Day 118

Day 118
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I was early before the gathering at Copthone waterfront with long time great buddies ! Thanks Roy for organising the catch-up, Thanks, I Really enjoyed it ! We haven gathered since long. I was reading by the riverside when I met David, an English man from London. He saw the book I was reading and walked over. Well, David is a personal friend of the author of my book from Dr Derek Prince, a well-known pastor. David is a suave looking middle age man and he shared something on Faith with me. David is a Christian. He is the CEO of a Merger & Acquisition company who is in Singapore in negotiation for starhub's buyover of some certain company.

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Anyway I invited him for our Asian Conference this May. Hope to see him back in Singapore very soon. He is preparing for documentations to be a PR in Singapore in fact. David is already a Grand-dad by the way.

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I find this pretty interesting,

so many 7 Seven

Look at the potato faces

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Our gathering at Copthone Waterfront,

Thanks uncle Jimmy ( Roy's dad ) for the sumptous dinner and drinks.

Thanks for the blessings.

I missed my catch-up with Stacy and the girls,

well it was 1am when our gathering ended.

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I headed off to Velvet to catch up with the guys, it has been awhile since I last meet up with Fulala and company. We didnt stay long, ^^ we headed off to Attica instead. Jake had been drinking so I took over the wheels and drove instead. Haven been used to his Lexus and I ended up ticking on the wiper lever instead of the turning signal lever. Continential car's signals lever are on the left instead of right.

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Thank you for the blessing of God for this wonderful day, and thank you everybody for today. Its a well evening with everyone of you guys.

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I am meeting Jake very soon for business negotiation. God I pray for a fruit work relationship with Jake. Jake is the young PAP member by the way. I really hope to workout some good plans with him coming monday. ^^

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我祷告 : 神，请你将我对宝贝所有的爱转变成满满的祝福，每天的幸福，晚上的平安，工作的顺利，健康的身体 和 改变的动力 ! 我相信你的大能是无限的 ! 神啊，我爱我的宝贝，请你祝福他，让他得着平安与快乐 !

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宝贝你好吗? 我好想你! 可是我知道，我们都需要改变，在我们一点一点，一天一天的走向得胜的生活，我们不能再像虫虫，我们要当蚂蚁! 在还没彻底改变之前，就算我有多想多想你，我都要往肚子里吞。我们加油吧! ^^ 你知道吗，我真的好爱好爱你! 我给你的承诺，这一辈子都能对现! 应为我会爱你一辈子! 晚安。

Day 117

Day 117
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I believe in you hubhub ! I trust in you ! Jia you Smelly !
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The Sow and reap theory:

What you sow is what you reap. If you sow fear, you reap terror. You sow faith you reap faith. Therefore, if you sow dishonesty, you reap critics.

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I sow Love, I sow faith, I sow confidence, I sow trust, I sow honesty, I sow greatness, I sow fruitfulness, I sow wealth, I sow peace, I sow my true heart of truthfulness towards you. My love baby hubhub ~~ I sow all these for you. God sees everything I sow and the amount of sacrifices I've made. Like I told God, please multipy these seeds I sow as I shower and nurture them with lots of love everyday as prayers for hubhub. Let all these seeds harvest into good fruits of blessings and be added to my hubhub.

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Prayers: Praying for hubhub ! A vision and light in the dream of my hubhub. A dream that till bring fruitfulness and joy. It is pointless to achieve a dream and loses all joy and peace in life. I pray for Joy to accompany as you achieve your dreams. Endurance that brings hope. Jia You bao bei !! Hubhub, you are part of me, and your joy becomes my joy ^^ I love you! God please protect this man and bless him with fruitfulness.

Day 116

Day 116
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I start my day thinking of you hubhub, I woke up with you in my mind, I got out of bed: I prayed to God and told God : God please help my dearest hubhub in fulfilling what he has to do today ! Hubhub I love you !
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Had a really busy and hectic day. SOT in the morning, I spent my early morning in the Artiste room for my sermon. Had fellowship with team 5 lunch lunch and Keith sent me home. Have a dozen of task to be completed today.

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My violin A string broke. I have to head down to Magic Fiddler to get my strings replaced. Returned the music school key to Liza and I headed down to City collage for my Violin practice with the Millienia Orchestra.

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Stressful with my position in playing the 2nd violin part. 1st time reading the music score after 2 years. Moreover it is a tough one . . Dvorak Symphony no. 8. It is kind of " buang " for me. 1st time playing in an Orchestra. . . I dont even understand what the conductor is trying to convey. I always thought that the conductor is like anyhow anyhow one. . . The conductor is damn good, he can really hear which violin is off tune etc. Which trumpet need to do their Sarccato and stuck their tongue into the blowhole. . . But Nevermind, I will learn and I believe practice will make perfect. ^^

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Enough of updates for today ^^

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Prayers: I learned the intercession of prayers, I will pray for you even more everyday as blessings will accumulate more goodness for you ! Because I love you. Heavenly father, please bestow courage upon my hubhub to change things he longed to be changed. Maybe he is praying to change me away :0 lolx. I am just too irritating towards him. Blah. . Ai ya . . Hubhub I love you la and that will never change. Smelly bao bao, I will always be there for you. My actions speaks and time is my witness, Lord father is my judge ^^ ** Pink pink pink you ah ** Baobei, Jiayou ba !! :-)

Day 115

Day 115

What has KFC got to do with me today ?

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My speaker for today Peter Wagner;

Looks like the KFC uncle right

lolx :0

Learned alot from this man above today. He is 80 years old and as fit as a fiddle ^^

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Dreams . . . .

It is good to have dreams and it is okay to build castles in the air. You can build castles in the air, and strengthen it with foundations of pillar later.

