A great day out

Had a great shopping and dinning out. I woke up early in the morning and went down to my music school to teach my new student celab violin that hyperactive child is driving me crazy taking a violin bow as a sword, pretty usual for mischievous little boys to do that and contribute to more broken violin bows. Headed down bugis to meet up with Alan for lunch. In the meanwhile waiting, went to some shopping alone and had gotten myself 2 dresses and a pair of heels.

Pasta at shaw centre was worthwhile, reasonable pricings and great taste.

The Giant Rabbit

Saw this giant rabbit at centrepoint pet shop,

Indeed a giant rabbit,

The enormous 4 month old rabbit weigh at around 5 kg

OMG its the size of my baby shih Tzu

Took a picture of that,

But my cell phone's batt is running low and couldnt shw it to you guys.

Met up with Stacy together with Alan at Tangs Studio,

We found ourselves a comfortable area at the mac cafe and start our conversation which lasted for a couple of hours.

Indeed for every met up with Alan there are things to learn from him,

Things he said usually enriched my knowlegde.

We talk about everything which range from

economics to properties to daily applications to life and many more.

We talk about Tsunami, giant waves from fall ice berg which cause elephantine waves which cross to about 100 metres above sea level.

Tsunami wave ranked the 3rd and 2nd are those seen in the movie the perfect storm.

Dinner time

Xian came down to meet up with us after work and i buy her dinner as a belated birthday treat

Xian is doing property and indeed she had got much of valuable advises from Alan and i suppose it should be educational to her.

Thanks my buddies and friends, you guys made great company.

The Face Black Black Fund

The 10 dollars Fund

His words didnt hold, less than 3 days our bet had already been concluded

I have got an pending 200 bucks in my Face Black Black fund.

Today is also the day, he asked me to marry him.

How would i not want to get married to the person i love?

I can tell he is afraid to meet my parents especially my dad

he feels that he cant give me a secure living at the present moment

of course i would want to be the person whom he will to spend the rest of his life with

It wont be easy my dear tong tong,

Living together isnt easy

We have got plenty of love for one another

but patience should be plenty as well

understanding should be plenty as well

We will need to compromise

At the present stage of what we are in,

let build these up bit by bit

In the future there might be better people we meet out there,

a marriage doesnt stop any of us upon meeting these people

more attractive, mesmerising

A marriage doesnt give us any excuse of not falling for more attractive people

Everyone should have the right concept for marriage

its not to hold you on upon searching for the better

but the tell you that you have already gotten who you would think

is the best in your life.

Do and dont

There is alot of things i would want to do and many donts i wouldnt want to persist anymore. I will love myself more and have more things to occupy myself with rather than doing some stuffs which others may find it silly enough for a commoner would want to do and stress over it. I would not want to look into his phone or neither being so worried about whatever things he want to do. It concerns me, but its out of my reach to reform anything i have come to realise it. The more i care, the more unhappy and argument it will just lead us to.

I 'hv come to a conclusion nothing will change. I'll just have to accept it or to leave it. In my case where i have choose to accept it, i'll have to stop anything which will cause more miseries to myself or to others. I do not have the power to do anything about whatever it is.

I have been updating my joy and realise its half gone, may it be crap or nonsense i wrote in there as much as i m concern we cannot compare.

He is doing the best he can and its utterly unreasonable for me to ask for more and more. If that could be the best he does, i should be glad he treats me better than anyone he came across in his life. Learning to accept the flaws and accelerate on the better points he had.

Thats life it would be miserable if one keep comparing with the past and draw a benchmark which makes up to a good or bad. Its up to ones ability. Its up to my ability as well.

All i wish is to reduce any misunderstanding we could possibly have. Try not to pin point onto the bad where initially at the start of the relationship no one would want to do that. Its a personal liking and style one would like to be comfortable with, no rights or wrong. I just hope to move on towards a better future with more selfless and less selfishness in every phase of it.

