Day 89

Day 89 我不会放弃，除非我断气 this sounds so funny ^^

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Easter is coming = ^^= and It is finally 31st March 2010. Thank God, the premium is cleared. I had been running around bank and head office again. Driving around like a crazy woman in the busy traffic. Reached home at 5pm and relaxing around the corner. Its 31st March month end! Never had such a Gan-chong month end for so so ooo long. It feels good!

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Time to catch up with all my dearies, I am intending to book a resort stay at the IR, planning for a date so everyone can chillout together. But I really have got no idea when; as I really have no control over my busy schedule! Mondays - Sundays I am working every single day ! Ya, in time to come I will be a 小富婆. Throw all my money into investment portfolios, yeah yeah yeah make my money grOW !!!!

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Turned on the TV and it is some repeat telecast from Channel 8. Lolx. I saw you smelly on TV.

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臭臭今天考M5，应该是凶多吉少，要不然应该是会SMS我HAOLIAN HAOLIAN 一下! 今天下午的SMS 也没听他提起。。。。希望他有记得去考才好 ~，~ 宝贝啊!! -.- Pork你啊 Pink 你啊!

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在你离开的第89天，我还是一样的爱你 。 。 。心里对你的感觉好神奇，我也不知道为什么。虽然你离开了，在4个月前就已经不见了，但我的心还是紧紧被你锁着。原以为只要时间久了，对你的爱也会慢慢的变少。可怎么会爱你越来越多? 神奇吧? 就是因为太爱你了，所以更不能跟你在一起。虽然以老早就原谅了你，但我也怕了你! 怕你不知道什么时候有会因为不想面对责任和许下承诺而又把我给丢掉。想了都觉得自己好笑，我既然被你丢掉了3次，我应恨你才对。还在这里给你什么祝福。就是有一种重来都没有过的感觉，我要继续爱你。不在我身边也没关系，你知道我一直都会在转角，在你选择离开的那一处从来都没有离开过。想笑我傻尽管笑吧!

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我觉得这份爱好神奇!我想它真的能陪我走完这辈子，不是开玩笑的。多少人能够经历? 我想这样的爱绝种了吧????? 竟然会发生在我身上。算是我的福气好了。

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Prayers: I pray for an open heart and the mind of my hubhub to absorb whatever which is good and to put it into actions. Stay away from the deceptive. Pray for my hubhub and continue loving him everyday.

Day 88

Day 88
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Went for my drums audition for musician today ^^ hahaaa I guess it is abit " Buang " ^^ Had lunch with Victoria and sent my korean friend Huyun yo to Signature park. Huyun yo is a well charactered man *thumbs up* young fellow who is the same age as my hubhub. His wife is gorgeous !! Hahaa . . My kimchis is all self made by his wife. So nice of his wife, knows I loves to eat Kimchi.

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What a busy/rainy day! Had to run around office and head office to clear underwriting for my production for March hahaaa. . . otherwise later april my financial curve becomes a valley. Finally! Cleared !!!

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Haven got the time to catch up with alot of friends, Holly, she is back from HKG, no chance to hear about her HKG fun happenings yet. . .

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My hubhub; I miss that fellow. Hope he is working hard and making his effort. I love you that smelly fellow de lar. Scratch you ahhhhh . .. .. . .

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Prayers: I love you my smelly hubhub, God take away his procastination and take away the self deceiving pattern in him. Blah . . . . He just like to lie to himself, I am worried about his M5 papers. He must be watching his PPS most of the time rather than reading his book :p hhmmmmm . . . .. poke poke poke poke you ah ~ ~ ~ ~

Day 87

Day 87 (Monday)

.Each and everyday, it is day 87 and I know I haven love the man I put close to me any lesser ^^

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.I drafted it into the post of my private space. It is Monday another exciting week ahead with more trials and tribulations. We have to understand that living the path with Christ is to pull through all crisis with a mind and heart to praise even when we are in difficult situations. During financial downturns or crisis; I lift up my hands, praise and live by faith. I smile with my heart during challenging times of my life because I know God is there for me to lift all my worries. With the words of God I ate everyday, I know God wants his child to be strong, tough in faith and bind in his words like a collar. In return he makes us Always the head and never the tail. Because Jesus is here to break all curse of poverty, give hope in life, heal the sick and broken hearted. I hold closely onto the faith I have in my loving heavenly father, learn to good as like what I've learn

I had a letter from God which says:

Trust with all your heart, bind kindness, righteous and never let loyalty leave you; You will find favor with human and God. You will earn a good reputation. Learn from me where wisdom will fill your heart and knowledge will fill you with Joy, wise choices will watch over you. Understanding and wisdom will keep you safe. Hold tight onto me when you are afraid and I will take away all the fear in your heart. Bring all the difficulties you faced into my hands and I will teach you how to walk through it. I am always by your side. You can rely on me. I love you my child.

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This is one of the letter written in my prayers' journal during one of my quiet time, after praying in spirits this is what was taken down.

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Prayers: I pray that you speak to my love and guide him through like how you does for me. Teach him what to do like how you teaches me to. Embrace him like how you bind peace onto me. Make him the head and never the tail from inside out and never the other way round. Grace

Day 86

Day 86

Once This encounter,

This experience,

This love touches you,

you know HE is one True God HE will love you and stay Faithful to you.