My simple dream : A dream which seems to be as easy as ABC to many. But to me, it is almost like impossible to achieve. Yes, I want to be a mother, a graceful and understanding wife, a wife who brings support to the man I love, A wife to bring warmness to my family man. I want to be a great wife to the man I love, like a lamb and a Lion at work. I am task in leadership anointing, I know how will it be like for my career and ministry. I saw it this morning, I know I have a greater task to do in educating the layman. I see myself in public speaking and seminars but well, Life will never be complete with my assigned task of a family woman. I can't seems to shake the man I love away, he is just planted so deeply into my heart. I can't possibly interchange this love for another male species. Even when another male species come heeling after me, I cant bring myself to like them, needless to talk about loving them. It seems like I am cornering myself into a dead end to my dream.

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I can't bring myself not to love my hubhub. I have to withstand critics of people scolding me stupid for loving someone who is not worth to be love even till today. Some people even taught me to hate him, disconnect from him, stop praying for him. He only knows how to get you into shit. But in times doing the right thing means being different from what the majority are doing. It takes alot of courage to continue loving him, praying for all goodness in him and doing many things without him knowing. My God sees it and I am just doing what God tells me to do. Back this man up even when criticism arise, speak up for him when others slanders him even when people scold me for being stupid. I did what I was told. Sometimes this is what happens, when someone can't do it, they try to condemn. That is human nature. Sometimes people cannot understand why am I so forgiving, how did I do that? How to forget the past hurts and lead such a joyful life. Because they are not willing to give up pride and they dont have the courage to bless the people who hurt them before, in their heart, the resendment is imprisoned.

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My physical is small and skinny but Look what is inside. Can you see the capacity of my heart? Can you see what is my heart made of ? It is made up of LOVE, FAITH, HOPE, JOY AND PEACE. I may look weak and small from the outside, but I am strong because I have the courage to continue loving this man and praying for him everyday. I have the boldness to continue loving him even he is not by me. That is what I am made of. This is my Love for him.

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Prayers: God I pray for protection for my hubhub, protect him when he drives, protect him from harm. God cut away his procrastination and make him a great man of great works. I love him.

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Had many friends on my prayer list today : I prayed for you guys and God will shine gifts in your life.

. Melissa you're on my list ^^ Holly you're on my list ^^ Mervin you're on my list ^^ Xiaoli you're on my list ^^ Mervyn you're on my list ^^ Ting and husband you're on my list ^^ Janet you're on my list ^^ The girl whom I dont know her name'only met her once at his place, you're on my list ^^ Daddy kong you're on my list too !! ^^

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I did my longest prayers today : Time to sleep now. Its 2am in the morning.

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Hubhub: One day if God decided to let you take a peek at my prayers folder, dont be too amazed with the amount of prayers and blessings I've sent in to God with all my heart and soul for you ^^ Love you never lesser.

Day 114

Day 114
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Hundred and fourteen days had passed and I still love the smelly more than yesterday ^^ + with a touch of Joy even he is not by my side.

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I've never appreciate early morning, but recently I come to love morning. Especially Sunday Morning ! I will always have breakfast Sunday morning at 8am before lessons. Today I had my American breakfast at Orchard Hotel. Nice lovely scramble mushroom with egg, bacons, harshbrowns . . . juices, tea and pastries. What a peaceful morning !

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In between my lessons during my break, I took my Aeromatic watch for repair, and landed myself in Tanglin mall. After that, I went in for a wonderful accupunture massage. Ok ! Now I can fully understand the experience of accupunture massage I used to do on my hubhub. It is painful and shiok at the same time! In some parts it is really itch for me and the lady press on the points like below my Armpit. I almost feel like jumping up. But I endured. At the end of 50 mins. It feels like a whole body release. It is damn good, I picked-up a few more accupunture points. I know what to do when I see you ( maybe one day ) ^^

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Home and start my packing of cupboard like I promised myself last night before bed. Woah !! crazily messed up cupboard. I found this blocks of wood hubhub gave me years ago and they collected so much dust. It is a whole wooden furnitures to be assemble. I took them out and I decided to assemble them, one piece every week until one day they are all complete. Haha . .in the past he told me, no money to have a home, give you a set of fake one first. Nah . . you go assemble. I only managed to assemble the grandpiano at that time which is now sitting in his house or maybe its already being dumped. hmmm . ..

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I done up with the toilet bowl first. That reminds me of fixing the toilet bowl seat with my hubhub many many months ago before he left me. So funny * Someone even wanted to drill the toilet Bowl :S * Thank God he didn't or else his mum will end up renovating the toilet instead. Smelly hubhub, I decided to mail my newly fixed up toilet bowl to him. It is a cute mini wooden toilet bowl. ^^

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Dream . . . .

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What is your dream? Everybody has their own. While for mine is a more than simple, a dream everyone feels it is not to categorise as a dream. Because they feel it is normal for human to achieve it. Well my dream . . . . . . . very simple yet it is kind of impossible to achieve for me. I will talk about it in my next post.

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Prayers: God bring many many joy and laughter into his life. I love him, and I miss him. Thou I am not the one bringing laughters to his life. God please let someone be. Please bless my love hubhub with happiness. Not for me, but because I love him.

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Day 113

Day 113 with all of you with me always ^^
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I woke up later than usual, got to wake up at 6.30am from mondays to friday. Therefore waking up at 8am in the morning turns into luxury to me in a twitch of time. I bought new sticker books for my lovely students and the boys were so fascinated with my BEN 10 stickers. Haha ^^ many of them evolved into very obedient boys all of a sudden. I received a withheld call during my teaching hours; wondering who was that; either Holly or 13 sister. Nah wrong answer. Fulala called in the morning, I couldnt recognise his voice in fact. ^^

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I had to rush down to Expo hall immediately after teaching. Its my 1st day of serving as the Greeter today ^^ I have to get myself familiarise with the whole Expo Hall 1 in order to serve my post effectively ^^ It is fun serving the ministry and I met many many new friends. I served the talking hands corner where all the disabled were. * Smiles * They turned out to be the motivators in my life with their happiness and joyful hugs.

