More than often, we set benchmark for the other half we have. I was discussing this issue with hubhub this afternoon when we were meddling with accounts for his shop. What do you see in the other half. I am simple in a way with benchmarks. After meeting up with all kinds of people I've seen for the past 25 years of my life, I found out that appearance is only primary.
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Too bad, in many cases men are shallow. Somehow they do not appreciate the good, because they only look with their eyes. If you will to ask me, what kind of guys I am attracted to? Men with brilliant brains. They do not need to be ultra suave or damn great looking, those kind of shallow appearance are meaningless to me. What matters the most is what are they made of? Are they made of drives and passion?
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I refreshed myself of why am I attracted to my hubhub. The words he said; men full of promises are the ones who can't fulfil it. Men with actions never make promises. * That was when I grew affection for him *
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Besides that, I love men who are filial, during one of the many nights a year ago when hubhub and I were working on the accounts at Macdonalds' beside his place, he told me this; looking at the amount of hardwork his mum did to support the family. He said; seeing my mum slogging for living made my heartache. My perception of him changed.
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During one of the nights when he reprimanded me so strongly for not loving myself enough during those days when I was with Ian. My favour for him increases. This goes on and on, I finally got myself so involved with him. I grew from liking to love, I started entrusting faith onto him as the days grew. He told me that he will not discard me away. I start loving him more each and everyday. I want to spend the rest of life with him. Until one day, the fatal incident happened. I experienced the first lethal heartache. I start to accept that nothing is perfect. He is not perfect neither do I. At the point of time, I walked out his place when he was fast asleep. I decided to give him up. I did not flare nor did I tear. I just walked away. The feeling of disappointment overwhelmed. He got me back and justify for his wrong being and I was taken in. He gave his word for the first time.
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Things went on fine for a month or so until one day, he decided to put a full-stop to all the fairy-tale he created. I was cool about it when this news broke up and I never realised I've put so much into it. I headed rock-bottom. I went off track and that was when I found out, I've given so much without myself realising it. At that point of time, I know that the only thing to do is to escape. I ran away abroad. Even thou, I can't stop missing him.
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I came back and finally decided to give up totally. The only way to do is to cut away all updates and contacts. I started deleting all contacts of him.
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He called again one late night to pick up my ring which I left in his place. I went, he hugged me tight when I see him again. We were back together once again and he gave his word for the 2nd time that he will not abandon me again.
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The story will go on and on . . . . . . back on track to my topic Criteria. The only criteria I have. I dont need a dream guy, drop dead gorgeous, someone who is as sweet as honey, super sweet and nice. The criterias I have is simple, is a true person, who holds honour in words, not deceptive, who has integrity, filial, he cannot be dubious, knows how to sincerely care for others, love can be simple care and concern, littlest things made great difference. I only believe in qualities which last, not quantity which die off as time goes by. You will never realise that the carbon you are holding is a diamond unless you are willing to test it with time. Diamonds are made from carbon anyway. Lousy quality graphites carbon diamonds die off and the shine they gave will eventually diminish as time goes by.
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Blesses and prayers: I've been busy lately, but dont worry I never forget my prayers for the ones I love, friends who care and peace in heart. Blesses for all my lovelies with good health and ability to face different challenges in life. Blesses for Kelvin's little newborn with wisdom and health. Blesses for Michelle and premature baby girl with good Health. Lastly I pray for greater warmness and harmony for home. God bless.
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