I look at a few people in my life of how can they live such a beautiful joyous life. Other people might think that they are kind of pathetic, but from the kind of joy they give out, just one word or describe Brilliant !!

They just sparkles like diamond 20 carats in whole.

No matter how blessed we can be, up to a certain degree we arnt satisfied. To what degree can we live in total happiness, where no matter what hardship and storms that try to wreck our lives, we flip it and changes it into happiness instead?

The answer is happiness cannot be achieved; it can only be received. It can be recieve only through a right and strong relationship with God. 

Question here, do u think God will worry about tomorrow? Frankly I dont think so, God is never worried. It is not his nature. 

Therefore when we have a strong relationship with God, our worries turn lesser. We start to adapt to his nature residing in a sleeping corner in our heart. Remember he blow his breath into the dust he made from earth and human came into life. Every single one has the ability to ignite this breath of God in us, whether you are a christian or not. This breath determines our destiny and wakes up the giant sleeping in each of us. 

For reassuringly, many times, we do not know what is the best for us, we do not love ourselves enough, that is the reason we keep falling into that shit hole, loving someone you thought you love, which the fact, maybe you do not or hurting someone who loves you more than yourself. Love is really profound, until you met Jesus Christ in a personal encounter, you then realised that to love, is to be like Jesus Christ. That is the selfless love.

Well the day I said a certain thing, " Break me God, so I'll be like Jesus Christ, break my heart for what breaks yours Jesus "  Testings came immediately, God took the most important thing in my life away. Totally and immediately. I was somehow forced to obey and choosed love. Broken till the max, shag till the brim, no hope, no vision, no life, nothing, I just dazed. My mind blanked out, but His love comforted me, and gave me His vision.

Truly till today I've walked, I've never regret telling God to break me. He shaped me, not only He shaped me, He shaped the man I gave up into God's hands. 2 years from now, even thou we are not together, the kind of love Luoyi and myself has really got tested and grew stronger, clearer, and in a better direction. I realised when God break and shaped me, I committed my love into God's hands to shape the love in both of us as well.

Even for parents, their love for their kids sometimes ended up hurting their kids. For daddies and mummies whom you thought you love your kids by doing alot for them and neglected them by not giving them time to spend with you.

For those who love yourself so selfishly, you shoot the arrow back at yourself too, as you will turn futile living in you and your own world of narcissism with me myself and I. Which is self illusion and end up with the whole world against you. 

So do we really know what is good for ourselves? Until you have a right relationship with God our Father, then you will know what is best for you in obeying Him. For He is the one who really knows us and prepares the best for us. If you are chasing happiness, you will never find it, if you are seeking God, you will find everlasting joy.