Random

Under the roof matter

They are still in amid of the cold war, shooting hidden darts and arrows.

I am unsure of when will this internal war of them peace off but i have an omen that it is not going to be somewhere so soon.

I wasnt home last night and i've got no idea of what is the progress of it.

I guess i shouldnt get involve,

and all i can do is to do my things right.

Indo Chine Club Street

love u

Thanks my lovely hubhubiee,
for the care and concern you gave.
You are my love, my friend, my confidante and my family.
I am glad to have you around to give sound advice.
Love you lots.

Infernal home affairs

Its an outrageous day of tummy ache during the earlier part of the day and spinning headache during the later part of the night. Let me elaborate what happened during the late evening. It was dinner time and mum tele dad to check if he wants to head back home for dinner.

The fishy conflict starts with a lie. The tall lie told by dad that he was alone driving back from dinner. Mum didnt suspect anything unusual but when mum was about to hang up the phone, there comes background voice of a woman, with the accent of a mainland woman. It was shocking towards mum and mum on her speaker phone and wants me to listen as well. The phone went dead after 30 seconds of observation hearing.

It is a fact that dad was lying. Dad is a honest man, far too honest to conceal a lie. Too honest and kind to be the rightful target of some swindlers. As far as money is concerned, those "woman "out there to please the man and get the man paying. Nothing unusual.

Everything when berserk when dad stepped into the house. Screaming and shouting. I was back in my room with my sister eavesdropping on the conversation beyond my room and analyse the tone and lie quality spoken sentences. Its concrete that dad is spinning up lies and more lies to cover up for his pack of lies. Well after an hour of listening, we got bored and started playing card games in my room.

Being the master of selective hearing, my ears are trained to shut down and filter whatever unpleasant which flows through. Its difficult to side on the right or wrong in situation like the above. Love for mum and dad are on equal footing. I am not in the position to speak up. I know that my sis is utterly disappointed with dad but somehow or rather i feel that faults dont happen in a snap, its accumulated unhappiness and many other factors.

I am in no position to comment, i just hope things will turn out fine but the probablity of that chance is pretty low. I'll just see what can i do about it.

Chinese New Year

It is indeed a tough Ox year.

A tiring Chinese New Year with lesser and lesser sleep each day.

I am packed with 2 whole days of house visiting and extended family gathering,

house visits and unwelcome relatives visit to my humble home.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

大年初一

It is nothing uncommon to pay grand-dad a visit on the first day of cny,

the mega family gathering at the old kampong area i grew up - The Railway Mall.

Grand-dad's place turned into a major gambling den every year during cny.

With the new year gambling family of a total of 10 uncles and aunties,

25 cousins and some distant relatives as usual.

It was late afternoon and we headed to my maternal grandma's place at Balestier and had an early dinner at 5pm and took a nap at granny's place before the entire family head off for a family gathering movie day just behind granny's place.

Later part of the night, ( which is the most relaxing and enjoying part of the day )

i drove down to hubbiee's place at SengKang to spend some quiet time with my bao bao hubbiee,

it is enjoyable to watch PPstream with my bao bao in his arms and both of us had a good laugh over stephen chow movies.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

大年初二

I got home around 7am in the morning and headed straight to bed after wash ups. I was then awaken by the knockings on my door and some horrifying laughters of some uninvited guest. They were slibings of my dad.

* Dad is an adopted child, those uncles and aunties were dad's biological slibings, anyway i wasnt close to them and they were like strangers to me*

Its was 9am in the morning and i barely had 3 hours of sleep.

Chinese New Year "erms"

The convertion of my bamboo garden like corridoor by my dad . . .

I cant deny it gives a Chinese new year mood,

but its just kind of too OVER . . .

and . . . .

the chrysanthemum flowers,

just gives a Dee'javu " Ju Hua Tai " The curse of the Golden Flower . . . dots

The Curse of the Golden Flower

The footprints of our ancestors

Early morning prayers towards the ancestors at Bishan "teng"

I am pretty surprise to see young children, teens and teenagers around.

I believe that the descendants should be taught about the chinese tradition and not to forget their ancestors.

