Its so Damn Cool

I have to share this.

Innovative mobile company.

I like the one with Nobody

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I got it from Fannon's Page

Random

Saw these pictures in my ucam folder and I decided to put them up.

Twin effect

This is my Empress Costume.

But the more I look,

the more it resembles the Ancient wedding gown.

Remove the head Gear,

Its a wedding gown.

It looks fine when i put it on with my own " Ah mah " jade necklace

Xiu hua Xie

I've made the nails off aluminium foil, those extremely long pinkies Dowager has.

This costume is very different from the one I had in mind. Like those gold threaded phoenix and those "ge ge" shoes.

Princesses and Empress dont wear " Xiu Hua xie "

Probably I will just put over a red translucent cloth over my head and be a bride instead.

I cant deny that Mediacorp really has well, clean and quality costumes and its definately worth the price :-)

Megan Fox

Its Halloween.

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Its Halloween this Saturday and I will be heading down for the Allen's gig the Se7en's band.
I believe Sean will be bringing Fulala and company down for Allen's gig before the whole group head down to zouk together :)
I am excited as Halloween this 31 Oct will be an interesting one !
Our gang will be shopping for Halloween costumes within this week and I am looking forward to it.
:p
Good for my hubhubie,
he has his ready one and only costume.
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Here's what I have in mind.

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My Empress Dowager costume / So damn hard to get, I should have grab a set of it when I was in Beijing for holiday.

I am trying my luck later in the evening,

Hoping to get my Empress Dowager;

ITS SO DAMN COOL TO DRESS like EMPRESS DOwAGeR,

with some slight look of ghostly pale face and extreme red lips.

Most Importantly,

I wouldn't crash costumes with some ANGELS or DEVILs.

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The traditional Red bridal costume is the next of list <> if I cant get my EMPRESS DOWAGER.

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Maybe I'll get father to make one for me in paper, lolx . . I am just kidding, I dont want to get burn when I am smoking.

Anyway I am getting traditional this Halloween.

No Cleo-patra Egyptian queen nor some cos-play figures.

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Too many chinese zombie ' Jiang Shi ' shows I've watched recently.

Its gotta be real fun man,

I am looking forward to it !!!

Lets watch this !

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This is it, and lets watch it.

It's Sunday morning

I had a great time at Service today, its more than words to describe. It is just Mavalous! Spending time during service is the only moment I can get some peace at heart, follow the path which is plan by god and to be the self I always wanted to remain untouch. I never once forgotten to be true, kind at heart and to appreciate life for me.

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I was invited by brother Andy for some home-cooked dinner at this place near where service was held. I prepared myself with a bottle of wine as a token of appreciation. I walked in the place feeling uneasy I do not know why initially. I just felt so weird. Everything was reasoned out after my hubhubie told me what happened. To the new crowd of people I met today other than Andy himself, I am like a new girlfriend of my hubhubie. Therefore I was being out casted for some reasons and I was left alone to deal with it after my hubhubie left the place. I am not some kind of unfriendly being and I was trying hard to be myself as well as not to feel awkward with the new crowd I've met. I do not blame my lovely for placing me in such predicament, I know there won't be any help from him as I am not part of his plan to be there at the gathering. He left the place not trying to make a better position for myself and I was dying to leave that awkwardness after knowing the reason of why was I being out-casted by the girls.

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Grace to be with God

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Thank god, when I was feeling so out of the place, someone took out the Mahjong set and they are short of 1 player. My heart sigh a moment of relieve. I started my Mahjong session and conversation starts. I was feeling much at ease after the interactive game with with Micheal's family members.

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He came back when I was on the 2nd wind of my mahjong session. He left again to a Birthday celebration and I was left there once again.

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The Mahjong session ended and they were preparing for Zouk. It will be rude to leave just like that so I decided to tag along Andy. Everyone asked me if my boyfriend will be joining us at Zouk? I couldn't answer their question. I just told them his phone was flat and I couldn't reach him. They thought that my boyfriend would have come back for me but he didn't.

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At Zouk, the girls were in their own conversation and I was left out as usual. I went over to Velvet hopefully to catch the usual VU gang up, but they were not there. I went over to look for FuLala's hairstylist Dane and managed to "Halaa" abit to pass time.

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Thank god I am a smoker and I managed to strike some decent conversation with Marcus and his girlfriend.

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The night finally ended and Andy sent me home.

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I've never faced situation as awkward as today therefore I am kind of slow to react. Even so, I give thanks for the invite Andy gave this evening. I do not know if the girls I met tonight tinted me with some prejudice of the past, but I am very sure in time to come they will love me for who I am. I have did no wrong, I have make no ill-intention. I am just being very simple.

