Moving on in life

Moving on in life, in work, sch and relationships. I start to take a very different approach, relationship to me transforms itself to become optional. As i can still lead my happy life without a relationship.Work and sch are needs. In relationship i decided not to care that much as eventually one who doesnt not withstand a storm is worthless to savage. I am slowing things down. Try not to think about it anymore. What is met to be will be and i shall not harp on it anymore. I do not want to struggle on it any longer. Its a risk of maintaining something which is not met to be in the first place. Most of my close ones commented. The choice is still up to me and i decide to take what advise on. They told me that, probably your friends and family loves myself more than he does. They just said, Seven got to love herself more and i think i really should. Putting feelings aside, i should stop my doings when he is concern. Live on happily and be the happy me. At a certain time, its too late to apologise. Let unhappiness go, forgive but remember the wrongs in order not to make the same mistake again. I will observe everything around me in order not to make the same mistake again. Friends get tired of telling me off over and over again. I know they really care and they just want me to be happy. Thanks my dearies.

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The light at the end of the tunnel is an on-coming train which ramps me right now. It is like a roller coaster ride where i just fall straight to the trough when i am enjoying the joyful ride. What i expect is always not what it becomes. Too too too many promises made and less than a handful fulfilled. I fear that what is promised now, will be broken in mere less than moments. I really need time to conclude whether everything is for the better or worst to come. Time will tell and a strong relationship will surface on top of all distractions if you love me enough.

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A day had passed, and i dont even know what am i doing. Am i being gullible to believe in what he says or pleaded? Or shall is just do what my brains tells me to do. My brains said, he is incorrigible you should leave that idiot for good, it is just the beginning of and end of the excellent behaviour he pulls up caused ; a leopard doesnt change its spots once things toned down, the same attitude will come back again.

And if it happens again, i rake the promises he made months ago and the way he treats me, he will goes; why you and Karen always like to pick fight on the past? screaming at the top of his voice. This is what i foresee.

You know i will never forget what happened ytd. You know it for yourself what will happen before you did that to me.

So many unfulfilled promises, from the day we got back together till now. Does it get better? Do i feel happier? Just count it on. . . . how many times i walked out ur place? After a fight? Simple, just last month before mum's day.

I do not want to cry for you anymore.

If you really love me that much as you claimed, please leave me alone. Get away from my life because i think my life will be happier without you.

I dont even know who are you to me now. . . . . . . and what do i treat you for? Am i putting an act to smile? Or you are there, because you are so readily available? Anyway fuck it lar... In fact i really have got no intention to continue on. Since you are so determined in not letting me leave ur life. . . . . but i m excluding you out mine.

The unhealed wounds

That push, which landed me at the doorsteps of his house woke me up from my dream, the dream of setting our own home shattered. The wounds he left in me, visible and invisible. The unhealed wounds he left in my heart. This time round i really woke up. Its time to put a stop to the nightmare. I cant bear not to cry when i looked at my cuts and wounds. I love myself and he should get lost in my life. Her heart towards him is dead for real this time. The moment i see him, chill went down my spine and no one would be able to understand that. That fall kills every advantage point of him. I cant be that person to take care of him anymore. I'll pass the relay to any available ladies who come along. I will be grateful if you can take him away from me. Good luck to him and to me.

I swear, i will carry the wounds you left in me for life, never healing to remind me the pain of falling in love again.

missing him

I didnt know how important he was in my life until he went for his ICT. I really miss him badly .i miss the way he teases me, the way he hugs me and so much so much.... bee .... i really wanna hug hug you.... i miss the way the roll on our bed.... we play ah zap and so many moments we shared..... Bee... pls be back soon ok!! i really need ur hugss......

I do not know why

I do not know what is it so. Why his mood always affect mine. Whenever he is moody or whatsoever, my day turns sour as well. It has sub-consciously becoming a norm and he knows that. But when ever i m moody, i tried to keep everything to myself in order not to spoilt his day out. What is the gain at the end of the day? *Try think with your ass*

He likes to mingle with little little attention which makes me boils at times and i fucking swear that i will not want to be bothered by that anymore.

There is an expiry date for everything in the universe, there should be one for any relationships. As for him, probably i just keep myself away for the time being to let him sort out his thinking a little. I am sick and tired of those moment of guessing. ITs so freaking annoying and irritating.

Happy bday for my dear RoBin Oh, ur getting older, its time for you to get a GF. Belated bday for Xiao Mei, i suppose you had a great night laughing at the jokes.

Those jokers were at Zouk tonight, i supposed his GF expired thats the reason why he is there? NO idea and not very interested as well.

Dear Boy went missing for 3 months and its a good sign, i know, he is happily in love. That is the main reason he dont come along bothering me anymore. Its good in a way.

Today someone told me, all men are cheapo, i corrected him. 35% Cheapo, 2% Idiots, 3% suckers and 69% sluts. The remaining 1% either got married or turned gay.

Isnt a good day

Its a bad day for me today. My morning starts with a heavy downpour, and everything just dont go my way. Owning to myself being not positive enough i suppose. Results is out and i flung 1 module. M didnt pick up a plan from me and need further consideration. I suppose I am not doing good enough for her which contribute to her reluctance of put her trust in me. I am so disappointed with myself.

At this point of time i really thank those friend and acquittance for putting the trust in me. Some encouragement is what i really need. OMG, never feel so bad being the first time not closing a deal after my proposal. Am i not putting the need of my clients at the 1st priority or something else happened? Can anyone tell me?

I sent a sms to a prospect friend of mine today, my motive is just to inform her about the free coverage for her child. My intention is to inform her, and helping her out in what she demand from the start. Her reply makes me feel so sour. In my message, there is no intention of selling, and it is a hospitalisation shield plan, its good as i earn nothing from it. It is just an additional service i gave on behalf of aviva. Her reply sounds harsh with just few words. "I dont want" it does rack me abit, and i replied thanking her for the reply as basic courtesy.

I just need to shake off the image of a pestering insurance agent. I want to be a person who helps people plan for their rainy day, not a force selling personnel. Stop sterotyping me.