who knows

Warning: She had A few bottles of beer, a full bottle of wine by herself, its up to you to believe it or not. It up to whether u feel she is in the right frame of mind in regard of the following entry. Maybe> or Maybe Not? Up to u to judge...

With a dozen of unhappiness,

i spent, to ease my unhappiness.

I was out alone,

I drank a bottle of wine by myself,

i thought hub hub might escape me from the agony, .

but that didnt happened.

I believe he was inconvienent.

Mk, my bro accompanied later part of the night till i reached home,

knowing what had happened to my family which he know i dont really wish to voice.

i voiced out to hua hua and he called me on my mobile i didnt answer the phone as i m not in the condition to talk.

with that unhappiness i know,

money cant buy kinship, cant buy love as well as faith.

I spent almost 200 bucks on japanese fine dinning and i know that was temporary.

i had the finest food tonight but why am i tearing?

I swear, with my integrity from now on,

that will be the only thing that make me tear again... Kinship.

And i will NOT DROP a single TEAR for any guy Except my DAD!!!

Be in my catergory before i tear for u !! !! otherwise you are not fit to be.

(Do u know?

I did tear for u once?

When you told me about the scenes i m gg to face? maybe one day? [Being an imaginative individual, i pictured that scene]

that one day u might leave me? To me, what is given to be the best of my ability is done. I do not expect and I do not sow returns . At the bottom of her heart, sad to say she is dead in heart after failures and hopesn from past experiences of trusts and betrayals, she will be her best not tear anymore. She has her reserve, in fact she is afraid to love, she might miss someone but rationale tells her not to. The creative side of her brain tells her maybe what you deserve is not going to happen and reserve yourself emotionally, you never know when's Tsunami coming again. Thou she loves him more than anyone could imagine, reality and memories of bad experiences do exist. Who knows one day, she will be badly hurt once again. She want s look forward most of the time but nightmares haunt her. Taking the approach of no expectation does make her feel better but with uncertainty

(Via daddy kong, when ego and pride of yours raise, u will treat others like idiots)

I wont care that much,

I just cant take the fact that my family is tearing apart.

Then monetary means can only cure the temporary self just that moment.

I became emotional after the phone call with mum.

I loathe that bitch LC.

I curse and swear that she dies in hell ! !!!

I mentioned to no one.

Fuck her and wish that she dies in hell.

Fuck!!!