Delayed

I finally receive a sms from my hubhubiee after 3 days of waiting and missings.

He missed his flight back today,

he must have overslept.

Arghh . . I miss him so bloody much.

I wonder if he is having too much fun and has put me at the far end of his mind.

He used to keep touch with me when he away for his trips

But

I suppose he is just too busy having endless fun and shopping this time round.

:-(

The Sequins hoodie

The Calvin klein Hoodie,

White Sequins

Lovely

In stores

$489/-

Misses

To see you when I wake up is a gift I didnt think could be real.

To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold.

You do something to me that I cant explain.

So would I be out of the line if I said " I miss you" ?

I browse your photos,

missing the smell on your skin.

You have only been away for 2 days.

But I am already wasting away.

I know I will see you again soon.

But I need you to know that I CARE and I MISS YOU more than you know.
You are someone who made my life a complete one.

Miss miss hubhub.

The girly

This was taken from the recent blog of Casey.

I met her thru Terry - Andrew.

The first sight of her was so many years ago.

Kaixin is a sweet and caring girl.

The last image of her was at the Birthday Chalet many years ago.

The past used to be the upper hand of Andrew,

The role is switch for a reason,

Never to underestimate the power of a lady.

Jiayou ba Kaixin :)

Random

Mon, Tue, Wed, Thurs, Fri

I'm gotta miss you

Month after month,

I am still heels after you,

crazily in love with you,

my whinny lovely hubhubie. . .

Be back soon,

So we can chase little fishes in your fishtank once again with your cute little submarine.

Love you always :)

Wednesday nights out

Blacklisted

Blacklisted:

The band of blacklisted names,

STH. T: an ultimate hypocrite who will take advantage of the situation

= BLACKLIST=

SAL.CIn Teo: The one whom I can never made him mine

= BLACKLIST=

EUG. DI: The dancer who tries to be funny

= BLACKLIST=

I.T: The bastard who shouldnt be pitied

= BLACKLIST=

ED.LIM: The irritating idiot who buzz me non-stop

=BLACKLIST=

-

-

-

-

People around me

I realised the centre of influence i got myself into.

People and more people.

The ample group of friends i hang out with.

The comfortable range of people I am with, which I am happy about it.

I am in-love with Wendy as both of us shared the same frequency,

nights with her contribute endless laughters.

I am in-love with Joze and girlies as we can bitch till the end of century.

I am in-love with peter and company, they will crack the best jokes of the universe to make me laugh till my jaws drop and motivate me when work is concern.

I am in-love with our uni gang as we went through tough project hours together.

I am in-love with muel muel and company, they never fail to made me their Queen of the night.

I am in-love with Fulala and gang, endless fun just starts with them.

I am in-love with the Brotherhood drinking Kakis, bitching stories of their scandals just never end.

I am in-love with my msn-ie regular group, they always keep me company when i am lazy to step out of the house.

I am in-love with my family and xiaobao baby, they are always there for me.

I am in-love with my dearest hubhub, as he is the one i will want to walk my life till old and grey with.

Lastly I am in-love with myself, without "I" all these wouldnt be made possible.

I am not Perfect :)

:)

I realised no one is perfect until you fall in love with them

You are perfect in my eyes

It's love in my eyes to watch you sleep whenever I can

Thank you for loving me too

:)

All about men

MEN
Men are like Laxatives They irritate the crap out of you.
Men are like. Bananas The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like Weather Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like Commercials You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
Men are like Popcorn They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like Lava Lamps Fun to look at, but not very bright.
Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Life is busy

Life is busy,

work is hectic.

Take a deep breathe.

Pace of work has been speeding and I have been losing out spending quality time with my lovely hubhubie.

I miss him so, yet I am too tired to do anything about it.

I am procrastinating the state of missings.

More than often,

I will turn into the facebook of my hubhubie to take a short glance at his pictures to ease the missings before i get to bed.

Although the yearning were terrible,

well i just have to swallow them down and hope that i will get to see him soon.

Random

The dream guy

I had a dream last night,

and it revolves around my dream guy and family.

My dream went dashed into reality when my cellphone rang.

It was HOLLY. . .

ARgh . .

I didnt even have a chance to bid farewell to my 2 yr old daughter Karin and my dream husband Dylan.

My "husband" is a chinese guy,

speaks chinese and looks like Utt . .