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Sometimes, its just some unwanted feeling of why am I being treated that way when I am just so simple. The simple self god bestow onto me to care, love and be appreciative to everyone around me. I am never pretentious nor do I hold any ill intention to anyone I've met. I just feel sad in a way that I was being looked upon as a third party interference between my hubhub and his recent past. Plus the shoutout I've posted in the previous posting, I was amazingly labeled as if some " immoral third party " who come across " him and her ". I am unhappy but I understand that there is nothing I can do, And there is nothing he can do as well.

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I feel sad to be look upon the way as a third party which in fact I've did so much just to love him. I know, he is not in the control of everything that happened today. He is not in control of what others look upon towards me. I've never blame him. It just hurts somehow.

She is "Disturbed"

I feel kind of twitch after seeing a link to a shoutout in facebook. Immediately, I have the thought that the shoutout was referring to me. To be frank and honest, I am none of like what it was said. I've never wanted to be anybody nor do I envy the kind of life she leads. We're just people of a different social style.
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I feel tinted for some reasons I do not know why. For some smart ass who know whats going on and rationale about this "used to be" triangular relationship months ago would comprehend and see the whole story without any further elaboration. And seriously I do feel kind of sad to hear that from her. Since when, she turned so shallow? Those statements were Bimbo-tic to me. Even if it is not referring to me, I just feel so " you know, Boomz "

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X X X X : Why do girls wanna date the guys I've been with, especially RIGHT AFTER I've dated them? Are my second-hands that much of a steal or do I magically up their 'market value'? I feel so used... like Britney... Poor Britney. I watch...ed For the Record. I feel you. And girls, please stop trying to be me. There can only be ONE X X X X, you bloody wannabes. :) Read More .

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.Although we are not really friends to be, it is still part of disappointment to hear that from her. I've never dislike her or loathe her for whatever reasons or whatever things she told me many months ago. I've never doubt, hold criticism or feel the things that she said were sarcasm. Until someone reminded me yesterday where I just scratched my head and said maybe its her ego.

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It may be her ultimate EGO penning that statement down after she discovered it. I told her to take care and good luck to her in our last phone conversation.

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' MARKET VALUE ' is never determine as such. Probably she just think too highly of herself in some ways, In many cases, credits of self are determined by "unseen goodness" people rate you deep in their heart. I cannot deny that I have a great credit, I am just being myself.

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Deep down in my heart, I am sorry but I have to say, I do pity the lady who pen that down. Its her EGO and PRIDE, which makes her feel so undeserved. Her EGO and PRIDE make disappear the impression she used to give me. Now, she has to get through something in MEN. She is great looking, even better ever since recent months. I am thinking about how shallow men were and when you are perfect and gorgeous, you never know who loves you and who lust over you. I find that it is a hassle. What if one day, you went weak and beauty is never a concern anymore. You finally realised the man whom you thought, who loves and care about you actually lusts over you. He walks away. It becomes a tragic. <>

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Nevertheless in my case, nothing is about lust. I dont lust over my boy hubhub, I do not think that he is damn good-looking or whatsoever. I do not date him to make me feel proud. The factors that magnet me to him is, I see him, without his mask, the bottom simple heart he has. He is really great in many ways, if only he make and anchor his choice and option for something less complicated. Most importantly I really love alot him.

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If one day god decided to change him into a hilarious creature. He knows and everyone else out there who knows me can predict my actions. I love him enough to put him close to me, I will not even be ashamed to hold him tight on the streets, to kiss him like never before. He knows and everyone knows, the fact that I love him too much.

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I am beautiful, I dont need any approval. Because I have the kind of beauty which never age and last for a lifetime. I am SEVEN .

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P.S : I want to thank hubhubie for the bringing me out for Meteor Shower last night. This is the 1st time, I've got the chance to catch a Meteor shower. AND with the one I love so much. Thank you hubhub!

What if . . . .