He teaches you what to do, guide and gives you instructions when you are lost.

The one and only God whom he will love you and care for you.

It is an exponential experience and relationship with our heavenly father.

I enjoy spending my time with God; skeptics may think " Well you are just getting emotional "

There is nothing to preach about, JUST Experience it yourself and you will find true peace, protection and provision.

I am even more skeptical than SO MANY of you guys once

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God gave me my 1st Gift last Christmas :

I experienced peace in front of the situation I came across last Dec.

God gives peace in me,

I should feel grieve and hounded with agony when I come face to face with such situation last year.

I didn't tear, nor did I feel that my life is treated so unfairly.

I was given the Gift of Forgiveness right on the spot.

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I truly thank you Lord for being my redeemer.

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Prayers: Thank you God for the letter you have given to me. It is amazing and I know father lord you are always beside me. Father God please protect the man I love as I lift everything into your hands. Lord you molded my life in your way, shall Father God you mold his life in your way too. Protect his heart and keep him away from harm. Give joy in his heart and make him a true maximised man in time to come. Let him find Love, be great and walks on life with a true happy heart. I love this man alot, chooses to love him with all I can even though he will never be by my side anymore. I know and understand that this is one love God you gave it to me, you allow it to be locked my heart for a reason. I will walk on my life giving blessings and prayers to the one and only *smelly* I have. I will love this man for my lifetime and no one elses anymore.

Day 85

Day 85 is all about children
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I woke up immediately after my alarm went off, it was 8am in the morning. I wanted to press on the snooze mode but jumped out of bed instead. I do not know why my mouth just spoke; thank you holy spirit. I headed off to teach. God blesses me well, 4 new students signed up for classes with me after the 1st trial classes. The parents are really impressed with the way I teach, as I often ask the parents to sit in for the lesson to observe the way I teach ^^ I realised love and passion for kids is my ministry of act that is sweet aroma to God. I love my students and they love me. I am anointed to teach and have a flair love for children.

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Baby delication

In christian life of City Harvest whenever a child is born, parent usually delicate their love fruit into God's hands for blessing. A child of a christian parents are not christians by default when it comes to our church. We believe that God will touch the child in his ways, and the child will only be baptism when they are old enough to encounter the relationship with God themsleves.

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We have 200 babies for dedication today. I looked at how Pastor Kong blesses the babies on the stage, something touched my heart and I started tearing. I realised I will never have a baby of my own and I can never be mother. As I looked at those cute little fruit of love carried so tenderly in the arms of their parents, I asked God in my heart; will I even have a chance to have my own fruit of love? My tears went running non stop. . . . . . My regulars will know my greatest wish is to have a baby, a baby as my fruit of love. Him my love is as good as dead, I expect nothing from him, expecting only bring me more hurts and wrecks in life. All I can is to love him from far.

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Cldie came in the hall after that with a bouquet of flowers. She just did some wedding shoots. My heart spoke again to God, why do you have to poke at me again? Make me feel sad again; everyone is getting married right and I know I never will.

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Had been receiving so many wedding invitations this year. I am not trying to say that I am jealous seeing people getting happily hitched to the man they intend to walk their lifetime with. I am really happy for them, especially for some whom I know that they really love each other so much, they got married because want to and not because they have to. But Seeing more weddings only makes me feel, Yes, I will never have that moment in my life. Maybe only in my dreams, so . . .. dream on . . . . . . . as this will never happen in reality for me.

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Prayers: God I put the man I love in your hands, bless him with love and walk him through the greatness I might not be able to see, give him wisdom to walk through decision making, be with him as I love him and binds him closely to my heart. To love from far and to wish him my greatest.

Day 84

Day 84
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I was on MC for the day due to my flu. But I still headed back to head office, and Toa payoh office till 8pm today. Managed to fix a few appointments for the coming week etc. Rushed off for an appointment in Chua Chu Kang to meet up with an old friend. I am very amazed with her, pretty incredible I should say. We chatted till early morning 3am before we headed home. I was dead beat + flu, I prayed to God for strength in work the next day.

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Rehma for the day; I was so dead tired for the day, have got a few appointments for the coming week, big and small cases, I prayed to God to lead me along and make me a fruitful servant. And this verse in Deuteronomy came to me ; my hair stood up when I read it ;Deut 1: 17 Hear the cases if those who are poor as well as rich, be fair in your treatment, dont be afraid to anger someone, for the decision you made is God's decision. Bring me any cases that are too difficult for you, I will handle them. At that time I will gave you instructions about everything you will to do. Just do it as how I speak to you in your heart.

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Thank you God !

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Prayers: Bad flu and God please continue to keep my love love healthy. Grace

Day 83

Day 83
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Went to school today, 25% of the class is having flu, ohhh..... I was wearing a mask in class to prevent myself from hitting the flu virus. 25% is alot of people falling sick, we have 700 students by the way. Bryan is finally back in class, went off with bryan after lessons and headed back to office for case submission. Thought of meeting my hubhub after business breakthrough group. Arghhh... I still got hit by the flu bug and the flu symptoms is getting from bad to worst. I decided to call him only after I get home. As I do not want to pass my flu virus to him, he needs a healthy body. Love him so much how can I pass my flu virus to him even though I really miss him soooo much my love hubhub. ^^ Going to bed.