He is sweet and caring,

someone without worries.

I just need to be a perfect housewife to take care of our newly built semi-detach along King's Albert with our sweet and nice neighbour Dooretty.

Every morning when i water the plants at our little garden,

Karin will pop out and greet me good morning in french, the new language which she learn from her pre-school.

And i know its time to prepare cereal and sunny side up for my dear Dylan and Karin.

The dream goes . . .

I met Dylan in my school hall when i was in University.

He is a talented guy who plays the violin which makes a point why I was attracted to him.

I made my move as usual and start leaving stuffs in his locker and eventually my msn and contact numbers.

The start up was innocent and pure.

The dating part were sweet as both of us enjoy musical concerts, art galleries and of course sunny beaches.

We spent many wonderful moments together till the day we graduated.

Until one day he showed me a drawing of our future.

A draw-up of our future home and he proposed with nothing much but a ring of the coca cola can and i accepted it.

We start building our home from it, sharing the vision of our future home as our goal.

Eventually what we hope for came true and i was blessed with my girl named Karin.

Everything was perfect BUT i know its just a dream too good to be true.

A dream is a dream.

Dylan doesnt exist.

Karin is friction.

Probably its just the sub conscious mind of mine,

craving for that kind of senenity and peace.

The kind of life i always want.

My Dylan and my cute little Karin.

Its time to get some sleep and hopefully I will get to see my cute little Karin soon.

The Seventiesss

My Good looking dad during the 70s

He is only 19 then when he built the prototype

Changi Airport control tower.

Mum and dad . .

Mum look so gloomy,

probably seasick.

Does my dad resemble bruce lee?

You just got to imagine.

Facebk : Which type of women are you?

Lovely lady

You are lovely and caring. You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy. Your life aim maybe is to serve the people. But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs. All your time is hold back for your friends and family. You are always there for people in trouble. Ready for any emergency. You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human. But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny. Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls. You will have your own problems in your life. Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it. People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you. Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others . Not everyone is created this way... You are uniqe and rare!

Right on spot. . . hahaa which makes me a financial planner.

Hey Lulu

I have a little lulu of my own,
in which my little lulu,
is such an adorable one,
entertaining,
interesting,
loving,
sometimes naughty,
skin colour a little darker than normal,
needs to be tug into bed at times.
He will whine when he is drunk,
he will whine when he is sleepy to put you by his side and watch him sleep.
He is my little lulu in blue.

With Skinny legs,

I will adore my little lulu like how i adore myself.
Love him with all i can.

:p Thanks for the company last night.

The shopping and movies in the evening.

Love you.

后来

后来我总算学会了如何去爱

可惜你早已远去消失在人海

后来终于在眼泪中明白有些人

一旦错过就不再

桅子花白花瓣落在我蓝色百褶裙上「爱你」你轻声说我低下头闻见一阵芬芳那个永恒的夜晚

十七岁仲夏你吻我的那个夜晚

让我往后的时光每当有感叹总想起当天的星光

那时候的爱情为什么就能那样简单

而又是为什么人年少时

一定要让深爱的人受伤

在这相似的深夜里你是否一样也在静静追悔感伤

如果当时我们能不那么倔强现在也不那么遗憾

你都如何回忆我带着笑或是很沉默

这些年来有没有人能让你不寂寞

永远不会再重来

有一个男孩爱着那个女孩

Taste

It tastes sweet when he bought nice durian puff for you and make sure that you eat it.

It tastes sweet when he ask you to sit in front of him and

watch our favourite discovery channel,

although it is uncomfortable,

I am glad to lean onto him as we enjoy the discovery channel on screen.

It tastes sweet when he grabs you and kiss you out of nowhere so passionately and stop all of a sudden and said. Ok thats all :)

It tastes sweet when you lie in arms,

feeling loved.

and him telling you that he will try to love you more each day.

哈哈

我是三毛，

那，

你就是伍毛了啦，

你这个伍毛毛

Intruders

Intruders within the perimeter of privacy zone.

We perimeter out the distance within friends, close friends or lovers.

I was pretty taken back when he came close to me this afternoon.

His knee touches my tights,

i was sitting down on a high chair.

dots . . . dots,

I cant move backwards as i was leaning against the table.

Out of what i can react i guess.

My eyes start to roll,

looking around if there are any unusual look.

