Day 378

Day 378

I had been experiencing pretty ridiculous stuffs lately. I had been encountering many freak incidents where I kept meeting "men" with not too nice intentions. Firstly they might think that I am a fling material, fark!! ~ Secondly, they think that being nice towards me give them certain chances to get into my pant. Nuts ~

This word "Fling" and "Scandals" had been out of my dictionary loooonnnggg nuts long ago.

Of course they got screwed and slammed by me through words. I wasn't angry with them, I was angry with how the world consume people into such mentality just like that. Out of some kind of amazing factors, some are in fact my juniors, thinking that they can fool around with me. I used to teach him maths. I am dishearten and sad in a way or another for they used to be nice and sincere people. What has seriously gotten into them? What is wrong with them, and how has the world shaped them to be?

Why all of a sudden males started popping into my life behaving like hippies? I truly grieve when attitudes of males changes just like that. Especially people whom I've known for years. Sad to say. And it seems like guys who were attracted to me are getting younger and younger.

I get truthful answers from individuals sometimes after some wild goose chase they had. And they confessed to me that, they thought I looked "farkable" what a word to use. They do tried to get something off me, but surrendered. I am too tough a nut to crack as my intimate level of defenses were really high. Dont even have a penny thought about it.

There are certainly reasons why I am really selective with the people I watches movies with. A few reasons:

 . . . . . . ok, I better not tell you guys my weakness . fullstop . 

Learn alot of things and treasure alot of things as time passes. Things in which I let loose in the past binded me as the most precious thing I treasured now.

If not for chou chou, I will never understand and know what is worth keeping. In this contempory era, sexual intimacy may be treated so lightly and none actually cares a darn about it. But towards me now, it is everything I valued. We are living in a express fastfood era. Sexual intimacy can be treated so lightly to many people. They are fond of the instant excitement and the comfort brought forth by lust. In return many times, forgoing love, it turns hurtful when lust is outburst fullgrown.

But now, I understand the value of myself. The self respect of my own, a set of self image and values I gave myself. I love my own body and respect her. It shouldn't be treated like whore as if everyone can have a part of it. She is mine and she ought to be respected. And Finally I can totally differentiate lust and love. What is love, what does it bring forth. What is lust and for how long can it substain if a relationship is built only on lust. 

Love endures while lust breaks-away once it sees problems surfacing. That is the main difference. Nevertheless, chou chou is the one who taught me this lesson.