Why is that so?

Why is that so? Seeing my dear friend suffering and i cant help or do a thing. Why do guys like to jump into a new relationship when the previous one is still hanging in the mid air? Seeing her being so troubled, I told her to leave thats the only thing i can help not to feel hurt further. I know she is hurt, tired and she feels that she is just a life bouy. I really have got no idea how to console her. She said whenever she feels like talking, he says he's tired and do not wish to talk anymore. She had got no idea why she is being entangled into such situation. And it's usually the guy who dont want to be firm and make a decision or outcome to it, they just like to hide, or drag it along. In the end we're left the ones suffering. Indecisive. She is once like me, believe, understands, trust, loving yet the nice ones ended up getting hurt.

From the past till now

Its true that dwelling against the past doesnt heal,

Things had happened

Past tense and done with

All we can do is to change what we have now

instead of desolating what we do not have

Let change and mend the imperfect in the past

We wil have to build our own

With love and care

paitence and understanding

Let it live like never before

Together we will see a graceful ending

Nurture and love it.

Black - Adopted frm sweetzwine

Unhappiness and misery are the least I should bring upon people
be it direct/ indirect..such behaviour should not be tolerate..
Perhaps without my incompetence, they're happier and less frowns..
I'm sorry for being such a trash..I MUST CHANGE..
If all else fail, I fail as a human..
I ought to vanish then..

---

Now i know Im incapable to love .
Insensitive.
Stupid.
LOW IQ n EQ
IMPATIENT
CLUMBSY
SHORT TERM MEMORY.
INTACTFUL with LANG.
HOW USELESS CAN I BE.

FLAWS.FLAWS.FLAWS.

She wants to hide

THE DARKEST HOUR.THE MOST TROUBLING MEMORIES.FEAR. HOPELESSNESS. DESPAIR.

She is hopeless, she cant find the reason to be happy anymore. She just cant stop tearing. She lives in fear where there is no one she could turn to. She no longer dare to dream anymore. To her, to hope and dream is something unreachable.

It was darkness. Her life is no longer colourful what she see is only grey and black. She will just live in her own world, shiver and tremble. She is totally wrecked, physically and emotionally frail. She imprison herself in the world of hers. She has got scars all over her emotional being. Living in solitude world she isolates herself from the constantly moving world. She is left standing alone the pouring rain the tears just cant stop falling. She is defeated like the 5 swords, she stabbed herself hard, but no matter how hard she try to stab, nothing overcomes the fear and emotional pain she had in her. She is left dying. She will just get drown in her sorrows. She dont even have the strength to armoured her up anymore. She will just stand alone in isolation all by herself.

The broken vase

I had a beautiful dream last night, i dreamt that i fell from the balcony of merchant court hotel and i was crushed. That was the night i escape to a solitude world of just myself. I hide myself from everyone around me. Cut off all the contacts. It was so vivid i can feel the moment when i leaped off the platform of the balcony. At that moment my heart drenched i was in a beautiful white dress, i was dolled. I sit alone under the sky of stars looking across its the river and people screaming when they were being threw off the reverse bungee. I remember every single detail. I was in room 132. Sipping my wine as usual tuning onto class 95 on the hotel tv, i started writting non stop on the papers provided. I went to the balcony for a smoke, I pulled the door open, cold wind gust across my dress. I walked up and climbed up the balcony, closes my eyes. I took a deep breath. Opened my eyes i looked up a sky full of stars. I balanced myself on the platform and looked down, all of a sudden i felt freedom. I threw my wine glass down and sees it smashes when it hits the edge of the building, i smiled. The wine splashed all over, i took up my wine bottle and drink it directly from it dazing look across the river at people partying in the club. I smashed my wine bottle against the wall. It brokes it cut my hand, wrist and elbow. Blood flows out, i smiled. I held my wrist harder, blood dripped onto my white flawless dress. I leaped across hoping i will gain freedom and i did.