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Prayers: God please protect my hubhub with a healthy body. ^^

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Hubhub: I have never blame you for the past. Through you I learned what true forgiving is, my heart enlarged and grew more gracious. I learned paitence and learn what is truly like to love someone. The someone is you. Although I cannot have you by my side, but my heart for you, you will know that you will still have all of me even when we are apart. You occupied all of my heart and I dont know how to empty it away. Do you know that its blessful to love you and I have never regretted loving you ^^

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亲亲宝贝，我爱你的啦，我不会伪装，也不会逃避我那一颗那么爱你的心。我很肯定我的心不会再为别人而打开，其实我已经打算用我这辈子远远的爱你。我不想给你压力也不想再期待。我只想在你知道我一直都在，就在你离开的那个角落，一直默默的站在那里，帮你打气，为你祈福，要你快乐，要你幸福! 你问我该找个人约约会。告诉你一个小秘密；每当有男生想约我，想试试发展，我都会很老实微笑的说，我心里有一个我会爱他一辈子的男生。我也对他们说；这就应该是爱人的方式，我相信包容，原谅，接受。一当你遇上了你就会之道有一份爱，它会陪你走过一辈子。我很幸运我找到了!

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。我原谅了，接受了，才发现我还是一样的爱你。^_^ I believe this is the greatest beauty of love I have ever encounter ^-^ Thank you baobei ~`~

Day 82

Day 82 Wednesday

I bought a new pink music carousal ^^

.I was being buzzed by Edwin to get my ass down to Phuture. Rejected it, I am so tired after work today. It is month end closing, I am busy with all my sales closing . . . . . Bible school exams will be coming up soon, all the books thesis will be out. I have to read 10 books in total, they are rather thick books to be exact. . . .Have to finish reading my bible as well, I am only at the 5th book of the bible, Deuteronomy. There are about 80 books to read about in the bible. I better start my revision for exams early. All of a sudden I realised, University studies is nothing with compared to Bible school. Bible school is so so so much tougher. No time for procastinations ! I wish I can have just 1 hr of sleep each day and makes it feels like 8 hrs. hahhaa ! So I can do more things !
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Dear all friends, do buzz me if you are coming for the celebration for Easter ^^ next Saturday.
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I attended the leader's meeting last night and it was a loud bang ~~ our speaker Dr Paul multi billionaire imparting us with the mind to prosper. He will be the mentor for our Business Breakthrough Group together with Eng Han to lead us into prosperity mindset. We are the marketplace people and we need guidance to be in the righteous way of prosperity. Thank God for prospering me. I am so excited to give more for my tithe coming month because I will be having a fat paycheck! I want to build God a great house, so knowledge of financial prosperity can spread to more people! Thank you God! I can pay for my family holiday as well.
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The bible says; in 1Kings: when you seek god's kingdom first and follow his golden words, wisdom and knowledge is imparted; in return, you shine in the market place with that knowledge. When you shine in the marketplace, how can you not prosper? Prosperity doesnt come in 2 or 3 folds. It comes in 30 folds, 60 folds and 100 folds. That is what King david does, so do King Solomon. They are poor kings from start, but God never shortchange them when they love God and is willing to be the vessel for lord.

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我的亲亲.

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我的可爱亲亲宝贝!他会说: 我最喜欢欺负你了啦! ^^ 想你的哪!!! 臭臭 ~~~

。我想你宝贝，想要一看见你就像树熊一样跳到你身上去。最爱就是你了啦 ! 重来都没有少爱你半点! 我每天都在为你祈祷，要你有一份平静，心乐和健康的身体。最近的天气好坏，多吃vitatminC and boost up your immunity system alright. Wife wife love you.

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Prayers and Grace

Day 81

Day 81 Tuesday
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Another day has passed, yet another day without him. I saw the bouquet dried flowers in my champagne flute. ^^ its my birthday bouquet hubhub got for me in 2008. That was the first and last time I've received flowers from him. Anyway, that doesn't matter, I dont really fancy flowers.

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I miss that stupid smelly smelly who doesnt even know how to fix the toilet bowl seat. Continue loving him tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and many many tomorrows. ^^ I believe he will think I am the silliest woman he had ever met. The silliest and the one he always bullies. Because he knows, no matter how time goes by, my heart still stayed unmend from where he left. I have no power to retaliate against him as I love him too much and he is my biggest weakness.

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Taking a nap, I am so tired. I have to run for my appointment later and rush off for my violin orchastra practice with Hautt. Zz.z.zzzzz.zzz .....................

Day 80

Day 80

That is what I do everyday during my quiet time with God. Speaking in spirits, praises and worship as well as praying for the well being for love ones. Thank God no more backache! I am perfectly good and bumppy now ! God tie all these proverbs round my neck to remind me to be good. To be true to other and not be a hypocrite. Cast away the deceptive tongue which lie and cast away all evil from my heart. Cast away the lustful thoughts I have in mind, cast away all the selfishness in me. This gives me peace to my broken heart and taught me not to fall into the trap for revenge for the one I love so much. I continue to love my hubhub at this far distance with no agenda or hidden intention. I just love this man, I do not ask for returns. All I wish for is him being good and happy, contented and well blessed.