The footprints left by our ancestors should not be forgotten,

I woke up early this morning and headed towards Bishan to pay my respect to my Great-grandma.

" Lao-ma" in teochew had been staying with us during her late years, probably this is the reason why sis and and grew so attached to her.

She left us 4 years ago but memories of her will always be remembered.

Impromptu

It was a last minute call out from the hongkie Tony and company.

I was hanging around the old time kampong place at railway mall before I headed down to Holland Village to meet the guys up.

The initial plan was to catch steph up but the impromptu call out seems to be more interesting, I sent a message to steph inviting him for the join chill out.

He didnt seem to be interested, and asked if i would want to drop by his area instead.

He sounds emo, but i wouldnt want to drop by the extension area which is so out of the way.

Moreover we are heading down Clark Quay as Johnathan is picking up his friend from Holland.

Johna's friend is a medical student currently commencing his internship in Australia and Singapore is his country of transit.

He is an interesting Indonesian Chinese with the look of the younger version of Pierre Png.

To round up, he is just good looking. He is in the 2nd year of his course and would want to certify specialist surgeon instead of a general practitioner doctor.

Its a well to be profession.

He reminds me of Dr Julian, the one who claimed that he is attracted to me.

I got introduced to Julian via Paul.

Thinking back of the bunch of crazy guys,

We started off as friends from a bottle of moet chandon and it has been awhile since i catch up with the bunch of Quad.

Probably they are just too busy diving in the beautiful underwater world.

With all the beautiful pictures they took,

i can tell that they are really enjoying life.

Post 392

Its an early day to kick start with by waking up 5am in the morning. We headed off to the wet market early this morning to prepare our family for the new year reunion dinner on Sunday. Mum asked if we should get more ingredients and questioned if my friend [who happens to be my Wu brown brown] is coming over for reunion dinner. I suppose he earns himself a positive score with mum thats why mum pops up with that question. In fact I would really want to introduce my brown brown to my family especially my dad, well... with that amounts of Buts swilling in my mind, I chooses the wait and see approach. I do not want my dad to start questioning me about relationships which he always disapprove before he sees light in my career as well as studies. The day when dad smiles and realised how much savings i had and how well i can fend for myself for the future will be the day i get my real independent. Financially and physically. In the eyes of the parents, we are always the worrying factor in their mind. I am allowing myself 2 years to be financially independent. The day i moved out of my home to a self finance apartment of mine will be the day i can assure him with confident that i will be able to take care of myself.

Oh. . talking about my brown brown, I would like to thank him for the dinner last night. Love him for not grumbling about the noodles he had as he wanted eat the Taiwanese Oyster Vermicelli instead. Love him for giving in to me to fulfill my Kimichi crave. Thank you my hubbiee baobao.

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2 days ago
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It was Thursday evening when i received the messages my hubbieee sent.
Those sms misses he gave during my steamboat session.
I just cant help but the smile,
*I miss you again*
Thanks for the hug in the middle of the street,
you made me feel so loved.
*Smiles*
Loves

Fluctuations

Immense unhappiness over-whelmed me when i checked my account balance this late afternoon. I was taken back when there is a huge fluctuation in the account balances i had. Giro- deduction of this, giro deduction of that. I came to a conclusion that there is no up-moving curve in my idiotic bank account. Once the balance hits the highest point in my life which is like around 10 over thousand, it came crashing down like a major recession. The downward curves of fluctuations were caused by the splurging on either shopping overseas tour or some nice to have designer baggage *sulk* whenever the balance in my account hits trough, i feel damn f**king depress. All of a sudden, life becomes insecure. Argh . . Thank god, the forced savings account is implemented few years back, otherwise i am going to be broke till rot. I cant imagine how will i be if i have a family in the current moment. Probably they can feed on my designer bags and shoes? or maybe some clothes and dresses. I came up to a resolution this year of :

NO MORE/REDUCED

Reduce transport allowances =/ fr 600/mth - 150/mth

No designers bags/shoes/clothes for the entire year

NO Marc Jacobs flats

NO Louis Vuitton Epi Alma bag

Just dont spend unnecessary

Thank you

But i wouldnt mind if those were given as gifts.

