Day 336
I found my first love once again with Jesus Christ. Falling deeply in love with Him all over and over again. I didn't understand this at all in the past. Now, not only I understands, I see it, I feel it and I hear it.
Conviction is more than convincing. Jesus convicted me. Some people say : Seeing is believing.
Jesus did 3 times more for me. Jesus not only let me see it, he let me feel it, hear it and encounter it. Chills man. If seeing is convicing, then seeing, hearing, feeling and encountering can throw you off your chair. * Bioh * Blew off. haahaaa Ye'shu Bewasha In Bahagsa Indonesia is Jesus you're the best!
I went to dig for Oysters with chou chou at Punggol. Chou chou ~ ~ ~ For a short of 2 hours, sometimes a selfish part of me will wish that he will be able to piggyback me *(like how he did yesterday across the waters so I dont get my shoes wet.) for my life and never to leave my life.
To submit to God's will, I should stay an obedient child to God who really knows what is the best for me. Wait for His timing, when the right word, right timing and right person appear. I dont want to stumble in my relationship anymore.
I know he is so busy lately and he will not look into this space of mine anymore.
Anyway, here's the place chou chou and I went to hunt for oysters.
Time for Oysters hunting
chou chou digging for oysters
Oyster!
Chou chou you know I don't love you because you do this and that for me,
or whatever.
These incentives are just bonuses.
You once said something to me,
I am important to you and your life.
You told me you want me, because you have never realised you wanted someone so much for a very long time.
That was in 2009 July 27, 2 days after my birthday.
and I kept that super long message you sent me even till today.
Seriously I told God,
Father, my chou chou is who you sent to me,
and I cannot leave without fufilling my purpose lord you send to me.
Sometimes I want to run away from that purpose.
It is so much easier for me to run away from it than to face that fact that,
I have to love and care more for this man who dont deserve it.
God showed me to this verse : What is it to love someone who deserve it? That is easy. In the book of matthew I saw Jesus loving the unworthy and undeserve.
Because His love is so great, He restored them back higher and from where they have fallen off.
Each time I feel unhappy I talk to Jesus, I talk to the heros of faith in the bible.
They teach me, so many many things.
They told me about my purpose with God, and they encouraged me not to give up.
Keep my focus on Jesus.
Sometimes when I pray for smelly, I tears.
I start to cry.
Crying out to my Father to restore smelly back.
A soul that knows how to feel.
A soul that do not do injustices to himself and others.
It is not for me nor my good.
I just want the man I love with all my heart and soul to receive real happiness.
To have a life of joy and love.
Whether is that me or not to be with him, it is not my concern.
I just want this man, God gave me to love to be happy.
* * * * * * *
Day 337
I met Jonah today.
The hero of faith in the bible.
A man who only knows how to run away in the bible.
God as him to go west, he runs to the east.
Wherever he ran, God follows him.
We cant hide from God.
God is everywhere.
Especially when you are someone who can hear him.
He appear everywhere.
Jonah was being swallowed by a big Fish which kept him alive.
I was telling Jonah today, he reminds me of Pinocchio.
You can hear Jonah story in the bible old testament ( I almost typed testicles )
Book of Jonah before the book of Micah.
Jonah only had 4 chapters.
It was raining and I was on the move,
( I am not siao la ok, everything happened in my heart, I am not talking to myself verbally)
I was walking while in conversation with Jesus and Jonah at Blackmore drive.
Jonah told me today,
Dont escape from God, he is everywhere, you cant escape from what his purpose is for you.
Promises of God starts flooding my mind which the voice of Jesus.
From Pslms
You shall be like trees planted at the river bank,
and your leaves will not withered,
You will bear fruits each season,
and whatever you do you will prosper.
and
Trust in me,
my Father's promises to you will never come back void or empty.
and
I am the vine and you are the branches. As you abide in me, I abide in you.
and
Trust in me your lord, I cannot go back in what I have promised you.
and
All things work for Good for those who love God called according to his purpose,
I spoke this out:
All things work for Godd for those who love God called according to his purpose.
I can trust in my faithful God.
and I was too engrossed,
I wasnt looking and I almost bumped onto a lamp-post.
I looked up at the lamp-post.
and I said what the lamp-post told me to do.
I blur and speak it out.
God you are so real yet so funny.
Lamp-post,
you are so cute.
and I just said AMEN!
* * * * * * * *
It was dinner time and I went to the Riders cafe for dinner with L.Kong
It was raining and it is still raining now.
By the way the riders cafe smells of Horses.
smelly smelly de.
Horse Pee...
hurhurhur. . . .
And there's a very fat cat sleeping so cozily on the sofa.
This is taken from my Hp la,
so pardon me on the picture qualities.
A very European style cafe restaurant.
Next time jie jie bring you go ok, mountain turtle de Arvin.
I bring you go mountain hide.
You will wow to see something else there.
hurhurhur
My chou chou, he must have been there before for sure lar,
there a driving range.
Chou is better in hunting places than me anyway.
But I like my chou chou, he is the only one I dare to whine and behave like a little girl.
ARgh...
I miss you even thou you dont miss me.
I am perfectly fine with that.
Really love you de lar * Pinch *
You didnt hug me enough yesterday,
you must put in the shortfall you chou chou.
By the way,
you know God is so good,
he is not like those hypnotherapist who can sub consciously erase my memory of you chou chou away.
Thank you, I didnt erase chou away from my memory,
cause if I really listened to that hypnotherapist,
I might have even erased the wonderful love you gave me baobei.
If I've erase baobao away,
I wouldn't have grow so much wiser.
Love so selflessly,
and receive so much joy and happiness from the awesome God!
God is Good.
God didnt erase the loving memories of you baby,
he just erase away the bad things you did on me.
He erase the bad feelings and scars you left on me,
He opened my heart to give more for you with the no grip of pain of the past,
plus add on of more loving memories.
I only remember how sweet my chouchou is,
and how adorable chou chou is.
How amazing my bao bao is.
My bao bao do love me.
How sweet is God.
Wah..
My God is a good God.!.!
Amen and Good night
God; Thank you for L.Kong he is really a nice guy, the first guy so funny who will want to pay for shampoo for my family. Other than Brian who opens the car-door always for a lady, he is the next one. Sheltered me all the way in the rain even thou I insisted I dont need that, I'm not made of paper. And he walks me till my doorstep and saw my sister. My sis is kind of surprise I guess. Because the only male she sees in my life or will appear at our house is only Hua Zhong and Arvin.
Thinking of Arvin. You know what I want to say, and dont want to repeat myself. Dah . . .
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