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Its a crazy packed Saturday. It is tired but enjoyable ! Fellowship with my cellgroup members and I headed down to Indochine Raffles to run for the 2nd half of my evening. Finally home sweet home at 3am in the morning after Lunar. Nights. I am teaching at 9am the next morning, and I swear that I will pack up my cupboard tomorrow.

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Prayers: Praying for my naughty that life of he's to be wonderful and great. I pray that little things will touch his life and make him smile true from his heart. God I pray for Joy in my hubhub. I love him please continue to protect him from harm as I pray faithfully for him everyday. I love you always.

Day 112

Day 112

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I had an early morning, Paul sent me down to office for claim submission. I spent my afternoon reading my book at the beach alone and it is so peaceful. I drove down to Sentosa, had a swim in the sea, saw people playing on the 1km long flying fox. Pretty cool man ! I learn to keep myself peaceful, refresh my mind, meditated, hear the voice God has in my heart. How wonderful life is with gracefulness, my gift from God of forgiveness and forgetfulness. This is Joy, Peace and Love. Thank you heavenly father !

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The followings are my lesson God gave during my quiet time and prayers I had at the beach:

Hubhub and I have this pair of joint heart which are so close to each other. But this 2 hearts used to knock against each other. For today, I say: I dont want to have this pair of joint hearts anymore. I want to have just 1 heart.

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Half of he's and half of mine.

Therefore in order for 2 hearts to become 1, both of us have to scarify. I am doing my best to cut away the half of my heart. Training and enduring every single day. To cut away the other half of my heart. To cut it away is challenging. On my ends, I have to cut away my jealousy, my anxiety, my egos, my pride, my blaming, my resentment, my bitterness, my uncaring, my paranoid, my selfishness and all bad trails I bear.

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I want to retain the remaining goodness, kindness, peace, love, faith, generosity, caring, selflessness, patience, understanding, faithfulness and gentleness. All these gifts will only be trained if only I endure and get grind in the grinder. Finer and finer each day. Burned under intensive flame and pressure to make it shine like diamond. My remaining goodness is only for my hubhub. I will walk everyday in faith of refining myself. It is tough but I am willing.

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I want my hubhub to experience the kind of peace when he is with me. Just like the peaceful homely love he used to experienced with me. After all the challenges we went through, I lost this ability of peace in me. I want to get it back into me again. I know I have to press it on.

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I do not know if my hubhub is doing that as well ? But this burning faith in my heart tells me, he is trying to. My hubhub is trying to be better and better each day. I have faith in him. He is my always my love, my only love yesterday, today and tomorrow.

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My love hubhub, even when my heart is broken into pieces by you before, every single piece of my heart will still shout I Love you to you! That is how much I hold you so dear to my heart. I know you will make me smile again.

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I have the faith in you my dearest hubhub, but will you believe in me as well ? ^^

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One day, Two straight lines will meet again, by the time they meet, they will combine, become One straight line, shinning and charging at One single direction.

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I miss you so much hubhub ! Alot of people say he is lucky to have me. But I feel the other way round. I am more than lucky to have him.I am blessed to have him. Agape-love for my man hubhub. Smelly, you are my ISAAC, as precious as father Abraham's only Son named ISAAC. Father Abraham has no Son until he had ISAAC at age 100 and his wife Sarah age 90. That age to have a son ! where it is almost impossible. Can you imagine how precious ISAAC is ? Hubhub is my Isaac and that is how precious hubhub is to me.

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Prayers: God I pray for peace to fall onto my hubhub, to rest his mind well everynight. Father please protect his body so he will not be clumsy to hurt himself while working out in the gym. I am not around to give him back rub and hug him tight. Lord take away all his back stress and aches. I love my hubhub.

Day 111

Day 111
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The difference between Innocent and Virtue
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Can I have a show of hands who thinks innocent is better than virtue?
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Innocent not equal to Strong

Virtue equals to Power

Power equals to being tested and proven PASSED!

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Therefore, lets talk about faithfulness.

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# -1 - Innocent

If you and your wife was stranded in an island. Just the 2 of you and some coconuts trees. Imagine castaway, something like that. And the man say : YEAH ! I AM FAITHFUL TO MY WIFE ! I do not commit to any adultery. I am a good man ! What do you think? We can only say that, well that man is innocent, he do not have a options to commit adultery. And he cannot Fuxk a coconut tree.

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#-2 - Virtue

If you and your wife lives in a big city, full of seductions and temptations. Everywhere is seductions ! Women all over, liqour, lies and everything. But You say, YEAH! I am faithful to my wife ! I do not commit adultery ! Because you self control yourself and knows that your wife will be the one who stays with you through ups and down, be there for you during difficult times. That is Virtue. Virtue = Power, and Power = being tested,proven and passed.

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So now ladies: Do you want to marry a man of virtue or an innocent man ?

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P/s: Boy * mingshun* you dont fall into the category of innocent ok, you are a man of Virtue, tested and proven. Dont let that self control go pass you, bind that in your heart. Every of my friends loves you la. Everyone treats you like a younger brother just like how I treat you ^^

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It is common for people to go through seductions and temptations. Well, I want to be a person of Virtue bind with the right morals and discipline. Faithful and one hearted to the only Naughty Smelly ! Let time and temptations test me. I want Power, the Power of being tested,proven and passed.

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Good night People ! Another day of 6.30am Prayer Meeting ! Yeah ^^

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Prayers: God please bind good values into the heart of my hubhub! My hubhub is never a bad person to start with. Lord, please protect my smelly. I do not need any returns from him. I will like to exchange all my love into windows of blessings of greatness in my hubhub's life. I love this man, God please move in his life and take away those bad bad things in his life and replace it with goodness ^^ Love you hubhub.

Day 110

Day 110

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想你的时候，

就看看我们以前拍过的照片，

幸运，

我们还有过去合拍的机会。

想想你的微笑，

想想你的可爱，

想想你的好，

想想你认真做饭的样子，

想想你欺负我，而笑我的样子。

好久没有听见你那快乐的笑声了，

虽然没有机会听见，

但也很打从心里祝福你，

每一天都会有快乐的笑声!