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I saw Pastor Kong looking at this hot chick who walks past the stage and sat on the 1st row of the audience seat. Pastor Kong smiled wide open, waved at her and said; How sweet, and that's my lovely wife for the past 20 years, she is so cute ^^

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Prayers: Thank god for the healing, and financial blessings once again. Father Abba, please bless my love hubhub financially and move in his life. Take away the seduction mind of him which causes temptations and make him focus on his goals. Grace.

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My baobao, you are always the one and only man in my heart, soul and body. I love you chou chou ^^ I know I cant never fall in love again with somebody else. But at least I can be in-love with you this lifetime at a distance watching ^^ I will be always praying for blessing for you. I love you and I always do.

Day 79

Day 79
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Time flies and it is day 79 since we parted, I am another day nearer to my big day on day 88 ! I spent whole of Sunday in work at City Square and bumping onto alot of friends indeed. I am doing my drums demo at a roadshow for the music school I am teaching in ^^. Definitely I have a great way with kids. I am suffering from very bad backache and I pray for healing. I cant swim for nuts in such cold weather. Argh..... I haven been swimming for 4 days. . . .

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Headed off for work appointments during the evening. Praise to lord, another close case ^^

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Prayers: God I pray for a healthy body for my hubhub, may he never to suffer those backaches or shoulder ache as I do. God please heal him and give him a healthy body to achieve great things in life. I love him, God please send angels to protect him from all harm.

Day 78

Day 78
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没有宝贝的78天，

今天见到了他，

也抱抱了他，

我那头发长长的臭宝贝。

臭宝贝。

爱你的啦，你丑丑还是臭臭，

我都是那么爱的!

我没有变，因为我选择爱你!

你重来都不会相信，

我会爱你很久，很久 。 。 。

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Met alot of friends at Zirca for the Cleo Bach event, someone asked me this ; wah ! the current gf of ur ex is skinnier than you. lolx I was laughing about it when they told me they bump onto him and this skinny girl on-set. I have no insides of this and it is none of my business as well ^^ hahaa

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I had a great time with my gang ! I love them and they loves me! They are there for me during the lowest point of my life. Yeah! I love you guys! Allen/Stanley gege, Perry/Sherry, ^^ !

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Prayers: God enlighten my baobei and give him wisdom to understand his exam topics. I love him. I love him good and I love him lousy. I accepted him and I know he will be the man in life no matter may he be by or not by my side. ^^ Ai lao gong de la ^^

Day 77

Day 77
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It is an extremely long day for me. I thank god for lifting me up and giving me strength to accomplish what I have to do today. In Business Breakthrough meeting as well as work commitments. Submitted 2 new cases today, signed another new case and opening of a new investment case in the evening after BBG. I believe that when we open our door to God, God moves and open many other doors for us. Imagine how intensive it is today, yet so many things accomplished. My clients are amazed to see the change in me, God moves when we move. They initiated to hear the good news from God to break our curse in poverty and bring us to prosperity.
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Congrats to Elim for the Forbes magazine interview ! Woohhhhhhhhhhhhh..................... more and more of our BBG members are getting in the the FORBES ! We will all make it to Forbes one day ! It take time, one by one and as time goes by, we will be seeing more of us going for Forbes conference.

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Prayers: God please move in the life of my beloved hubhub like how you move in mine. Ignite the goodness of him and cast away all those evil thoughts he has. Teach him the good in your way and guide him to the path where doors of success is there for him to open. I love him, and I want him to be happy in a peaceful and great way. Let joy last in his heart and not temporary. I pray for him and I pray for him.

Day 76

Day 76
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Met 2 new friends today during audition today. 2 young adults from Ps Aries zone. ^^ a pair of very cute and sweet male and female. Got to power nap abit for prayers meeting later. No wonder Genecia say SOT students are warriors of determinations and faith. Now I understand why.

Thursday (Pass midnight): Prayers meeting 1.30am - 4.30am, bible sch 8am - 1pm, meeting with daddy kong at 2pm, Business Breakthrough group at 7.30pm, work apt at 9.30pm. My thursday is so freakingly packed.!

Friday: Morning bible school, calling afternoon in office and I need to meet dearest Mag !

Saturday: full day at suntec city for my music school kids workshop. Church service and work appt after that.

Sunday: Children workshop full day, and as usual I have to swim on Sunday evening like I do every week.

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In the meanwhile lets enjoy this :

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I love the whole world and I love you la smelly chou chou ! I want to challenge you to catch wawa next time.. . . hahhaaa . . . . Wait till the 2 couple get home from their honeymoon Rome trip. Blahhhh. . . . I collected alot of Gold coins already.

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Prayers. Grace

Don't ever worry about what others say you are to me, because you will never be anything less than my world ^^

Day 75 Prayers

I had an intensive prayers meeting early this morning:
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Hubhub is on the whole of my prayers list.
1. I pray for his well-being
2. Peaceful Good night rest
3. Rightful body clock habits
4. A clear mind to handle difficult situations
5. Rightful amount of nutrients intake for his body
6. Wisdom to understand the exam topic
7. Lesser of distractions for his achievements in goals
8. An open heart to receive when God calls to heal his heart in miraculous ways
9. Knowledge to differentiate good and bad
10. The conscious to stay away from temptations which harms his body
11. Power to reject the wrongs and determinations to do the right
12. The heart of he's to know that no matter what happen, not to worry, I am always here
13. God to guide him and lift him up from difficult situations
14. To show guidance in his path
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Too many to list down . . . . . . . . . .
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Anyway, no matter what happen, while months and years may pass, dont worry I will be always close to you, wishing the best I can and doing whatever it is possible for me. Love is not about legalisation, nor it is control, it is about giving the best for you even you are not by my side. Blessing and praying for you with a pure heart to care. I believe time will not stand in my way. It is not about the vow I gave to make you the last man in my life but a heart to love you irregardless of time.