And pls my dear 7 year old GUCCI HP strap,

please dont snap before i can replace you and frame you up as a historical icon of mine.

Fri and Sat

Thank you

Appreciated

100 kisses from you to make-up for the lost kisses during the days we lost contact.

Thank you

Appreciated

for holding me tight during the movie

Thank you

I Love you

for cherishing me in your hugs whenever you can

Misses for >3 days

The Monday afternoon I board the cab,
I turned back looking,
looking as we distant.
Distant in space but not in the heart of mine.
You're riding on your old rusty bike as the cabby drove on.
The cabby braked along the red light junction.
I turned and looked through the rear window knowing that you will re-appear within my sight.
You did not disappoint me and gap up the space within us.
The junction light turned green and the cabby moved on,
the image of you just got smaller and smaller,
and finally disappear.
I know i am going to miss you like crazy for the up-coming days to come.
Those days without phone calls or messages were tormenting.
During the nights when i was out,
my expressions tell,
the expressions of misses.
Its the usual wednesday Mambo night.
I was out with the bunch of school mates and extended gang.
The conclusion was,
i didnt enjoy myself.
I just cant force the genuine smile off me.

Most of the time i was sitted, talking to Mr Sng or at the smoking point.

I just cant seems to enjoy.
My life seems defected.

A handicap without you.

I know that things are getting busy on your ends,

I blamed myself for forsaking the chance of indulging in the arms of yours tonight.

I couldnt get out of the house without alarming my parents.

I am lying on my bed right now and regretting the earlier moment.

i should have spin up a lie and be prepared for naggings and scoldings the next day to supplement the terrible misses of you.

I really miss you so much.

I cant wait to be in your arms.....

Its a terrible feeling which hounds.

Saturday night is what I can look forward to,

to indulge in your hugs.

Spring Clean

My work and shopping daily companion,

my Guccis, LVs, Burberry and Fendi

I had my beloved shoes neatly packed,

spaced enough for their upcoming new neighbour the blue flats MarcsJacobs.

My fetish for shoes,

comfortable designer shoes which follow me as i walked on.

They are my;

Limited Edition Gold pair of Adidas Sneakers,

Tatami Brikenstocks Sandals,

1st pair of Coach Sneakers,

Calvin Klein flats,
Prada Purple Ballet Shoes,

Coach Slippers,

Ferregammo signature pair,

and up-coming new neighbour,

the MarcJacobs Navy Blue flats.

My violin hung up on the wall,

accompanied by the little violin musical box and little gifts by my lovely hubbiee.

Dior and Neo-strata skincare beside the mirror.

The $2.05 new clock from value dollar.

My new shelf which cost incredibly cheap @ $16.00 from the nearby furniture store,
the useful storage for my document and remy martin VSOP champange

The wine and wine glasses at the bottom of the shelf
My dressing table and work desk.
My work desk needs a new makeup,
I am going to give her a new colour coating of,
cream white and mahogany brown along the sides.

Dark Mahogany upright piano with the framed up Gucci card.


What a tired day
Well, thats the neatest it can get,
for friends who had been to my dog nest knows what i mean.
hahaa,
There's simply too many stuffs in my room.
My single size bed cant be upgraded. . Sob ~~
All thanks to the barangs i had in my room.
2 wardrobes,
1 writing desk,
1 dressing table,
the incredibly cramp single bed,
a newly bought small book shelf
and the bulky space consuming upright piano.

Day with the comical guys

Met Steph up at Wala for a drink,

we were keep company by the old comical gang,

Tony, Pett and Jonathan...

Had been awhile since i had supper with the guys.

With all the guys talk etc, its a night with non-stop laughter and cracky jokes,

and the questions they probed me into,

there is no answer to the question.

Thanks for asking anyway.

I myself do not know the answer to your question.

Its uncertainty and the future is not within my control.

What i long to have may not be the outcome.

So i really do not wish to expect anymore,

just let things flow on its nature course.

Coming to the end of the night,

headed to the kampong area where i grew up,

i took a short stroll on the windy pathway and my mind was filled with work commitments, my family and my dearest hubhub.

