Walking

Teach me how to move and walk on.

Whenever i took a step ahead you pushed me two steps backwards.

I am so tired.

I am drained.

Towards the disappointment.

I feel worthless for the amount a care and love i put in.

At a point of time,

i really can not differentiate what is the truth or what is not.

I start to recall what was told in the past.

They just burns up my heart.

To the extend the pain which pierces and reminded me,

what was told which makes me jump up with joy in the past maybe just acts.

It is just too hefty for me to digest.

In the dreams i had nights to night,

i was just left there by myself bleeding and dying.

I thought i can embrace myself up as time goes by.

But i am just lying to myself.

I was brought down to cartier boutique days ago.
J chooses a ring for me and handed a return ticket to Zurich.
I walked out of the boutique the escape the unplanned situation.
He followed me out.
I finally stopped.
I apologised for being rude.
Its something out of my expectation.

I told him, my heart is too small to fit someone else in there.

My heart is fully occupied.

Even if it is emptied someday,

the opening of the heart is sealed.

I wouldnt even want to love anymore.

Its just so painful.

My apologises,

I just cannot accept anyone anymore.

Maybe you will be able to walk on in life just as nothing had ever happened.

But for myself you just left an irreversible change in my life.