All along when i thought that i have put that fear and burden of past down. Things which happens still triggers the unhappy past which i choose d to escape. Deep in the the wound is never heal. From the past one year till now, and the incident i met months ago.
I supposed i am really badly scared emotionally. Once i thought i have walked out of that shadow but when the night falls at times emotions still flows and those wounds just stabbed me hard. I was view emotionally strong but i guess i am utterly beaten up once again by the when my heart aches and sour.
I hate this feeling totally! Faithless i guess no longer that person who hold her chin up high and tell herself she deserve to be love. The feeling is sort of, she dont want to fall again. The only way not to fall is to avoid.
I am getting sick and tired of something which i deem unfruitful. Remember the me 3 years back, all out for the search for her Mr Right but now, she dont even dare to step out an inch more. She is just too reluctant from her disappointing past. Its like she is just running on a treadmill at the same spot, perspiring and exhausted but she just couldnt get herself from point A to B. No matter how hard she tired there is a barrier the only way is only to persist and she dont even know why.
When everything comes to him, i just get nowhere and always place myself in a dilemma of not moving front or back. I know i had been grumbling alot to my ** i guess she had said what can. I just cant move on emotionally. I know there are times when i am unreasonable. Its the insecure me. In fact the real me is so shattered emotionally.
I just wish to be left alone, as the more i run and expect, the more exhausted i get. I am breathless, i just wish to get off the treadmill.
I supposed i am really badly scared emotionally. Once i thought i have walked out of that shadow but when the night falls at times emotions still flows and those wounds just stabbed me hard. I was view emotionally strong but i guess i am utterly beaten up once again by the when my heart aches and sour.
I hate this feeling totally! Faithless i guess no longer that person who hold her chin up high and tell herself she deserve to be love. The feeling is sort of, she dont want to fall again. The only way not to fall is to avoid.
I am getting sick and tired of something which i deem unfruitful. Remember the me 3 years back, all out for the search for her Mr Right but now, she dont even dare to step out an inch more. She is just too reluctant from her disappointing past. Its like she is just running on a treadmill at the same spot, perspiring and exhausted but she just couldnt get herself from point A to B. No matter how hard she tired there is a barrier the only way is only to persist and she dont even know why.
When everything comes to him, i just get nowhere and always place myself in a dilemma of not moving front or back. I know i had been grumbling alot to my ** i guess she had said what can. I just cant move on emotionally. I know there are times when i am unreasonable. Its the insecure me. In fact the real me is so shattered emotionally.
I just wish to be left alone, as the more i run and expect, the more exhausted i get. I am breathless, i just wish to get off the treadmill.
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