The cellphone

I had been keeping messages of what he sent in my cellphone.

I notice a pattern in it,

as time goes by,

the messages just gets shorter and shorter.

I remembered seeing the message he send on August the 4th,

that he was ensuring me that he wouldnt be silly enough to do anything to hurt me.

I gladly believe in it.

Right now i really cannot differentiate anymore.

I am trying as much as i can to make this relationship work out.

I am not there to proof to anyone else.

I just want to be happy, loved and doted.

=========================

Thanks for all these while, if you think that you've love me enough, maybe you didnt. I might not be your destination, but towards me you are. It can be a destination of a long term resting peace or somewhere i can stop and tell myself i had enough and i have got no more love to spare. Your arms used to be the warmest resting anchor of mine, and your bed gives the longest and sweetest nap i can ever get. Now it gives pain when i realised its being shared even if it is in a split mintues. The pain wretch as if myheart would stop beating any moment. This is the second time encountering such pain. The first time of such encounter was when my younger sister suicided, i thought i've lose her because she is someone i love with the bottom of my heart. Have you realised how painful i was. now? and how much of a impact you are to me? You asked me; am i happier? and my answer was i wish i could. All of a sudden i just feel so belittled, belittled in the heart of yours. If one day i decided to walk away? Will you still hug tight in your arms to tell how dear am i to you or just look as i walk away? Maybe i just weigh a little heavier than a penny.