To my wonder, hubhub has already intergrated into the thoughts,

ranked one of my highest priority.

I realised i really need to work extra hard to secure what will it to be for us.

Our goal seems near yet distant,

of what it takes,

i am in,

to take the challange.

Whether is there an outcome or not,

I know i will not be on the losing end,

because at the end of the day,

i will be one experiencing the growth of wisdom and taste of life.

And when i said i really want to get married to you, i am not kidding . . . . . I really want to spend my life with the unique you. The one who makes me love with all i can. Its you and no one else. When i said i want you to be the last, do not doubt because you will be.

What do Seven do when she miss her hubhub.?

Look at the pictures we took ( Finally)

The video clips we had on my birthday 08,

his facebook,

the peopleless photo album he gave,

The smses he gave....

close my eyes and hope that i dream of him.

A day

One of the few times where no calls or smses.

Its a weird feeling to come along.

I really miss him so damn much.

Was watching Red Cliff 2 at GV great world after my meeting with Ling my cousin.

Had been awhile since sat alone in the cinema watching the show i wanted to watch.

I really do miss him like crazy especially when the night falls.

I miss his hug and the kisses he gave.

So warm and so passionate.

How i wish i am by his side each day and night.

But the problem is when we get stuck together long enough both of us becomes caterpillar.

Lazy bones and we just enjoy too much of each others company where we do not wish to do anything but to stay by each others side and enjoy doing nothing.

How my hubhubieeee how can i not miss u that much?

I really want to be your wife wife who stays by your side and massage you whenever i can.

Can i make your wife wife criteria?

I realised i do not need anything . . . just having you by my side makes it joyful . . Am i crazy am i not? I just love you too much.

Its like . . .

It can be describe as a change in hormones,

when you get irritated,

your mental mind thinks all about the challenging matter.

The mess of my room adds on to the irritation.

Sales meeting tomorrow morning adds oil to the fire.

Everything gets so irritating.

I hate that kind of feeling.

Nothing goes wrong,

i suppose its jus myself adding pressure to what i expect of what i can do,

and what is the end result.

Its fucking irritating when you are shouldering all the responsibilty and there is no one to help.

Sooner or later,

what i expect of myself will get higher and eventually much more higher,

why am i torturing myself.

Holy shit . . .

Give Seven a break.

Hectic

Very the Sian . . . . .

Joy is simple

Immense joy and blissfulness were filled to the brim for the quality time spent over the start of the weekends.

We are behaving like an old couple who priorities work and play.

More than usual we spend our day at work and other necessary responsibility where our job is concern.

We even out time spend with friends out of a percentage of our private evenings which belongs to just the 2 of us.

We enjoy our shopping trip to the supermarket,

the wonderful home cook food indulge,

the DIY face mask sessions,

intimate hugs,

late night DVDs and cuddles,

discovery channel/animal planet/national geographical laughs,

bicycle ride in the middle of the night,

BBQ sessions at the end of the party,

early morning breakfast and milkshake by me can be something sweet and enjoyable.

We realised that simple makes joy.

There is no need for extravaganza,

probably just once in a blue moon is enough for us.

A quiet and simple picnic at botanical garden can be a loud and enjoyable day for the both of us.

When love is in the air,

you will know it.

You will not expect the more of it.

Simply,

whatever you did is appreciated and reciprocal.

Integrating from mere liking to what love is all about.

Thanks to my hubhubieee for loving me,

love showers of care,

and constant remind of my bad habits.

There is this strong feeling of;

joyfulness and love,

lasting for a lifetime.