To and fro and to

Woke up in the morning realised i didnt call to wake my tong tong up, i jumped up grabbed my cellphone and smsed him immediately. Thank god he is awake le. He told me he's going down to office to sign the contact and will be meeting me for lunch and do some shopping together. It was 10am in the morning. I foresee that it will take at least a few hours but tong tong assured me that he can leave after he signed the contact. Well since he put this up i wont want to object him even thought i know its quite impossible to sign any contact without briefing. He is the kind of person, he believed in himself too much and at times wont even take others advise into consideration.

He told me off saying why didnt i tell him that. In my mind i was wondering, would u listen? didnt i told u lets meet at 3?

This suddenly came into my mind. He told me his family has gone no objection for him to stay out late, go drink or what so ever. Hearing his dad nagging at him for drinking so frequently was that so? They told him off ample times, its obvious he just turn deaf ears.

For so many years of naggings for the things he did, did he change? the answer is no. Knowing me for less than a yr, my words do hold a weight in him? I dont dare to say. Sometimes yes and sometimes no.

He feels that I am stupid. I dont say something smart but i say things due to my past experiences. There's quite a number of occasions where he doubt my ability. Those words really do cut. He doubt with my stupidness how the hell i got into the university. He did say that to me. He used to say i use my wit on a different matter. Frankly speaking i dont really wish to use my wit on u. Its real scary when a woman would wan to start to plot and narrates a story.

He can be very loving at times, he's sweet, he pours water for me, pat pat me to sleep, bring me herbal tea, peel da hao da for me and many many more. I really love those time.

He does have his silly times but did he realise did i once complain or grumble about that? He is the kind of person who would want pple to remind him of what is right or wrong, what he can do and what he cant. I wont do that just like how people around you did, I believe you are old enough to think and judge what is to do and not to do. I realised even by saying or telling you what, you wont take into account, so why waste my breathe. You know the pain when you do it, learn from it and not to repeat the same mistake again. So many years of ur parents shouting screaming and stuffs they dont reform you. So bottom line screaming and shouting doesnt help.

I hope i can be the one whom he will really grow up and be a man with. One day he will be sensible enough to tell me and show me, he has reform into a man, a better man who will care and love most importantly to think before he speaks.

I do not know will i be the woman who will be till the end with him but at least for the moment, i just wanna support him and be there for him. Maybe one day god decide to take me away without any warning.

E.G.O

Man with a huge ego

1.cant accept changes
2. cant adapt to environment
3. likes to grumble
4. listen to opinions but does nothing about it
5. turn deaf ears to naggings
6. high expectation of others
7.Give ample reasons for mistakes
8. dont admit they are wrong
9. self centered
10. selfish
11. cannot afford to lose face
12. dependent

Men and women, do u fall into this catergory?

A friendly advise,
A Big Ego makes a fall in many things,
Build regrets,
Its not edible,
Nor its priceless,
Its something not friendly at all.

Hi people, you will definately be more lovable, adorable and likable if you are willing to just reduce a few points i'hv just mentioned.

St James

Taken outside St James power house.
The crowd was surprisingly good yesterday, took a stroll into the boiler room and movita. Great music, but not so great people. Looks unfriendly to me. *Boo*

I was sitting outside power house and noticed a lady puking by herself at the side. Out of goodwill, i offered her some tissue paper. But that wasnt something nice, not even a look up or a thanks when she walked past me. *Another Boo* Super unfriendly crowd. I was wondering why my Tong Tong fancy power house so much.

I met Jas at power house and she asked me did anymore ever mentioned i look like michelle chia. Lol i told her nope, my figure sucks, and i beg she isnt that hairy as i m.

Mei was understanding and she went back home knowing i would want to take care of my tong tong pig.