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Prayers: For my love and misses for my hubhub increases everyday, God you bring on more blessing to him and greater opportunities to his career. I thank God for the protection over my hubhub, I panicked when I overhear the news of the fire in chinatown building. Thank God that, it is not the building hubhub/his mum shop is located. God please continue to protect my love for I want to exchange my love for him into positive and great blessings for his daily life.

Day 109

Day 109
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He is a true real man.
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I seen another side of this man. A true Responsible Real man. You know dear Cindy, you got yourself a real great family husband.Your husband is a remarkable young man at this age. The kind of responsibility he shoulders. Amazing ! I learn from this young man and learn about how much he scarifies for his family he loves so much. He can do so much for the household, getting expensive gifts for people he loves but humbling himself wearing a piece of torn singlet. Many may think that, well he is just another richman's son driving a Porsche but that is not the case. He is the sole-bread winner of the family. His dad doesnt work anymore, he is supporting his younger brother's studies in UK and he is the headman taking care of the entire household. He runs and bring in sales in their business, gives allowances to his dad and pays for everything in the family. I can say he is the provider. He is a MAN and he is only 25 this year. Many people out there maybe physically a man but mentally still a boy. You maybe 35 this year, reading my blog, but a boy in you. Because you do not want to shoulder responsibilty. Do you know It is only responsibility and true commitments differentiate a boy from a man. Man! Micheal you are the youngest few on my list of a remarkable man.

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Responsibilty

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Well I have a few friends/mentor I do admire, some married, some not. Of course my daddy kong is one of them. Wee Sin is one of them. But I have to say that they are actually people like you and I. Who had been through tons of Shits and crap, some maybe born with a sliver spoon but they still been through great emotional breakdowns, pains and brokenness. But here they are, and that makes who they are right now. I admire you guys ! Remarkable people make great leaders. If you are wondering why are you always a follower, Or maybe you think you are a leader, But leading for a wrong reason. The answer for it : People only follow a leader with true dignity, true commitments and responsible leader. Maybe you think you are a leader, but in fact you are just another lost sheep looking for a Shepherd. You might have the potential of a great leader but well you just murder it with pride and selfishness. Life is short, probably only a good 80 years? I am 25 now and at this age 25 marks my turning point. I've already live a quarter of my lifespan. I had been a utter crap for the past 25 years not being the excellence of who I should be. I am not saying that I am lousy, but I could be better. If you are thinking that you have another 5 or 10 years to waste till you hit 30 or 40 years old, well . . . . time to think about it. By the time the children of your peers had already finish their PSLE and you are still lingering in your self indulging worldly comfort. And By the time you really decides to have a family, get ready to play football with your son when you are 55 years old in which someday you might not even live to see your grandchildren.

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So for those men tune in my blog and had been in a relationship leading to a marriage : Time to tune in this responsible man challenge. I am talking about you Roy, time to tie Joze down and be her shepherd. She is forever a lost sheep.

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For those who are married and tuning in my garden regularly, Wife support your husband and encourage him in things he does, be understanding towards the family because the role of the wife is to be a support to your husband. Husband you must love your wife. You are not forced to make the vow, it is because you love her.

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As for me I believe in love, it is just that my love is a lost sheep. * smiles * Nevertheless, it is fine with me. I trust God to plan my life and I have no worries. God is planning for the best for me.

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Night everybody !

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Prayers: God I pray for my hubhub, where my love for him can be exchanged to become blessings to him in all walks of his daily life. I do not ask for a return from him and he does not owe me any favors. Let my amount of love to him turn into opportunities in his career, strength of overcoming and a joyful smile from his heart. I love him and God please protect him.

Day 108

Day 108
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Pastor Kong is back in town and he will be teaching us on the Romans book, One of the most incredible book of the Bible written by Apostle Paul. A church in Rome :St Pauls chapel is built for this Apostle Paul, one of the Disciple of Lord Christ. If you have a bible, just read through the book of Romans. If you think that the bible is just a piece of crap and words which doesnt make sense. Tell me again after finish reading the book of ROMANS. Well you do not need to be a Christian to read a bible or understand it. As long as you are not stupid you will understand it ^^ by the way, Paul is a fisherman, if he can write this Book of Romans, it is sure that you will understand it. Happy reading on the Book of Romans.

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My Rehma on Romans:

God says this to me: You can rejoice even when you face tribulations and trials, as you know I am with you. Because through this tribulations you develop endurance, and endurance develops strength of character and character strengthen your confident and faith. This will bring you hope that will not lead to disappointment.

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Prayers: God I pray for my endurance is the power of hope. The hope, that will bless my hubhub in all area of his life. May my prayers for blessings in greatness for hubhub by confessing 1000 times each day storms in and break his curse in procrastination and replace it with joy and happiness in his heart everyday. God please protect the man I love.

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Randomly in book of luke or something I read this:

I find it very funny when the swine committed suicide by jumping off the cliffs into the sea when the 200 demons possessed them. Imagine 200 pigs fly down the cliff and suicided. How comical ..... if there were fishermen fishing around that area, they will see 200 flying pigs, and shout : Yeah ! we fished Pigs instead of Fish today ! Anyway the bible never say anything about the Pigs anymore. The fishermen were made-up by me. hhahahaaa. . . . .

Day 107

Day 107
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Thankful for inner joy ! I haven been so Happy for soo long ^^ True happiness, my heart is constantly jumping out in joy everymoment !!!!! Ya.HOoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITs SO GREAT to be Free from Bondages !!!!!!! WAaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

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P/s: All my dearest who sees this post, if you are really unhappy about life. Go for a deliverance ! Whether Christian or not Christian doesnt matter. No need to care. Our Lives need to be free from past hurts. That is the only to gain freedom in heart and to SHOUT I AM REALLY SO HAPPY TRUE FROM YOUR HEART! Anyway no one will care about you during deliverance services. You believe got GOD NO GOD also nevermind la. Treat it as a seminar. What matters is end of the day you RECEIVE so much JOY and pay nothing for that. Good deal right . . . ^^ buzz me. Mike Cornell is doing Deliverance end of May in Asian Conference. RSVP with me for Seats yeah ! :p Stay Happy everyone!