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Grace

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Do take great care of yourself my love; there is no need to worry about me as I am in absolute good hands of God. Sometimes when you think that I mad or too involved in my biblical studies, in fact I am learning a way of life in many many virtues. Meeting so many people from all over the world who shares the same theological believes as I do. CEOs, CCTV producers/directors, designers, executive, businessman, elderly granny/grandpa at age 75, retirees, secondary school students and walks of all lives. Genecia told me, Bible school is a turning/breakthrough point and I trusted her. We are not a brainwashing cult. We are a breakthrough group of warriors in construction. We need to be cut, IN a CORRECT way in order to breakthrough our glass ceiling. The correct way is through discipline, virtues, and determination to do the good and not the lousy worldy way. Most importantly, is a heart filled with peace, faith and believes, Yes nothing Is impossible. My dad did the impossible for accepting me and my change.

Day 74

Day 74

。
今天是超累的，
星期一，相往常一样，6 点就起床了。
开车上课，累到爆!
心情超坏，心也一阵一阵的痛。
没有他的第74天。
常有人问我，该是时候谈谈恋爱了啦，
我总是回答，我心以没力气，
那颗被残杀过的心，以不属于我的。
我再也不敢去触动她。
只要轻轻的触摸，她就会流泪。
今天有很多的感伤，
也有很多的害怕。
上课时，牧师要我们面对我们的恐惧。
脑海里出现的影像就是他。
我很害怕，也哭了，他是我永远都抹去不了的恐惧。
我以为，我可以在时间的带动下，慢慢的放下，
可原来，时间对我来说起不了多大的作用。
我老早都已经原谅了他了，
原以为原谅了就是放开，
可是我错了。
我了解我自己，心里也没有一点的怪他。
一心只祈祷他会快乐。
可能这就是真正的爱吧。
没有他的日子还是要一样过，
就像往常一样，
祈祷你健康，快乐。
不知道这是好事或是可悲，
就是有一个很强的预感，我这一辈子都摆脱不了你在我身上留下的痕迹。
一辈子都不能忘了我爱他的那一颗满是伤痕的心。
希望明天的心情会好点。
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Prayers: Pray that you will never encounter this type of not ever on recovery kind of agony I am walking on in your life. It is too painful and endless. It is tough to get up, needless to say walk. But I put my heart out and I pray for a fruitful and beautiful life ahead of you as you take every step forward. I am always here wishing you well.

Day 73

Day 73

This is not a concert, its our awesome church service.

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I know I will receive critics when I decided to put this video up.

Anyway the video is so awesomely done up.

It is limited for what a church can do to reach out to the world and decrease poverty.

Our goal of building God a house of greatness is not about walls and bricks.

We want to build new disciples within the 15,000 capacity wonderful house of god in the Marketplace,

We outreach the knowledge of prosperity.

It is a bigger picture,

using millions of dollars to build a place to share the news of prosperity in the marketplace,

to change life of Trillions.

We believe in teaching disciples to fish rather than to give fishes to them.

Hoping that the knowledge and action will manifest.

I dont want to comment much about that,

Let my testimony end of the year be evidences of the greatest transformation ever in my life.

A life example will cast out all doubts.

^^

Asia Conference

Widely involved in the Asia Conference.

I am on the Pageant not for the whatsoever fame nor whatever.

Pageant category has its age band of 18 - 26

Therefore I better do it before I am too old for that after July.

^^

Heading off for music lessons . . . . . .

Day 71

Day 71 ( Thursday)
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Overslept, Late for SOT. Argh. . . . . I have to wash toilets . . . . ~.~ Nevertheless it is a wonderful day to praise! Had my business breakthrough group meeting today. A group which started off with 5 bankruptcy, previously this group is named the Bankrupt businessman Group. Years later, this BBG grew for 5 bankruptcy to 200 members of the same situation, but the differences now, they are no longer bankruptcy but million and billionaires. A good thing for me, I learn from them, applying the word of knowledge and faith to prosper my business. What we do in this BBG, we apply the golden words of bible in a cosmopolitan way, a way of faith god has plant in us. We serve a great God, A great God who uses our hands to help others. How to help when we are needy ourself? Listen to god's Rehma in the marketplace and he will prosper us by giving us knowledge to it, use this wealth God gave us and impart it to prosper others. When we build God's kingdom and put him first before anything, he give more than enough for our household.

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We always see the good side of wealth CHC has, but the dark side of struggles our members has before they prosper no one knows. In us, we learn this, attitude builds character and your attitude creates your altitude.

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Prayers: I know my hubhub always has this good attitude in learning. But he always say only but never action. God please push him around, provoke him and put him into action. Exercise the good attitude and make him a better man of word. Blessing him and loving him like I do everyday. Day 71.