All together

Maybe all together its a different story. I'hv heard stories of how my male buddies pamper their girl and how the girls show blissful look of happiness being dote by the one they love. Those kind of innocent love whom some of my friends to me is out of reach. My relationships often underline factor of the feel of being threaten.

I saw this :

Thanks for making caring for mi,pampering mi,spoiling mi, perfecting my life with lotsa efforts & surprises ,loving mi wholeheartly!


its so heartwarming they are coming to a year. They are great people, had been quite sometime not seeing them... just to let you guys know, i really miss you people.

Probably its just a different issue all together, maybe he's just not good in pampering his girl. Whenever i see how my friends wrote about their love life, they have got so much of wonderful occasions and surprises from their love. It can be simply a late night supper surprise. The coca cola surprise fridge from ping to sammi, a cold remedy hot tea in the middle of the night which cure every illness during a flu. I longed for the feeling to be pampered once again.

I do appreciate the piggy love pillow, the mama and baby gui gui, the effort he made to send me back, the time we spend usually either in a pub or at home, the time we used to stroll along his estate. I do love surprises, usually he gave me shocks more than surprises. When was the last time i was really pampered. Being pampered like a little girl.

Being with him coming towards our 6th month, there is alot of things i would want to do. Like bringing him to visit my " Yi yi" in the zoo, the gui gui and dugong at Sentosa, sitting with him at the most southern part of singapore closest to the milky way to admire the stars, catching a gimpse of fireflies, visiting a goat farm, fish for prawns, catching guppies at pasir ris park, feeding little tortoise at the botanical garden, breathing the fresh air in a park early in the morning, accompany auntie to the market poking smelly fish, playing happily in the rain, walk the dog together, hold a picnic session, laze around looking at clouds on the grass, sing ktv with just the 2 for us. So many things left undone.

I would want to start a scrapbook of places of joy, but its just not enough for me to begin with. In that case our moment of joy will be, the pool at toa payoh, his home, cineleisure cinema, PS couple lab, school, colour zone, a rubbish truck and the void deck you used to hold my hands and chat till dawn. In a period of 6 months thats what we do. Thats what we accomplish for apx 180 days. I really would want to spend wonderful moments with you. The moment we will always remember and make it reside in our heart for life. Being by your side when we used to party with a group of friend doesnt truely belongs to us, i longed to sit side by sit with you, sip the wine we'hv brought along to a sky of stars, a place where there is just the 2 of us. The memory of us being the lead. I hope i'll dream of it tonight and smile during my sleep.

Beach day

It was a real fun and relaxing day with my dear Joze, sipping beer and relaxing at the beach. With just the 2 of us we really did enjoy ourselves. Heart to heart talk of 2 leos.

Talking about 2 scorpios in our life, we see similarities in the 2 scorpios. They are both short tempered guy, love to drink etc.

Horoscope of a Leo
==============

All Leo's have high standards and they don't like to let themselves or anyone else down. They enjoy being seen as a person of substance and status, and prefer to be in a position to help others rather than approaching them cap in hand. Leo's pride would not allow them to live or work in a situation that they consider as 'beneath' them. They are far more comfortable working in an exciting area where they can jet off to glamorous places and influence the more mundane members of planet Earth. Leo's won't stand for being treated with contempt or ridicule, but they are very aware of other people's need for dignity, so they are rarely offensive or hurtful.
Leo's can become surprisingly downhearted on occasion, but they don't usually stay depressed for long and their confidence returns fairly quickly. The thing that saves most Leo's in hard times is their joyful sense of humour.
Leo's faults include impatience and a tendency to over dramatise problems. They become irritable when things go wrong and quite sarcastic when ill, under pressure or over-tired. Leo's live in the fast lane, working and playing very hard. However they must remember to build in some rest and recovery time. They can be pushy parents because they want their children to achieve as much as they have - and exceed it. Leo's encourage their children to become independent.
Leo's are generous and kind and will do anything to help others, especially their family. They excel as a family member and enjoy keeping in touch with relatives although are not the type to cling. As a marriage partner, Leo's are very loyal and dependable, as long as they're feeling loved and at the center of the family network. It is very unlikely for Leo's to have a fling simply out of curiosity, although if they are feeling undervalued and unloved by those around them, it may lead in that direction.
Leo's love the best of everything. They love to travel to smart places and to holiday in five-star comfort. Their values are traditional and although there are a few rogue Leo's around who seem to have no standards at all, these are untypical.