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I need to wake up at 4.30am tomorrow morning ! Love: Prayers meeting ~ ~ I need to meet my director tomorrow afternoon for my sales reporting. Although this month, cases not really as expected. But why am I still so HAPPY ? Geeee. . . . . Me and my joyful soul ! Let tomorrow worry for itself. I know I will be well-taken care of, my appointments in the evening will be fruitful ! I have holy spirits and GOD in me ! As long I do my part, work as I have to, GOD moves and bless my finances ! 30 Folds 60 Folds 100 Folds !

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No need to worry about finances anymore, how great life is when GOD is my provision. Probably my hermes brikens will come soon ^^ My God is a rich Father, Rich in everything, being his child, how can I be POOR ? I will be rich in Love, Rich in finances, Rich in life and Rich in grace !

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PRAYERS: Father, make joy in my hubhub! ^^ always smiling from the inside ^^ Make him Rich too ! Hug you la big booooleee (Bully) ^^ We make peace ok * shows the peace sign with 2 hands up* Love you big big kiss. MUACKS !!!!!! Good night. Smelly . . . heheeee . .

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Oh yeah, before I forget, I think Vaness is pretty cool about his confessions, Gahz.... lolx this is probably the 1st time I think he is cool. lolx. Anyway, I guess he will be there for Asian conference, Probably Liu GengHong, hopefully Mr Zhou dong, they are all from sister's church. Sorry there is no celebrity weekend this year, I think. mmm. Seriously I will really find it WEIRD if I hear Jay Chou singing worship songs in his R&B ways ? ? blur . . .

Day 106

Day 106
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I want to SCREAM !!!!!! DAY 106 ROCKS MAX TO DE CORE !!!!!!

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The day I understand, received my finest moment of release.
You ask me why and what happened? We/I had a major deliverance today.
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What happened?
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Our topic today is Forgiveness and true forgiveness is to forget the hurt someone you love the most had done on you.
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Today I lifted up all my hurts, torments, bitterness, anger in a cup palms and lifted it into the mighty hands of my Lord my God.
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Everything comes flashing back my mind yesterday, I realised even when I said I forgives my smelly, but deep down it is just locked up. Once in a while the devil will unleash it and whip it without mercy making it so painful in my heart. That is the reason why, I will cry when I am spending time with my hubhub.
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I finally disperse it and forgives truly with no resendment and hurt.
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This is what happened and the images that flows through my mind when God is releasing my anger, my bitterness, my broken heart, my hurt and my pain.
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I was brought back to the day I fell so badly heart-broken. I have to unlock and face it. God sees everything and he says I am with you, leave all these into my hands. Here's my promise to you:
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My dear child;
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I will help you to forget, forget all the pain you have been through because I am your judge and I care. I will erase all these from you heart and restore you.
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I will help you forget those sleepless nights when you teared so much in pain because of heartache in infidelity of the man you love. I will replace them with peace and calmness in your heart where you will find joy.
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I will help you forget those nights and day when you walked away from his house in bitterness and tears crying for answers. I will replace with joy you remembered singings and practicing songs with your love at his place.
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I will help you forget those days and nights when you were warded in the hospital screaming and crying out of your broken heart. I will replace it with comfort you share with your love when he hugs you tight on the night train in Vietnam.
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I will help you forget the pain when you tried struggling plucking tubes off your wrists when you were warded, making blood flowing all over the place because you dont want to live anymore as the pain of this heartache is too unbearable. I will replace it with the comfort warm hug by your love telling you he will protect you when he hugs you in his warm arms when you fainted at his house.
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I will help you forget the shame you faced when you needed to see a psychiatrist or else you will be admitted in the hospital again. I will replace it with the joy you find laughter when your love splashed water on a bus-stop of people.
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I will help you forget the 4 days and night you are locked out from the world crying day and night suffering from this bad trauma. I will replace it with joy you remember catching the meteor shower with your love on the multistorey carpark.

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I will help you to forget the pain and agony you faced when you have to put on an act to be happy infront of everyone and you are dying inside. I will replace it with the joy your love teases you and gives you a big hug after that telling how much he loves you.

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I will help you forget those fear and resendment you had when you sit beside your windows thinking to say Goodbye to the world. I will give you hope and light because you have me with you. When I am with you my child, there is nothing you should fear. I will not let resendment and bitterness blocks you up, for I am your heavenly father who will help you to forget all your pain.
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From today on, you will only remember the happy moments you spent with your love and never the bitter ones. I love you my dearest child.
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Your loving father
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I cried so hard, not for the hurt I've been through but the word God told me straight to my heart, the visions and pictures God painted right in me.
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ON THIS DAY 106 : I SAY: HUBHUB !! I AM JOYFUL BECAUSE I TRULY FORGIVES AND I WILL FORGET EVERYTHING YOU PUT ON ME. THERE WILL BE NO POST OF WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST ANYMORE. ALL THOSE HURTS WILL BE ERASE COMPLETELY FROM TODAY ON. And as I walk on to love you more each day ! All the past hurts will never be stumbling blocks in me anymore. I love you hubhubie and I want to love you ONLY with joy each day!
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To all my dear friends: I've found my true joy because I let it go, so I can continue to love him without any grumblings and resendments. I know many of you guys cannot forgive him for the hurts he had done on me. If I am the one in this situation who can forgive and forget, why cant you guys :)
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To my hubhub: If I really received and forgives for the past, you forgives yourself for all the hurts you put in me too. Because I love you so Dont blame yourself anymore. Do not let the past torment each of us any further. Let it disperse in us. I will always be loving you like ever more NOW with no more bitterness ^^
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This post day 106 is a joyful Post,
I am finally released

There is NOT A SINGLE tear in putting up this post.