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Forgiveness brings peace and love. I thank God for greatness of forgiveness he plants in me through hubhub. Forgive and love means I am willing to love him faraway from his imagination how long it may be. I am a man of word, I will not break my vow. I want to love my chou chou. Just him alone. and with just me alone. ^^

Day 70

Day 70 Wednesday
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Hahaha . . . . . I am super energetic today, lessons early in the morning. I was jumping around like a clown of joy during lessons. I love you Evelyn ! You stuffed my fridge with all your Bacsi Chocolates of Love. I was taught forgiveness and love co-exist. Some people resent bitterness in them because they dont forgive. I went through the practical with God on forgiveness. A true life experience on field and having face on situations. Thank you God, he passed me on forgiveness last Christmas and make peace in my heart. * show the victory handsign * I love you de la super smelly, more than enough of love to stand on ur position, in order to understand and forgive.

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Holy Laughter

Went for overnight prayers meeting from 9pm - 3am with Enghan and Janet. I was hit badly by the spirit laughter of joy. I was laughing so crazily hard during our prayers meeting I cant stop. I was the one who started it. Laughing is contagious, I ended up making everyone laughing with me for so long. Julie even fell onto the floor laughing. I went short of breath laughing for no reasons. Indeed weird. There are things we can't comprehend unless you yourself go through it. hahahahaaaa...........

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One thing,

Imagine my mum and dad. . . . . so anti-christian being . . . . . they accepted me being one and is attending my water baptism ceremony. Especially dad. . . unbelievable. He didnt object. Praise lord, we didnt even have debates over that. My dad lei . . . . So unbelievable. I think that is how God moves.

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Prayers: *Ting ting ting ting ting* Do not know why I am so joyful today. Nothing happened actually, I didnt close a million dollar deal. Just a simple joy inside me. I pray to God, please let my hubhub discover such joy in him as well. I love him, I want him happy.

Day 72 in advance

Day 72 in advance - The situation under attack
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I would like to blog the current feelings down and the things God has in my life.
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Its Friday today, I skipped my biblical lessons in the morning. I was resented with bitterness and fear early in the morning. I woke up angry and fearful of what is going to happen today. My whole heart is occupied with bitterness of my past with my love, I rage out the past miserable pain I went through. I stood up for a while with a voice in me saying. Just drop out of SOT. You are not in a good condition for bible school. Bible school students should not resent in bitterness. You are a liar a person with no truthfulness when you talk to Ps ming yesterday. You are a liar.

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I kept quiet and touched my heart. The holy spirit speaked, pray to God, pray to God . . . . . You are undergoing a spiritual attack. Immediately I speak out in tongues and eventually said ' blind you away, you evil spirit of bitterness ' in the name of Jesus. I walked towards my player and turn on the praises and worship.

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I started singing praises for God. I reached out for my bible and carried it close to my heart. I cried out to God. God please give me faith, give me faith, teach me what to do. Inteprete my situation and give me an answer, give me a direction. With my eyes closed, I opened up the bible. God spoke to me.

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Job 34:30

Whether it is against a nation or a man alone?

That the actor hypocrite should not reign,

Lest the people to be ensnared.

34: 32

For I have borne chastening,

I will offend no more.

Teach me what I do not see;

If I have done iniquity; I will do not more.

You must choose it now and not I.

Therefore speak it out now of what you know.

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I speak out the verse immediately, repenting and ask for forgiveness. I asked for the blood of Jesus to clean me off the evil thoughts I have this 2 days. Those lustful thoughts in me. Release them off me. I told God to teach me, guide me off those I do not see. My God is a great lord, Kings of Kings, Lord of Lord. He loves me, He loves me and I know. He is always so close to me.

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I went back normal, back to the person of forgiveness, blameless, and love. I prayed to God and give thanks for the Reama. It is this qualia God has with me everytime, everymoment. If you will to ask me why in Christ after other believes. This is why, because mighty God teaches you through many ways, tell you how and gives you directions. There is no other God in the world, who you can love and he loves you back. He listens to you, speak to you in trinity ; God, Holy Spirits, Son. Teaching you and planting all the good seeds in your heart. Body, soul and mind.

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Prayers: Thank god for the guidance back to the pure heart and away from evil resentful blaming. God please shine light onto my love, he knows nuts about you. To him you are just a religion cult. A crazy cult who make people gives money to build this and that. Because I know God, we are not a religion, we are children of yours, children you love and children you want to build relationship with. Children you want to see us prosper in abundance, so you can use our hands to bless others. God wants to see all his children rich, in wealth and in heart. God cannot make use of a beggar to bless others when the beggar himself is so needy. Through God words, he will bring abundance to us so he can use the wealth he gives us to do great deeds, reach out to others and needy. God cannot use our hands to bless the poor when we are poor ourself.

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Touch him your way and bring him on the path to prosper. Prospering in wealth, health and career. God have your way with him. ^^ I love him, please manifest the goodness in his heart, he is never a bad person to start with. Give him the power for self-control over the naughty *chou chou* wiggling in him.

Day 68 - 69

Day 68 Monday
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Another start of a week. I woke up feeling fresh and happy early in the morning. Its time to stroll down the riverbank again. Had a whole day of course. Each and everyday, I am being taught to live life with faith and greatness. Rather to say that I am getting spiritual in bible school Theology, but in fact I enrolled into this school to search for a greater meaning in life. The good ways in life hopefully to deliver out the obstructions I have in me. The pain, hurt and bitterness which is buried but never heal. I am there in bible school to release myself. Learn forgiveness, protect my heart and to seek faith in daily life. You might ask me why do I enrol myself into such school? Am I getting too spiritual or holy? The truth is, I've encountered the touch of Holy spirit. Amazingly unbelievable. I told The father, son and holy spirit that I wouldnt believe it until It touches me. And he did. Being touch by the holy spirit comes in many reactions.