Horoscope of Scorpio
================

Reliable, resourceful and enduring, Scorpios seem to be the strong men and women of the zodiac. But are they really? They can be nasty at times, dishing out what they see as the truth, no matter how unwelcome. Their own feelings are sensitive and are easily hurt but they won't show any hurt or weakness in themselves to others. When they are very low or unhappy, this turns inwards, attacking their immune systems and making them ill. However they have great resilience and they bounce back in time and again from the most awful ailments.Nobody needs to love and be loved more than a Scorpio, but their partners must stand up to them because they will give anyone they don't respect a very hard time indeed. They are the most loyal and honest companions, both in personal relationships and at work. One reason for this is their hatred of change or uncertainty. Scorpios enjoy being the power behind the throne with someone else occupying the hot seat. This way, they can quietly manipulate everyone, set one against another and get exactly what they want from the situation.
Scorpio's voices are their best feature, often low, well modulated and cultured and these wonderful voices are used to the full in pleasant persuasion. These people are neither as highly sexed nor as difficult as most astrologists make out, but they do have their passions, even if these are not always for sex itself, and they like to be thought of as sexy. They love to shock and appear slightly dangerous but they also make kind-hearted and loyal friends, superb hosts and gentle people who are often very fond of animals. Great people when they are not being cruel, stingy or devious!

Had a real fun night!

*Thumbs up* for zouk once again, i was accompanied by my favourite friend. It was rather empty when we first reach we had a slip of wine and looked down at the empty dancefloor with clubbers strolling in now and then. The reason why i love this place so much, its packed with friendly people all around may it be male or female. Its a place where i constantly see familar faces, gather friends from all over like how we used to hangout every wednesday night.

It great meeting Ryan again in zouk whom he happens to be Delun's campmate from the pilot division. Still remember that chalet Ryan organised and we had great fun during his birthday. We drank bottles of liqour, had our handmade sushi and he was forced to wear only his red coloured g-string carrying a hippo shaped birthday cake bought by his gf choyu. That was real fun!

~ At St James~

After zouk we headed down to St James to meet up with my beloved darling. I just cant stop hugging him. My darling is so addictive and i m totally mesmerised by him. His smile mean the whole world to me. We had supper at newton and we took a stroll back. That moment i felt so loved. Looking at our shadows we walked hand in hand and i'll never want to let it go. The feeling was so wonderful and i vow that i would want to keep this feeling of love till the last beat of my heart. Darling i love u so dearly. I really want to be with you for the rest of my life.

5 months being together

We watched spiderman 3 together today, and what flashed back thru my mind was on our first date when we watched deja'vu. He's so caring and considerate. He will shield me thru the crowd on the streets, ran back to his house to get his house keys,take me out for dinner at newton *smiles* that was so sweet and we were friends back then.

We had dinner at home, lazed around his room and went back after that. It was kind of late when we're at back around my estate.

I thought there will be still public transport, who knows i guess he missed the last bus to newton and he sounds pissed when he called. Probably i m the cause as i wanted to get my supper.

Loving him once again, hoping this will turn out better. With that little trust still unsure whether is it enough to substain. I am still unable to put on the stuffs that he gave me when we're so much in love those days back..

At times i still cant help,tears just rolled down in the middle of the night when the pain stuck me. I am still struggling within myself i tried not to show. My angels around me constantly remind me that Seven should be happy. I really didnt expect that to hurt that much.