I really released,

Because I've decided to publish my darkness and fear,

darkness no one ever knows about how bad I was suffering from.

No One ever know what a bad shape I was when Im warded and seeing my psychiatrist,

not even my bestfriend knows about that.

I let them all go away today,

with a great wide smile.

Dont cry people when you read my Day 106

because I just received my freedom to my heart.
Thank you GOD!
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Isaisah 40: 31
Those who wait for the Lord, who expect, look for hope in him shall get all the strength.
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Praise the Lord

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How great is our God.
He happens in my life, I believe because he let me feel him.

I've found this Place,

A charismatic church,

to sing, dance and shout out for freedom,

its a happy place,

even if you think by giving offerings is spending money,

Well . . . we cant say we are spending money when the money is returned back to us in

: 30 folds : 60 folds : and 100 folds.

^^

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After Service
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SAMY CURRY @ Dempsey

I never know Indian Curry Fish-head can be so yummy ! I practically finished like 60% of the pot. Gee.e. Anyway we had 3 pots of Curry fish head so . . gagaaa. . . Most of the time I spent picking fishmeat for dear Desmond. Arghh.h.h. ... Desmond cant eat spicy food.
Sherry !! She is like a loving big sister to me always.
^^
Desmond and his forever kind of smile,
* Roll eyes * Desmond and his 24 pieces of Tickets For JAY CHOU Concert.
He just misused his role as a Fund manager to booked the Tickets.
Sibei Kiasu,
next time when I see his Girlfriend, I tease abit.
Hardcore JayChou fans, Flew to Taiwan to catch his concert.
Dah. . . He is Desmond.
and
Chillout @ the hills
Allen Gege . . . ^^
I want to watch his past HK movies and TVB dramas,
but I dont know where can I find.
Old School man!

She is the girl Shirely, I tell you, her complexion is FLAWLESS,
and guess her age.
Shhhhhh....... just add 5 years more to whatever age you are guessing ^^

Bye everyone and Good night
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Prayers: continue loving him in a better way. God you are great! Shine in his Life and make him super duper WONDERFUL like superman! I love my hubhub everyday ^^ Even when you are so smelly smelly ^^ 爱你宝贝!

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Pssssshhhhh. . . I secretly asked God if he will provide me with a NEW Louis Vuitton never full purple colour or a NEW PRADA couche . . . . God never reply me and he walked away. I think God is thinking of giving me a Hermes Brikens instead ^^

Day 105

Day 105
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Yet it is another fulfilling day I've committed to Lord my God. Collected premium from my client, minister to existing client and my evening appointments are all fulfilled.

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As I confess in words from my mouth I know whatever God has shown me in my heart will come to past one day. Our faith has to be new everyday and our mind of refreshment has to be new everyday. To break the curse of procastination in which I am a pro in that many months ago, the spirit of overcoming has taken place.

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We need power of overcoming. My hubhub needs power of overcoming, as I confess and pray hard for him tonight, God moves. God knows I love this man very very much, and God will move in his life. By the power of faith, we can change, we will transform lives and we break the curse of negativity and demeaning of our self-worth.

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I love my man

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I love my man hubhub very much, my love for him has put him so close to my heart. My love for him has breakthrough many obstacles, many tribulations and that was when I realised I still love him not any lesser. My love in him brings on faith and love him even though he is not by my side. Will there be anyone who degrade my hubhub, who dont believe in him, who doubt him, but I say for I love him, I trust him, I have faith in him truly and deep down in my heart he is always my greatest love. I want to give everything that is good to him, even at times by sacrificing for him brings on sadness and pain in me. I accepted it. Even when so many people criticises me, rebaked me and said I should not love him because he is so bad to me. I said No, and defended my man. He is my love, for who, who doubt him and wants to bring him down in my heart, he is never worth any lesser in my heart. Because this amazing love has bring me to one level that I will not blame him, I will forgive him, I will not reject him even he take things for granted, for him, he knows that who I am and what kind of love I am made of, for him.

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He knows, I am never against him and I will be forever there for him when he needs me. Dont criticise and say that it is unfair for me. Deep in my heart I never take things that way. Whatever things happened of how I am treated or it seems doesn't deserve it, God will make it up for me. With God on my side, and the two other powerful lawyers - Son Jesus and Holy spirits, what can be against me. Believe in the power of faith people.

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Although at times I will grumble abit to you my hubhub, dont take it to heart. You just have to understand my heart, I am a human, there will be times I do wrongs by being an irritation to you. I am flesh and blood, my heart is fragile as well, I will feel sad when you vex your frustrations on me, when you turn away from me and when you know I am concern for you.

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I do not need you to understand or feel when I tear and leave your arms a week ago. I just have to accept that is you. * Takes a deep breathe and smile * and for who I love is you even if I dont deem any respect from you.

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Prayers: I pray for hubhub, for love is from God, there is a purpose why hubhub is secure so tightly in my heart. So I pray God to take away all his intimidation, give him light/courage and give him the power of overcoming ! God, poke his heart and talk to him, bring him to another level in greater height. God you make way for him because with all the scarifies I sow, I sow blessings for him as well. You will be an overcomer my hubhub. You never mean any lesser to me. As I love you very much. Grace.

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Its getting kind of tense. Let end of my post today with this:

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I will be here

Nights everybody;

Nights hubhub ^^

Day 104

Day 104

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I "Buanged" my praise leading today. All the hand signals with the Musicians "Buanged" All the Transpose, Bridge, Chorus and Landing "buanged" big time, especially when I am caught up in a early morning Flu. Sharks . . . . Totally no voice and I didn't live up to my expectation for the 1st round of evaluation. I am disappointment with my own performance, I should have be better.

