Choices

At times i was wondering do i have a choice to make. Many told me of course my dear, better choices out there, those who revolves around you make good choices. I do not know with that much of doubt and bad experiences i had in the past, how far can i continued walking in my current love life.

.Things i did to balance my emotional fears. Too hard even for the closest to understand. These are the things i do not hold threat to me in the past. I am having it all together now. Those things i observed, see and feel, the feeling of people deluding me even the people i used to respect and trust.

He asked me to confront with someone trustworthy, i dont see the point. Once beaten twice shy, i m not going to do that anymore. Re assuring, i do not know whether that helps, but the numbing feeling had risen. One day, nothing is gotta suppress it anymore. I hope that this day dont come, as that will be the ugliest side of me. The cruel and cold me resurfaced when everything starts to fade.

Without exciting point to ignite in a relationship. No surprises only shocks and disagreements.

A "too" feeling person may be good and bad. Everything rely on feelings. I wont drag or waste other's time when my feeling for that person fades off. Just like what happened in the past. The word love should be actionable not only consist of just words.

Someone told me, i am too independent, self sufficient . Maybe its true. This is the kind of feelings i gave others.