I feel uneasy and somehow my heart skipped a beat.

I just dont like it.

Never eat the place you shit.

The concerns

The concerns which hinder when your cellphone buzz us awake in the late morning.

The numbers of my mum cellphone.

The things that you are concern as I anticipated.

I know there are things that you wouldn't like, feel burden or obligated about.

Although you told me that its like family and you like it.

( ' ,' )~~

I understand what are things like and I am not expecting anything.

What will be, will be.

Well,

I wasn't questioned.

The answer was.

She thought the numbers belongs to Wendy.

Criteria

Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.

It is by looking in depth, of the worth in the other half.

What qualites he or her is made of.

Many admire flowers,

but few sees their true beauty.

I come to realise,

as people gets older,

the tendency of them looking into qualities weighs heavier rather than the appearance of one self.

May it be friends or who so ever.

You tend to see things which are beyond what the naked eyes can tell.

I can't say that appearance wise is totally eliminated out of the picture.

You do not need to be a hunk or a babe to look good or attract.

That is just the initial approach.

To walk on,

many considerations are taken into factor.

Babe. Bitch. - out -

Hunk. Bastard. -out-

Babe. uncouth. -out-

.

..

....

Yes,something i will never accept,

my other half shouldn't be uncouth.

Vulgarities is a no no.

I absolutely dislike individuals to come out with comments like " I am attracted to you "

Thanks and no thanks.

I believe that different type of character attracts different group of people.

The values in me portrays a good wife and daughter in-law to the eyes of many,

probably that is the reason why individuals of the opposite sex with the rightful age for a family will come out with absurd proposal for me.

** blank **

Seconds to minutes

I appreciate you.

The attention.

The hugs and kisses you gave.

I know you do not want to give any promises :)

I understand.

I will just be there,

around the corner.

You know, I will be there always.

:)

Wifey wife, to give you serenity,

for you to know you are safe,

a peaceful and warm fill little corner for you to rely on.

Love hubhub

Tag board

The heels and heals

Tired.

Sore Throat.

Cough.

Sprained Ankle.

Oh,

I am finally sick.

The funny thing was,

I feel good,

not physically but emotionally.

I like it when Hubhub thank me this afternoon and i feel appreciated.

Although i am unwell,

my heart is filled.

The emotional armour

I fall into the point of contradiction of armouring myself up in term of relationship.

How defensive should I get.

The words from hubhub made me realised how wrong i was in the past.

How I used to fend myself up, in order not get even a slight less bruise.

That was 3 years ago,

the defence level was at its optimal,

i literally abandon everything except myself.

I murdered my 6 years relationship.

I just pushed everything away being I just love myself too much and I wouldn't even care about the thoughts of others.

I just push the blame on him simply because of a lie where i am the cause of it.

He pleaded and beg but i simply pushed everything aside.

At that point of time i believe what is imperfection .

I threw our thick and thin through the 6 years away in a snap.

I just moved on as quickly as i could and got myself attached within a week.

That shaped the greatest lesson in my life.

Owning to self ego,

I forgot how he used to take care of me when the whole family was away from Singapore for 2 weeks.

I forgot how he rushed me to the hospital when i was suffering from bronchitics.

I forgot how he used to cook for me, each meal, each day when i was heavily ill.

I forgot how he prepared the medicine 4am in the morning beside my bed.

I forgot how he used to take leave from work just to take care of me.

I forgot how he used to console me when great-granny passed away.

I forgot how he used to take care of my baby sister when she was rebellious.

I forgot how he argued with his family just to stay by my side each and every night.

I just forgot.

I looked back and realised how silly i was in the past.

To treat someone who loves me so much, comparable to how much he loves his family with that kind of egoist thought and selfishness.

I am the one who force him out of the relationship.

I was blinded with the obsession i had in myself.

I remembered telling this to him.

I just love myself more than anyone else.

I forbade him to hit a club with me,

but he make it his duty to pick me up at night and massage me to bed.

I scolded him when he left me alone at home when he meet his friends for soccer session.

But

I left him alone when he sprained his ankle,

I left him to himself when he was sick,

I walked away when he needed me.

Its out of a sudden all these just flow through my mind.

I see the shadow of a egoist and self-centred self of the past.

All of a sudden,

Its guilt and regrets.

Its recent.