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I abandon my 1st idea on sermon of peace and led by gut feelings I changed my sermon to There is only One God.

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On the 2nd round of my evaluation, I am preaching my self written Sermon on There is Only One God. I went totally on-form. Honor and Glory to be with God. Lord the Father led me on my Sermon and I went so deep into the sermon even on my running nose.

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Holy spirit reminded Eng Han's word to me, Eng Han prophesy to me 3 months ago saying: Seven, you will be a preacher one day. At that time, I went, * rolled eyes* wth . . preach, you are really kidding me. I dont want to preach, preaching sounds so auntie to me.

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My voice went to deep across the hall with power and conviction. I saw all eyes on me looking red and watery. I didn't blabber, throughout the sermon I went strong and with power to change. I have Strong faith in lord and what he instructs me to do. At the end of the sermon, when I looked up, many of them were crying. After my prayers and Amen for Glory of Lord, I was applauded loudly across the hall.

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My evaluator applauded loudly for me, and commented on my Sermon as one of the most powerful sermon he has evaluated. This is not by me, but by God. Thank you God, with your anointing, I shine.

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With God on my side, what else can be against me? We have a choice to choose upon Blessing or Curse. I choose Blessings.

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I gave my offering and scarifies which touched my heart. I tears when I gave my offerings, my offerings is not only money, but my scarifies and heart for God. God hears my cry and any offering that touches your heart touches God as well. My offering yesterday is one of the largest amount I've gave.

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Prayers: God as you shower blessings, protects my heart and take care of my finances, God shower blessings onto my hubhub as well. Give him the strength and power of overcoming, the heart that you want him to be. Because I know God you love me, you will love the man I put so close to my heart as well. God please move in his life. Take away all the curse and replace them with blessings instead.

Day 103

Day 103
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I am finally done with my preaching sermon tomorrow. Finally @.@ !!! Argh . . . My sermon tomorrow is about In Search of Peace. I am horribly tired. I need a swim ! Heading to Parkview after blogging.

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I have to finish my book reading, and my appointments . . . . Thank God for filling me up my work schedule, GOD you are my provider.

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Dear all friends, I am really packed up with work lately, We will catch up soon yeah! I miss you girls.

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My hubhubie: Love you de *chou chou* Miss you very much and I want to cuddle in your arms. Do you miss me ? Chou Bao bei :p

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Wedding dinners: ARgghhghhhhh . . . . . So many wedding dinners coming month. Errr. . . . Sigh I dont like to attend wedding dinners. Please dont bark me in weddings anymore. Yes, I am bitter ^^ booo . . . and I know I wont get married.

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Busy Thursday; Morning Sermon test, Leading Praise, followed by appointments follow-ups, appointment and Business Breakthrough in the evening. It will be another heavy day tomorrow. I have so many follow-ups to do. Ahemz. Well that's my job ^^ Hahaa

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Prayers: Lord father, please touch my hubhub with the gift of wisdom to understand his topics for exams on Friday. Get the distractions off his way when he is trying to focus. God fully understands my heart. Father bless this man I love with all my heart, rain blessings of greatness on him. God you know that I love him very much, please protect him. I love you hubhub ^^ More than yesterday and lesser than tomorrow.

Day 102

Day 102
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Had one of the longest day ever from 8am till 12mn. My day tomorrow starts at 6am. It is my first assessment for Wednesday and Thursday.

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I am leading praise and words. I need to prepare a sermon message and I know God will anoint my message on Thursday and touch soul of people. My life experience, my testimony of Christ. The sermon on Salvation.

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Not many of you guys hear about my testimony. For those who did, probably only 4 of you guys. Val told me she cried when she read my testimony at Lunar.

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Schedules next week, YEAH! Pastor Kong is leading us next week and I am excited to hear his message. For the whole of next week, my day will start at 5am every morning. Lessons at 6.30am.

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I am tired.

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Prayers: No matter how tired my physical might be, I will still pray for you love. For God is the giver and the light of hope. God please open doors for my hubhub, open doors of opportunity, light and miracles. Take away all the uncertainty of hubhub and guard him toward the good. I love this man, our provider heavenly father please be his provision. Loving you with all I can give.

Day 101

Day 101
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It is a great morning, Dr John Bevere is the speaker for today. He a sauve and attractive man! A Grand-dad. But of course he doesn't look like one. He is so charismatic and you won't mind falling for him. hhaha.

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Early afternoon, I was home doing assignments and book reading. 40 Chapters review in Going Towards Perfection for assignments and 10 mandatory books to read from now till June. 10 book reviews to be hand up in June. 5 non-mandatory books to read. Although it is April in current, It is heavy. Mock-cell-group leading tomorrow till 6pm followed by a quiet talk in the evening at East coast park is burning off the whole of Tuesday tomorrow. Wow, in year 2010 is going to clock the most number of books read ever in my life and the bible is excluded in my list.

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I met Mervyn up at Serangoon Gardens, desserts and catch up. Speaking about alot things which happened lately in our lives. It's a nice to be catch up. Keep you in my prayers list tonight Mervyn ^^

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Headed down to East Coast Road at Enghan's place to meet the guys up. Fellowshipping, molten warm chocolate and yummy medium rare steak at 11pm. So delighted to taste the molten chocolate, with hot chocolate oozing out of the sponge cake. Yumz.

I guess I am having kind of too much of desserts today ^^

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Daiso

Someone told me I can get this at Daiso. I am really unsure if Daiso really has this. One each for every member in my cell-group.We really need this and Celest says it works ! Just do it man, a thousand time.

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I wonder what is my hubhub doing ? Sometimes it will be really great to feel each other's presence, lying side by side, speak nothing and enjoy the company of each other. ^^ Sigh I really ruined this moment last week. Why must all these kuku thoughts and feeling raise up when I am spending my quality time with hubhubie. Bind you spirit of bitterness ! Go eat shit and die, dont ever come back in my life anymore !!!!!!!!! + IN THE NAME OF JESUS ! It has been long since the 2 of us spend time on activity together. I dont think I have the kind of chance/luxuries. * Giving a great wide smile always * , those were the days, we canoe, cook, do grocery . . . . Well . . . . its okay this will only bother me, he wouldn't bother about such stuffs anyway. That's my hubhub, and I love him.