My hubhub's place looks like a warehouse store-room with tonnes of clothes of his ex (s),
. In the past, I left bits and little over his place when we were suppose to part. * Smiles * Seriously . . Imagine I did that to create chances to see him again. Kind of Silly; but anyway its the past.
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But If one day we will to part for good [ * Choy, touchwood * ], I will not forget to get someone to pick up < To get someone to pick up instead of myself means, I will never never want to see you again, not anymore > :

1. Toothbrush
2. Hair sculpting lotion from Paul Mitchelle
3. A blue shaver
4. A tube of Urecare lotion
5. A tube of Therapeutic mask in the fridge
6. A tube of Hugo boss moisturizer
7. 1/4 bottle filled body shop lotion
8. 3 pair of earrings
9. 2 black pins
10. A Bulgavri Ring
11. 1 Adidas Jacket
12. 1 Espirt black jacket
13. 1 green Esprit top
14. Gap T-shirt
15. 2 shorts ( Pale yellow and brown )
16. 1 adidas Pink skirt
17. 1 Zara top
18. A dress-top
19. Powerpuff girl towel
20. A pair of roller blades / guards
21. 1 pantie
22. Aeromatic watch

I won't leave those "wu ah bo" stuffs around if I know I will be gone for good. Because I know for every ended relationship, I wouldn't even want to remain friends with the one I love or I used to love. I will cut all contacts, change a new phone number and cut ties with no channels of updates nor news, maybe not that extreme for the past relationships. But for current, I will. There is a reason why there is a quote like that " Love is equal to hate ". Dont have a chance to hate someone yet. So I wouldn't know how extreme I will get.

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Anyway, this is just a What if . . . . . . . .

I like this

Abstracted from hubhub's photo album.

Film shots

Specially like this.

The end of the week

Had a splendid weekend with my Hubhubie. It may seem to be an ordinary weekend in the eyes of many others. But for me, its the company of "us". I am kind of different when I am alone with my hubhubie. I tend to whine alot in his arms. This action of whining is something which is not within my control, perhaps you will only do that when you are with the ONE you feel most comfortable with where there is nothing else to hide. I am emotionally naked when we spend private time together, I'll say silly things, do silly stuffs and have the most spontaneous little actions which he will always notice. More than often I will naturally give off an innocent look with big round rolling eyes accompanied by the biting of lower lips which says " Opps " ~~ ! Sometimes I will roll on his bed, cuddle in "my pillow" and do silly actions which I dont even comprehend why am I even doing that. Its the same at home when I am alone, sometimes punch my dumb dumb looking green turtle or toss it in the air. Well, there is a kid in everyone no matter how old you are right.

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For a fact, the amount of enjoyment and love I have cuddling in the arms of my hubhubie is beyond what words can describe. It is just a kind of blissful feeling I will always look forward to in seeing him each time. I love the hug hug penguin walk on his feet and I enjoy massaging my " Fit fit Zai " hubhubie. Ps : Sorry that I didn't massage massage your hand last night before bed as I was too much in LalaLand. All I wanted to say, love you for not only dinner Crab feast on Saturday night, Fresh Live prawn self whipped dinner just now, Love you for the time spend together with me over the weekends. Silly silly will put on her best to gain more Kgs, in case I "evaporate" or in case I get dump by my hubhubie because I am too skinny :x

The message

For whatever that happened,

whatever it is,

you just have to remember,

I am always here.

With the love and grace I can give.

Never to leave you alone,

I may not be by your side always,

but you just have to remember,

I am the one who will always

care and love.

I want to be by your side when you are restless and tired

by your side when you are unhappy

hopefully to be by your side to share the joy.

Because you are one I care and love without reserve.

Although I wouldn't know what will I sow at the end of the day,

I just know that I love you.

A plug

Someone told me, its time to get a new " plug ", just give the translation in Hokkien and have a good laugh at it. I was laughing madly when I heard that and gave several slaps on his back. This is not the first time I've gotta comments like this. But this is indeed a creative one. I've hear comments like I am too accommodating to my hubhubie, comments like I am like a "maid" to him ; well . . . on 2 burning ends of a candle, I am slightly better and slightly worst off than one.

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On the slightly better ends, he has to coax and pacify me when I am pissed off at times, he has to adore me a little more sometimes when I am pissed off with his actions or words said.

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On the slightly worst off ends, a maid gets paid and I don't.

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Maybe, in the eyes many others, he doesn't seems like a nice caring boyfriend towards me, he gives the feel of he is taking me for granted in all ways. Its true that many of his friends did comment about this. Well, probably its just the one sided view they've seen. Indeed, to love him, I have to accept not only the good, I have to love his flaws as much at the same time. We cannot rely on just Love itself to survive a relationship. We need the wisdom to care and to understand. He is not perfect neither am I, but when I love him enough, he is the perfect one in my eyes.

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Cass

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Cass is the adorable one. I never stop laughing. She is just so freaking cute. She don't understand Hokkien therefore her spontaneous reactions were so funny accompanied by her blur blur look. I like the one about the ET figure she imaged as we talked about women. The long fingers and toes theory.