So much u know ~~

Its universal

When we talk about love, as in loving someone wholeheartedly. The willingness of doing anything for the one you love so much. I learned to love and give without any expect to sow. I realised how unreasonable i was in the past, at that point of time i simply do not understand how to love. The flashbacks of how great i was treated in the past but i wasnt reciprocal. The efforts he made massaging my back without fail during my cramps cycle once a month which lasted for a full 6 years. How he gave in to me whenever i was so utterly unreasonable. How ridicules i was. Thats an irrevocable past i cant deny. Even so, i did not look back and i will never do. Past is always a past, once the feeling is gone, its gone forever. In the current relationship with hubbiee right now, i am just doing my rightful part. It is not to impress, but to give the rightful privilege what my lovely deserve. The warmness and blissfulness being love. I did all because i love him so much. More than i love myself. To release his migraines, i continued massging him despite of the pain i am suffering from my cramps. I didnt feel unjustify, the bottomline, i just want him to feel better. I just found out that, i am really putting him before myself. Loving him more than who ever can imagine. Simply make a comparison of the past self. I am doing everything i wasnt prepared to. I didnt imagine that, thats how much i love him. I would really want to be with him and spend the rest of my life with him. Probably thats the reason why i am giving all my love without any reserve. I made a promise to myself, " no way" i will to do anything to hurt my current relationship, he is someone i wanted so much . . . . I want him to be the last man in my life and i hope i will be the last of his.

Spinning

Head spinning sensation on the Saturday morning, I finally got home after the contemplating wait with H for the save up on the peak hours surcharge cab fare. My cellphone rang, it was hubhubiee early in the morning. Thats early I thought. I spent the rest of my afternoon stoning and "Lao Saiing" . . . . Practically i was awake for the past 24 hours. I finally fell asleep, dead deep sleep. Awaken up by mum and urged me to get the tickets for the movie this evening. I forced myself out of the bed to get ready for my family movie day. It tirring, but it is worth the while, not because of the movie but a night out with my family.

Later part of the evening, i headed towards redhill to catch my hubbiee up. Its painful not to hug in 2 days in a row. I can tell that he wasnt feeling very well. For the next 24hours i spend my time looking after him and taking over the chores he is suppose to do. I spent my evening hugging my hubbiee and massaging him hoping to release his migraine. My heartache when i see him suffering and i really hope to see him well soon.

PS (H) you know who u r: Let it go . . . and i believe you will be happier. You deserve someone better... He is crap and i hate him because its so unjustifiable for u. Dont cry for jerks like him. Sigh ah . . . jialat lor u . . . be more rational lar... its so super unlike u.

And i think i shouldnt be caught up in that kind of situation anymore. . . something all of us didnt expect. If something like that happens again . . . pls excuse me... or gimme a DS-light or something to keep me occupied.

.Countdown woes.

We were invited by Roy and his dad to join the countdown party at the Copthone waterfront. I was showing attitude towards the duet childhood kakis throughout the night. I am not in a mood to talk about the countdown owing to my sprained neck and hormones activation of late coming "Aunt visit". I got moody easily and best of all, i cant flare. Its kind of irritating when actions and idiotic acts were inappropriate especially the hot water splashes. Tons of question marks what is he thinking? No matter how close i am as a buddy or friend, i deem a certain respect. The rest of my cliques see it though, i am not in a good mood. I am not the kind who flares easily i definately would not want to kill the atmosphere but please do not agitate it. It woes my night. Though i am pissed off with what it is and what he did, i still do thank him for the ride back. I am not holding any grudge but he definately got to learn something, do what is appropriate, say what is appropriate before he gets into real trouble with people one day.

Past 2008

I am resting on the end of my bed, feeling of tiredness after the last puff of my cigarette. I am categorizing events which befall in 2008.

OVERALL _

I think of the people whom i love and vice versa. I think of my lovely, my parents as well as my beautiful hearted friends who sculpt who I am and what I am worth for. I think of my human relation job which charaterised me. I learned to walk and work with care and concern. I thank my mentor, my colleagues and friends who make my business a wonderful career to be in.

MY HUBBIEEE_

It was him, my lovely who appear in my life and nurture the painful soul of mine to concrete that the painful past is over. Its exactly 6 months since we officially met. *Smiles* He is my relaxing cushion, my home and comfortable zone to rely on. Walking on the path which interlocks us, he makes the gem of my heart. A precious one and only defined gem which glows and shine. He always ask me this. Do you think Hubbieee loves you? In the deepest thought which voice, I am so afraid one day he will tell me he do not anymore. Well, its just a pessimistic moment of thought, but do not worry, pessimistic thoughts do not stay long in my mind.