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Prayers: Another day of spirit filled mind, now I pray for a refresh mind for hubhub, a healthy body and a suave baobei ^^ !! I love you hubhub now and everyday.

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For the *chou chou* I love: I guess I have to say this and I apologise for not doing enough at times for you hubhub when you wish I could. I am imperfect which is why causing distress in you at times, harping on answers and more answers from you. Will you forgive me ? I love you de la chou chou. *pout lips*

Day 100

Day 100

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I will not take it, unless God says I can, for he is my guidance, my saviour and he reigns in my life. I will wait patiently, for God will give what is best for me.

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Thanks Melissa ^^ I fully understand what you mean ^^ hugs. I will abide in his words and be a vessel for God. It is God who taught me how to love, forgive and continue loving.

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Day 100 and loving this man with all I can where I understand he is still uncertain. He is still rocking from side to side. But it is alright my hubhub, I will be always there for you, loving you more than you can ever imagine. Heavenly father place you in my heart for a reason and does the same to you for a reason as well. We are one love that both of us cant comprehend. We can never explain why I love you so much and why you love me till today.

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We fairly have equal great candidates flashing in and out of our lives. Why we didnt fall in love with them ? Dr Ju is definitely a great fine man. A young and successful doctor for his age who asked for my hand. In fact I have this dream to get married to a doctor and this came true. But my heart is not moved at all despite of all the things he did. I dont love him and rejected him from the start. In fact God can take you away from my heart, and make my dream come true. But that didnt happen. God secure you so tightly in me, and told me to press on, wait patiently for his instructions and I am going to be fruitful.

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When I pray to God, you came into my mind each and every time. I command to bind my distractions, cast away the devil. But you are still there lingering in my mind. After so many weeks and months, God made me understand that you are not my distraction. You are my strength, my strength of love, my strength of faith and my strength of believe. For each and everytime I prayed for you hubhub, I believe in you. I pray for God to make you even better each day. I do not ask for any returns. This is an unselfish love God wants me to attain and you are the one to encounter these.

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I never imagine I can do this to someone like you, who bashed me emotionally like a rollar coaster ride over and over again. ^^ But true enough, I didnt love you any lesser.

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亲爱的宝贝；我真的会爱你好久好久，我不知道好久最长的期限，可我知道它最短的期限是一辈子 :) 能够用一辈子去爱你也算是一种幸福吧。对你那种满满的爱而走完这辈子，相信不是每个人都能拥有的。我想我算是幸运的^^

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Prayers: God made me work as you move. ^^ Be there for my man when he face uncertainty and deadworks. Loving father, speak to him through his heart, for he who will recognise your voice one day, will find that; the day the decision he made gives peace and serene in his heart, is the voice of yours. I love him and love means wanting him to be good and happy in all ways even when I am not by his side. Grace

。有一天你会明白的 ^^

Day 99

Day 99
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To be exact, day 99 and 98 seems to just merge into one. My day 98 ended at 6am in the morning leaving the arms of my hubhub and start with work in the morning. I had some kind of weird feelings the day I left his arms. This question of doubt and uncertainty. I start questioning myself of what do he want from me? What if I end up in another drop-bitter resendment with hubhub again? There is this feeling which tells me, he do not want to commit into anything. He will not dare to.

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I left and board the cab with sad feelings hounding in me, fear came and saddness surround. I was being denied 3 times by this man I love so much. I tried to comprehend with my own knowledge but I am just getting nowhere out. At that moment, I left God out of my mind.

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I was late for church, Rushed on my heels to expo I am so super duper late. I was mumbling to myself, PLEASE . . . Dont start the sermon before I reach, Pastor Kong wait for me. I need my answers to this saddness in my heart. Why ? * There is nothing about confession and stuffs, dont be silly, God dont really work that way * Everything is about an answer. So many uncertain situations/worries/etc in life, So God please help me.

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45 mins late. I ran in, thank God, The band group 3PM just finished their performance, Just Right Argh . . . Pastor Kong Walked up. . . .

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Right up and 1st sentence Pastor Kong Speak; Right smacked on my face. Sermon today is about Self-control. Lust, anger, emotions and addictions.

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For the fear attacks I had been suffering from, I probably forgotten how I put God FIRST in my life. How I am that close to God. How can I forget that !!! How I prayed and how God became my provision and changed my life.

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That moment in church, I reconnected everything back and I was plugged into God's channel again. Everything muted, I felt God's presence like how I used to. Father came straight to my heart and told me, why do you doubt me for what I have told you. You see visions and you dream dreams. Why do you have so little faith with me? I love you my child, seek only me as I am the one who protect your heart. For my child, you will be fruitful and what I've promised you will come true. Wait patiently for me my child and this will not be too long. Tears rolled. Immediately all my worries were gone. I know for things not within my control, my dearest heavenly father will put back into place in his will. Because God loves me, and he will give me only the best.

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I received instant peace and all my worries/questions/paranoid left in a snap. I received the renewing of mind, fresh oil and anointing. We cannot live in yesterday's anointing, we need to be constantly renewed for a fresh of mind every single day.

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Thank you father my provision, my strength, faith, protection and guidance.

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Prayers: lord Father, you lookafter my hubhub, teach him walk as he will speak the words of truth. Because I love him so so much, I put my hubhub in your dedicated loving hands. Touch him your way and let him have encounters with you in your will. Grace.

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Smelly boo, haiz-ya . . . . I miss you de la super big bully. 你很讨厌的，就爱欺负!!我!! 疼我多一点会要你的命啊? :( 是不是因为知道我很爱你所以才这么舍得欺负我?