Thats Cass :)

.And btw its time to change a new phone. My Erisson is giving me crap. Its time to change a service provider, the current one just SUX. Time to get an IPHONE 3G. I saw what Kelvin did on the IPHONE and its AMAZING ! ! ! Especially on the video editing part I just realised how can a phone be so brilliantly perfect.

The big boy

I miss my " Ah beng " Hubhub This was taken last Saturday during our steamboat dinner/supper.

We parted after that night, driving home separately.

And I miss him so badly.

I miss this naughty hubhubie, I missed my chance of seeing him last night, I was out to secure an appointment. I miss him so much, and I know he misses me as much too.

(@_@)

. . . . . Massage massage de lah . . . . .

The escapees

I've noticed a cycle of pattern in him whenever he is swarmed up by pressures given. He will turn-on his escapees' mode. He will escape and runaway from it. I rally that he would choose to enjoy the fruit of love in receiving and chooses to walk-away when problem arise. He is great in short-term relationships but being in a long term relationship turns him gaga. Simply, he do not know how to manage it. His self-mode will goes on, in every moment he chooses to meet me up, seeing me means pressure. That is the reason why he started swaying away from me. He is afraid to hurt me. Therefore I believe that is the reason why he say this to me when I parted last night " Yeah, I won't be seeing my wifey any sooner." I never mean to exert pressures on him at all. The day I've decided to have this only man for my lifetime. I know I am all up to withstand these. There is nothing wrong to stand true and faithful for the man I wanted, to be understanding and hold strong faith to cross out his doubts. More than often he will land himself in a labyrinth of self conviction in our relationship. He has doubt in himself whenever he is ready to give and to commit. He has a constant fear of letting me down. He is easily bored out. Deep down I know he is afraid, afraid to face the uncertainty, the uncertainty to provide for a family. I know he long for one in his heart, to share a different kind of joy of a father, to have a kid of his own and be one great father. Its alright to be afraid because the responsibility is too hefty to shoulder. The pressure is too burdening at this point of time. He will search for alternative route to escape, party to make a pause in reality, booze enough to stop thinking about it for the time being. Back to reality, time is tickling away. What will be will be, I shall not probe any further. I will not dwell onto it anymore, when my time is up, I know I've did what I can with my best of ability. I can make answer to my life that I have not regretted.

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I just know somehow it seems like I was made to love him,

it seems like, I am part of him

and I belongs to him.

I don't know why, I just love him.

I don't know why, I can't bear to leave him.

and I don't know why, I just want to stay by his side.

Am I cursed or am I not?

I just want to love him.

Maybe I can only share the woes but not the joy with this man.

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There are different WANTS we desire in life. A family of my own which I long for. But time is not ripe. Someone decipher that my best timing of marriage is at the age of 28 just after my birthday. Having a family at age 28 will enhance and peak my financial wealth status, life will run smooth, help of * Gui Ren * will given and any point of downturns. This contribute my highest point in career at age 35 being a successful career woman with a blissful family where fortune is of abundance. He told me there is a man I met in my life who will groom me, nurture me and make me a maximise woman. He will make me grow mentally, more independently mainly because, he is the one who causes the bottomless valley in my life and he will be the one who peak my life as well. I come to realise that to climb up from a pitfall needs ample of courage. I do not know if he is the one, but I know he is the man who forces me to stand up by myself. The master told me for every turbulance I have to walk through myself which is so true, eventually peace will come and this man will be the one I will spend my life with and tie my knot at age 28. I missed the boat in year 2005, a man who can take care of me and be a darling to everybody. I am not going to miss my next boat 3 years down the road. In career wise, I am in the character of a human business, Master told me; I am lacking of metal in the 5 elements. To choose to work in a metal industry, financial sector or jewel/watches industry will bring me good. Thinking back, I did quite well back in Gliderol Door(s) an industry for metal doors fabrications. Oh ya, he told me that in future when I get married, the other half will be a great help as in partner of mine in business. Well I do not know how true, I wouldn't even know if ly will make the man? Just let the future tell.

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Just hope that turbulances will make us stronger in faith and love each other even more. We've been through enough and I hope that we will have smooth sailing in time to come.

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These are all for references. In another hand, I'll still leave my life in the hands of god. I know that he is great and has a great path for me to walk through. He hears my sincere prayers and I know he will definitely have the right man in mind for me. Lets leave everything to god.

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My prayers : For the past 15 months, I am drained up many times by the man I love with all I can. Even thou....I still want him to be happy, to vision his directions and to care for those who sincerely love him. It may not be me. But forget it, its ok lar.