He told me i do not have the trust in him, not only a little. I have really got nothing to say. I am still so wreck, still trying to pick up the bits and pieces. I just hope that the effort he gave will be constant. What i would want to see, its not yet to surface. I really wish that he will care more about the people around him. Listen more and talk less, his words do acts as a sword sometimes. It just cuts.

*Bad cough*

Having bad cough lately. The weather is lousy and dear friends do take care. Gotta to hit the beach someday next week after my mense. Its the start of the life of enjoyment. I love sch vacation. I was talking to my dad yesterday and he asked to join him in a tour to tibet. Yup and true enough he has got tons of leisure trip to fulfill and none of it taken into action at least for the time being *eye rolling* The Gold coast trip which he asked me to go get it booked from richard and he's settering the bill end of the month. Dad is just very fickle minded worst than a woman at times.

Approaching the fifth

We are approaching the fifth and, things are going on smooth through there are few hip cups along the way of healing. I'hv bought each of us a book of confession named Joy and Happyness. "Happyness" Happiness is never perfect. Just the the movie ' The pursue of happyness' Walking through the road of happyness, its bound to carry the foodsteps of tears and saddness. Walking through saddness isnt easy. I am trying to learn every steps i walked. To conclude myself a with a happier and the life i want to lead. I hope that he would be able to walk every single step with me. We had been falling and getting up and falling times after times.

====================================================================

I happened to look through her pictures with him linked through her page. When i first saw her pictures, i found that she's really so sweet and cute. When i looked back now, doesnt look as it seems anymore. I start to ponder how sad was him when he forced himself to smile when he met up with me. The pictures of them, smiling so happily away, and now she's in the arms of the other. I know you'hv changed and you found someone whom u really care. I am glad. I saw those pictures, indeed reminiscing. Ultimately i think we can be only each other's rubbish bin.

Its been awhile

It had been awhile since my com crashed and i made no intention to have it done due to my busy schedules. There are drastic changes in my life for the past week, tears, heartache, confusion, stress for exams and current love life. Everything seems crashing down upon me i was almost breathless. I tried to help myself a little by not adding more stress to my exams, the only means is to take everything a step at a time. I dont ask for much anymore. Hoping for something better doesnt help either. I'm still faithless. The dark side of me, i still do fear. The only little hope i have is, him intergrating into someone more caring toward everybody.

I would really like to thank the people around me showering me with so much of concern. I am glad that my life is surrounded by angels.

Surprise

I was surprised when i saw him at the bus stop. I was so tired after a whole day of discussion for my law. But I just cant stop smiling when i saw him. Those kisses he gave warmed me and i felt so in love... Leaning on his shoulder made me so comfortable and how i wish that it will be forever. thou exam revision were tedious, having him around always made my day.

twice a week

Its like a prescription, addictive, side effects is to get heartache and tear twice every week. Sounds real ridiculous. Its the side effect of a imperfect love of mine. So much of doubts and guessing. I wonder how long can this last, the endless forgiving and words given. With decreasing faith and trust never to be mend by words. I should and i really should, i know what i should do.

Going on with life

In the 3rd month of my current relationship approaching 4th in a couple of weeks. We had came to a compromise that its true that we can't afford the time to meet too often during a week. This option is definately fine for me. Where else for him, he'll have to much time to idle away.

At times i am so confuse of what he really wants from me. At a certain time, he will tell me that we should cut down the time we spend on each other. On the other hand, i do not want things to get out of control. He told me a couple of times that he is the kind of person where at times, frustration rules over rationale. For the first few times he said, i was rather worried about that. But after awhile, i realised even though anything will to happen, i will have no control over it. So let things be how it will turn out to be. Putting all my love in for him, i cant expect a return in interest of that the only thing i can hope for is him being happy :)

School work is piling and i got to spend time slicing them off my pile of load. Law is the first to eliminate. Yup Jia you to myself.