I do not know what have gotten into me, why am i so paranoid when he is unreachable. I cant stand a tinny bit of uncertainty, that's me i suppose. Or it is just not the matter of being paranoid, but i just want to get hold of him and shake him off my life. I often ask myself is that what i want? To be simple i just cant trust. The BIG word is TRUST. Experiences re-enforce that men are jerks, they just cant be trusted. They will lie till the bottomline even when the lie is about to unwrap. They are like warriors guarding their fort of lies.
Unpleasant experiences are the main contributors to who i am now and how i view those rascals. Ample times i just wanted to shake him off and lead a happy lovely Seven's way of life without him. Somehow i do not know why is it so hard for him to let me go? i truely understands what K went through in the past. Those idiotic webs just keep sticking onto me.
He always ask me, what is the point of being together when i do not trust him. I simply replied well, i m fine to leave u. And he will go around hounding which the same old questions" Whats wrong with you? or What do u want now?" Those standard lines used.
Paranoid - i do not know whether should i use that word or there are underlying meanings behind it. I clearly knows that i keep hounding on and behaving to paranoid, is see somethings i want to see in order to draw my lines with him. The word TRUST is too tedious for me to handle.
Many months after that incident, we are 16 month old today. What i can comment on is, its not what he did to make up for the wrongs he did and gaining the trust. Ample times i told him that go ahead with your friends, i trust you, its all crap!! For those dearie who understand the latent motive is merely, i just dont want to care. Caring too much make my life too miserable.
To trash those unpleasant feelings apart, i have got people who helps to balance my emotional feelings, or else i'll land myself in IMH. Work and school is stressful, he is my stress itself. Uncle SS will be leaving soon, he is hopping onto Virgo. Pls bring him along with you.
Unpleasant experiences are the main contributors to who i am now and how i view those rascals. Ample times i just wanted to shake him off and lead a happy lovely Seven's way of life without him. Somehow i do not know why is it so hard for him to let me go? i truely understands what K went through in the past. Those idiotic webs just keep sticking onto me.
He always ask me, what is the point of being together when i do not trust him. I simply replied well, i m fine to leave u. And he will go around hounding which the same old questions" Whats wrong with you? or What do u want now?" Those standard lines used.
Paranoid - i do not know whether should i use that word or there are underlying meanings behind it. I clearly knows that i keep hounding on and behaving to paranoid, is see somethings i want to see in order to draw my lines with him. The word TRUST is too tedious for me to handle.
Many months after that incident, we are 16 month old today. What i can comment on is, its not what he did to make up for the wrongs he did and gaining the trust. Ample times i told him that go ahead with your friends, i trust you, its all crap!! For those dearie who understand the latent motive is merely, i just dont want to care. Caring too much make my life too miserable.
To trash those unpleasant feelings apart, i have got people who helps to balance my emotional feelings, or else i'll land myself in IMH. Work and school is stressful, he is my stress itself. Uncle SS will be leaving soon, he is hopping onto Virgo. Pls bring him along with you.
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