I realised my mistake through the talk i had with my hubhubiee.

Its a switch of position to make me feel.

3 years down the road,

to speak it up,

Thank you for everything and

Sorry for whatever i've did.

I find myself pathetic to not feel for a 6 years relationship but to throw everything in for something with an uncertain outcome.

Probably thats the reason why i am able to forgive and to love more.

I realised,

its not that difficult to recover from pain.

Its the regrets that follows.

Kaoz Junior

8.30 am in the morning .

I was wondering what happened to my biological clock,

Its pretty rare to wake up an hour before my alarm goes off.

Moreover its raining . . . .

My sub-conscious mind says,

Eh . . . " i don't want to be caterpillar "

I headed out early and met David up in office,

I need to move along with colleagues with the faster pace to upkeep with work.

Simply seeing them closing cases gives me the sense of urgency.

During the evening.

I am still excited to hear the call from my lovely but i was driving at the point of time,

i was urged to put the phone down with Holly complaining that i am risking her life being a driver.

The Leo

She likes being what she is.

Love herself very much.

She will dress in her own style not according to fashion.

She is confident of what she choose to wear.

She like unique and strange cloths.

Being different is what she likes.

She is selective about people she mingles with.

She's open minded, but yet not letting people to get close to her easily.

She smiles to everyone and likes to be in control because of her nature instinct.

She is an egoistic person so do not do anything to challenge her confident.

She remembers everything, words said and actions did.

She likes to cherish her sweet memory,

so if u find her old photo albums with her ex-bf or love letters which make you puke,

take it easy as she is keeping her sweet memory does not means she is still in love with the old fool.

She hates being poor and thinks love will not pay bills.

She is a sports type and love sports.

She is a generous person, so do not be surprise if she give you a gift more expensive than what you gave her.

She likes extravaganza, no cheap gift.

Being poor and broke makes her depress.

If you are getting her something, you may think economical but not cheap.

She appreciate sincerity.

How true . . . Leos . .

The talk

In fact,

I just need to talk and iron things out.

It is a fact of the emotional self to seek for the reason behind every move or questions asked.

I've come to see things through and realised the resemblance in the both of us.

I am glad that he told me things that i wasn't even aware of.

I come to visualise the fact that he has a role to play.

He is just playing the role of a self-centred boyfriend.

Well, its whether to accept of deny it.

Its the fact.

The withdrawal of my emotions were quick,

I literally cry no more and hurt was being sectioned out; at least at this point of my entry.

Lying there being lifeless or crying every night to bed does no good at all.

I realised i need to turn the self and I the other way round.

- - - - - - -

Things went on as usual,

sectioning the unpleasant moments we had.

We still share the laughter and hugs we used to give each other.

We ' pink ' and ' dote ' each other just like how we used to be.

We whine in each other's arms as usual.

I somehow agree to what he said.

Some couples may seems as lovely as many might seems to be.

But at the end of the day,

they are part of the process rather than the destination.

I do not want to expect;

May it be a process or destination for the both of us,

Its none of the concern anymore.

Because.

Memories of us will be an enjoyable moment to reminisce some day.

Walking

Teach me how to move and walk on.

Whenever i took a step ahead you pushed me two steps backwards.

I am so tired.

I am drained.

Towards the disappointment.

I feel worthless for the amount a care and love i put in.

At a point of time,

i really can not differentiate what is the truth or what is not.

I start to recall what was told in the past.

They just burns up my heart.

To the extend the pain which pierces and reminded me,

what was told which makes me jump up with joy in the past maybe just acts.

It is just too hefty for me to digest.

In the dreams i had nights to night,

i was just left there by myself bleeding and dying.

I thought i can embrace myself up as time goes by.

But i am just lying to myself.

I was brought down to cartier boutique days ago.
J chooses a ring for me and handed a return ticket to Zurich.
I walked out of the boutique the escape the unplanned situation.
He followed me out.
I finally stopped.
I apologised for being rude.
Its something out of my expectation.

I told him, my heart is too small to fit someone else in there.

My heart is fully occupied.

Even if it is emptied someday,

the opening of the heart is sealed.

I wouldnt even want to love anymore.

Its just so painful.

My apologises,

I just cannot accept anyone anymore.

Maybe you will be able to walk on in life just as nothing had ever happened.

But for myself you just left an irreversible change in my life.