I looked back my posts and I realised that I've grown so much in maturity. I looked into my older post and I started laughing. How I was as a baby christian to now I am part of God's plan to touch others.
I looked at those immature things I blogged and did on my smelly wuly. Those things I used to do to numb and hurt myself. Those difficult things I did on my own strength to keep smelly wuly by my side.
All the selfish and immatured love had disappeared as I grew stronger and stronger with Christ. God truly stretches me, cut me and sliced me. What remain is a love which is real and pure.
God purifies me and took away the impurities in my heart. He burns me hot enough through fiery trials to let me release all these impurities into the nailed hands of Jesus so I no longer suffers from it.
What remains :
A love which is patient; love is kind, love does not envy; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs.
Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things.
This love can never see an end.
God gave me First Love, he blessed me and smelly. God changed the both of us with a new heart and he let us feel First love. Feeling first love with a man who hurt you so badly and someone you cannot forgive is totally impossible without God.
Forgiving is a part, forgetting the hurt is a part, giving is a part, blessing him is a part and caring for him is a part. All these bear off this fruit God bless us with. The solid fruit of Love.
When we are suffering and crying in pain, towards God he is painful too, he cries with us. But he have to do it, he aches more than we do when we suffer. As a father, our God, our creator he knows it all. Towards God our father, he knows what is ahead of us, these sufferings and pain is to produce wonderful fruits in us.
Love. Hope. Joy. Faith.
I love smelly so much even when he is not by my side. I can love him so unconditionally and without fearing of any disappointment. I love smelly wuly so much that I want the best for him.
I give all my decisions to God, trust all in him. I commit all decisions smelly hubhub is going to make into God's hand too. My faith is in my Father in heaven not with my smelly hubhub. God is ahead of me and he knows what is the best for me.
God can make me the best for him. God can make him the best for me. My Father in heaven is so generous to me that he will never withhold the best for me.
I never see the fullness of this until one day God spoke to me and told me this troublemaker smelly is my blessings. God appeared to smelly and told him that I am his blessings. God truly works in amazing ways, I was totally dumbfounded with words, I can only shout praises to him.
Father, thank you.
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