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1. You fall backwards and stay unconscious
2. You laugh non-stop - they call this the holy laughter
3. You cry non-stop
4. You cant stop trembling
5. You vomit

. I encountered 3/5.

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Prayers: I pray to god to operate the heart of my hubhub, Skew him towards the good. I do not need him to be by my side. I just want to shower goodness of blesses onto him. I have used up all my love in him which I am left with no love for others anymore. God all I ask for is, please protect my hubhub. I love him.

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Day 69

Our holy temple - the physical body

I have been keeping my body scarce since the last time my hubhub and I got close. Whenever you decide to keep your body at a clean shape, you realise temptation will rise. Its normal body reaction where you will get horny at times. To cast away such temptation, firstly no alcohol and secondly is to make yourself away from scandalous people. Those people who will try every possible opportunity to have a chance to get close to you. There are alot of such people around. To them sex is just a release of their sexual pleasure. I do not want to be like that.

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Our body is so precious. I have learn to protect it well, keep it for the only one I love and no one else. Our body should not be treated casually. That is what makes the difference. If you love your body enough, how can you let any Tom dick and harry have a share of it ? I have did this silly mistake years back and such mistake will never repeat.

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I really have to take my hat off some friends I have. They are really do this so well. My favourite boy is one of them. In which that is what I love about him, self control and the will to inforce it in a right way. He always give of a sense of Aurora, for so many years. I didnt dote him in vain. Just that recently he is pretty upset for the comments people leave in him about his looks. lolx. Edison chen downgraded. * pat av's back * its ok. Jiejie still love you, hope you enjoyed the dinner ^^.

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Prayers: Grace

Day 66 - 67

Day 66 Saturday

It was an usual Saturday, woke up early and teaching. An exciting day of the week. Today is the day we will see where our building for Arise and build.

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I happened to see someone familiar today with Celest. It's Bryan, lolx. I am surprise to see him. After while it has been a year since I last met him. I remembered his Chicken Wings at baobei's chalet. To recall, that period of time is the worst time of my life. That was April 2009 when my hubhub and I first parted with the hit that left me a broken heart and made me broke down mentally. It is coming a a year when that incident happened. Last year was a dramatic year and the worst year of my entire life so far. It is also a year when life seems to be like a rollor coaster ride throughout. A year I learned forgiveness, patience, generosity and learn what is love all about. Generous in a wrong way, a way which causes myself to breakdown. It is over, I have already forgive. It is just the bitterness soul in me in which I really need a closure even till now.

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Prayers: Today I pray for the self-control for my hubhub. A conscious control he can empower in life. I love him and he is like a part of me. God please bless him.

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Day 67

Edmund is so adorable and I can't help but to hug him everytime I sees him. He got a cupcake for me. Pink Cupcake and he told me : Teacher Seven here's a cupcake for you. Later when you are hungry, you can eat it after swimming. He is so so cute. I love my students !!!!!

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Sunday is a swimming day. ^^

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Prayers: Dear heavenly father, please drop time bombs in the life of my hubhub to guide him off procrastinations. I love him.

Day 65

Day 65 (Friday) Thats fast, today is day 65 without him.
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I woke up early in the morning but I didnt attend SOT, my gum is swelling so badly I couldn't help but to skip it. I attended the dentist and it was freaking $250/- at Q&M, But doctor Alex is great. I just feel kind of painful for my wallet, $250 for my teeth. I had a few injections in my gums in fact.

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Got done for the day and headed down Parkview for some nice quiet time. Swarm 20 laps, it's great !

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and

my impomtu calling : Eh how are you "mingshun" ? Starting to miss you already.

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Lets start again tomorrow , 7am in the morning, with no painful gums !

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Prayers: For the one and only him hubhub, I pray for no sore throat and cough for him. No headache nor backaches for him. Pray for great health. He is never off my mind. I still love him as much everyday.

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I am willing to accept defeat but never give up without putting all my best as time goes by. ^^ I miss watching him behind his back.

Randoms of Day 61

Randoms of day 61

Work goals of Paris,

something I have to always myself of.

My corner of prayers and worship,

my quiet time at home.

I do not have the smelly turtle anymore.

I've decided to let it RIP

In return, I am cuddling my Big Hot pink heart everyday and now Pinky Heart has a new companion.

His new companion is call Hello Kitty.

My room turns into a cozy place and the best place for my talk with heavenly father everyday.

I am adding on some nice couches my dear friends and visitors is going to enjoy.

I am still that anal, I do not allow anybody to sit on my bed, YES thanks, needless to say lie on it.

I can count with just 3 fingers who are the ones who sat or lie on my bed before for 25 years of my life. Inclusive of myself.

Day 61 - 64

Day 61
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1st day of SOT. started off with my first day and I met great and wonderful people like Evelyn, Serene and Ashley. We started our day early with praise and worship, making the holy spirits fill our heart to its brim. Some got touch and started tearing, some received the joy and started laughing madly during the 1st day of SOT. It sounds really weird, but what I can conclude, you will never understand how I feel when you dont experience it yourself. God is good and God is Great. I never forget to pray for my love hubhub and told God that he is a good man, so please lookafter him, please take care of him as I commit the one I love with all my heart into God's hand.

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Headed off back to office to fulfill my evening appointment at Toa Payoh. I was so drained, never woke up as early as 6am in the morning for the longest period of time. I was so shagged but thank god, my appointment is a fruitful one.

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Prayer: Back home at 11pm, drained and tired, pray to god, God please be there for my hubhub during his difficult times, talk to him through his heart and help in get to the right way of path. Bless him financially and teach him through experiences and challenges he is going to face. I love this man, everyday and each day.

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Day 62

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I had a fresh wonderful morning walking along the riverside at 8am as I had my quiet time with God this morning before I head down for my SOT. The river is calm and peaceful, I look at the early morning reflections through the water and I told God, Thank you for bringing me and lifting me up.

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As usual, after SOT, I headed back to office for callings and followups. My day is fulfilling and I am learning to pick up a routine God wants me to do in work.

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Prayers: Lord heavenly father, please shower your grace onto my hubhub. Protect him with angels of greatness, and bind away the devil of selfishness, bind away the devil of greed in him. I love my hubhub and he will never leave my heart.

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Day 63

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Slowly I am getting use of waking up early in the morning. I feel so blessed everyday. Waking up early in the morning, FEELING JOYFUL is blessing from my heavenly father.

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Headed back to Toa Payoh like I do everyday. I meet up with XL for dinner, she was giving tuition nearby. Its nice and see her again. She is a nice lady and no doubt we click on well. ^^ Went off to Eng Han's place later at night along East Coast. Its so happy to see the guys. Stanley, Gene, I am going to miss you guys! Thanks so much for everything, those little gifts, those encouragements. I really do appreciate it.

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Prayers: I've never love this man, my hubhub any lesser although he is not by my side. In return, I pray to God, ask from god to bless this man who is never evil from the bottom of his heart. He is just being tinted by the society. God with bless him with good health and the joy in his heart each day. I love him, my hubhub.

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Day 64

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We had a deliverance today. A special preach which flashes image through my mind. A boy who was not loved by his father since young. He longed for a hug when he was young. I cried when I saw the image. I speak in spirits and prayed. Its okay to receive skeptical remarks from non-believers. It is human, you wouldnt believe it until you feel for yourself. I used to be a stubborn non-believer. My walk with Christ starts when I was touched personally. I encountered it. Thats is why I believe. Dont be rude lor, I got ask my God to protect you and help you de ok. To all my dear friends, I not only pray for my hubhub everyday, I got pray for you all de lor. Even if you guys dont know my god, I also ask my god to help you de ok.

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Stalker

Something happened today, I told a friend of mine that I wasnt free today as I have my Business Breakthrough Group (BBG) meeting located at Riverwalk. After my BBG I rushed off for my appointment as I suppose to bring a fund switch form to my client's place. Then I received a call, this call from a friend kk. He asked where am I, I told him that I've just finished my BBG and is heading off. He asked if I could meet him up for awhile. I apologised as I said I am rushing off appointment at 10.30pm. After that he said me, he saw me. I went blur . . . . . . . he said he is at riverwalk and wanted to meet me. He saw me in my auditorium in BBG meeting. BTW he is not from my church. Seriously what is he doing at Riverwalk and Looking at me through my auditorium window. OMG, I was freaked out when I heard this. I just went . . . . . dah. . . . Why would someone do this? Moreover some management director of HP. Seriously. . . ? I really cant comprehend this. I really feels like I am being stalk. He will sms me and tell me how beautiful I am. My hair really stands. Praise the lord, he do not know where I stay !

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I love you not for you to repay, not for you to return any favours nor I expect you to love me like how you used to claim; If I do, that is not love anyway . . . Love is to continue loving through time and I realised I've never stop loving because every moment " I keep you close to my heart " and You haven't leave a single bit.

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TBC . . . .

Day 61 ( Brief )

Day 61 onwards School of Theology
. Just a summary Before i forget feelings to journal it.
. Lots of things to learn, to doctorine and feel

1. Determination - to bring your physical up everyday at 6am without fail. Cant be late for school cos you will wash all toilets. The building has 8 levels by the way.
2. Praise the lord, I am never late and always 20 mins early.
3. Early morning happiest is the greatest thing on earth.
4. Squeezing MRT can be real fun.
5. Being touch everymorning by holy spirits is amazing. You tear, you have visions, you fall upon the swept off by holy spirits
6. Endurance to serve others in all situations
7. Faith to pray and discipline yourself when you feel tired, your soul that craves for god's words lift you up.
8. I run all my appointments, BBGs, bible study on top of everyday 8 - 5pm Theology school. Grace to be with God. I will be working on the Asian Conference coming next month as a musician and children musical. I will be working with Vaness Wuuuuuuu . . . . In fact I just want to hear his testimony and how he is his sharing like.

Continue someday . . . 61 - 63 I need sleep and my quiet time with God. Ciao.

Prayers: I love my hubhub, prayers and prayers for him. Faith and believe in my hubhub. Discipline is something I pray for him today. God please discipline his routine and make his lifestyle a rewarding one. I love him, father God please protect him.