170 (2)

170(2)

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Glory to be with Lord.

I give thankgiving to father in heaven for using me so mighty.

My life is restored to change lives of others.

To walk in light and to be the salt to the world.

.

Word are not enough to express how much gratitude I have with God,

I just want to say,

Father in heaven thank you for loving me.

.

I met up with Victoria and she said this to me;

Seven; you will be like me, for 15 years ago I am like you.

I see shadows of my younger days in you now.

I shouted Amen! I claim it, that is the promise God has for me.

By the way,

Victoria is a multi-millionaire owning 5 paid off properties in Singapore, Australia and Canada.

East Coast, Marina Bay and of course Sentosa.

A mother of 4 kids and a happy family.

Victoria said: Work for God's kingdom for Father will bless you abundantly, you will never live in lack, because Father is using your hands to bless others.

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Seize what belongs to you!

CLAIM IT!

My dreams, my visions, my calling in the market place!

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Met Pastor Kong today;

I had been crying so much today when I met Pastor Kong.

Pastor Kong is my spiritual father,

my heart aches when I saw him.

I will never forget how Pastor Kong let me met my First Love who is Jesus Christ,

I will never forget how Pastor Kong helped me and restored my life,

I will never forget how Pastor Kong delivered my sorrows,

I will never forget how Pastor Kong help me to forget my pain and hurts in life,

I will never forget the helped he gave me.

You gave me a new life and you helped me up when I was broken in pieces.

Thank you for loving me Pastor and you never fail to lift me up whenever I fall.

Pastor Kong: Thank you!

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By the way,

talking about Sun and Pastor;

I just find it funny about the reports of Sun staying in a well-apartment blah blah . . .

The first thing which came into my mind,

taking money from church?

Maybe they are thinking that Ed Hardy and Skin Couture is some Pasar Malam Fashion?

They cannot earn a decent profit from it?

Hello . . . . . They are the top fashion in US and UK MTV wore by David Beckham, Paris Hilton and major celebrities!

Think about it!

Singaporeans should be proud that we have locals brands leading trends in the Ang Mo market!

We should be proud of our own nation and not condemn it!

When Sun is in Singapore and her ablums sell,

we think that its the church lar,

frankly I used to think it that way too back then..... lolx

But

Sun made it to the US Billboard!

Sorry hor,

the whole City Harvest didnt go Hollywood with Sun,

she do not have church support in Hollywood hor.

An Asian from Singapore, shouldnt we be proud of it,

She made the chinese proud.

But sad to say,

the world is made up of juicy news and critics.

I have to admit this is the broken world we live it.

.

And for my hubhub,

I am praying fervently for you without fail.

Father in heaven never fail in his plan to build you up in your career.

I am constantly praying for your career baby!

We had an agreement with God remember?

in A house of agreement is a house of POWER!

Be the head and never the tail !

God is with us always because

we prayed together with Christ Jesus as our witness ^^

.

Jehovah Shalom be with you always !

Day 171 (1)

Day 171

If you can understand hokkien,

this is a beautiful song.

Sang by ex-convict brother Kelvin who is in the same Theology course as I do.

I teared as I listen to his testimony.

thank you Jesus~

.

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Here's the English translation of the Song.

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Hold my hand,

Lord Jesus

Protect and watch over me I pray

Guard my heart and direct my steps

To follow you faithfully

Hold my hand,

Lord Jesus

Open a way for me

I pray Step by step,

following your footprints

Untroubled by the tough road ahead

Lord Jesus Christ I want to be your disciple.

.

Time to head down to church ^^

Day 170

Day 170

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When I start observing people,

walking in and out of church,

you see happy faces with a happy spiritual man,

you see happy faces with an unhappy spiritual man inside.

You see the broken hearted,

you see the brokenness in people,

you see spiritual babies,

you see spiritual matures giants,

Age doesnt goes with wisdom,

Age doesnt goes with physical maturity.

There are more than a million and 1 things to learn about people,

to see through their outer-covering and listen to their hearts.

It is the 2nd time I saw Ed,

from the waves he sent,

he is a broken man.

I've learn to feel the spirit-being in people,

you know,

sometimes I can cry for a stranger who suffered from brokenness,

my heart will just ache and start crying and tearing for that person even I do not know him or her.

I start praying in spirits for that stranger.

How weird that is right.

Some nights during spiritual prayers,

I will breakdown in tears I dont know why.

maybe I am crying for a friend who is suffering,

or

maybe it is you, . . . . you or . . . . you?

I dont know.

I just find this spirit being super amazing,

I never thought I can felt so much as if I am living in that person's shoe and you just start praying for that person.

This is the mystery of praying in spirits,

I dont understand what am I praying,

you dont understand what I am praying,

only God knows.

It is just a weird and funny language I mastered.

A language no-one understands except God.

I was praying one day,

and someone told me that I was speaking in Greek.

How amazing when I dont even understand what am I praying about.

Day 169

Day 169

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A letter to all my friends and readers:

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Dear all lovelies,

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I am really a nobody but another steward in Christ. But for God who has found me, a long lost child with God, he gave me everything I needed, or I should say, he gave me in abundance. He gave me self-worth and discovers the talents in me. This God gave a purpose in my life when I was once self- deluded. He gave me a new way to live when I self-destructed. He told me, I am a precious gem and wants me to work in his Kingdom. He breathe life into my soul and gave me strength to work the impossible. He heals my brokenness and gave me a life to live. My gratefulness with Lord is impossible to express in words. This God filled my heart with so much of Love since last Christmas 2009. I experienced his power and renewed mind when I choose to walk closer and closer to him. He taught me to love, he taught me to forgive, he taught me to give and taught to care. I know that the rest of my life is blessed for God my heavenly father is always by my side helping me to move the mountains and slay all the giants I have in my life. Mountains of stress were being lifted and giants of emotional pain were being taken away in my heart of brokenness.

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Dear all friends, I am encouraging all of you right now, live your life. Love yourself. Everyone is a gem in the eyes of the heavenly father may you be a believer or a non-believer. A father will never demean his own children. Maybe in life you are facing great Giants. But we have to understand this point. Waves of challenges will always be there. More than often, the challengers stay the same, it is us who shrink. That is why we see that challengers just get bigger and bigger. Dont be afraid or escape from what you are facing. We are born out of our mother's womb naked and with love and not fear. Dont fear my dear friends when you faced uncertainty or new changes in life. Dont let the self in you shrink to challengers. We are born out of the image of the heavenly father, he blow his breath into us. In each and everyone of human standing on earth, you have the breath of God. That is our confident. Dont demean yourself when others did, dont curse yourself when you are so precious in the eyes of God. I am giving each of you a great hug of encouragement right now, because I love you guys and that is the reason why you are reading this now. Maybe you are facing some issues you would want to change, but there are certain things you cannot overcome. Please my lovelies, believe in yourself like how I believe in you! You are wonderful and great friends in my life. A change in life needs courage, walk out in courage of beliefs right now, confident to walk a blessed life. A blessing or a curse, you choose it. I want to bless you guys because I love you, every single of my friends. You are my close circle friend, that is why you are reading this right now!

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For some lovelies who are leading a life not as what you expect, step out in faith, conquor the uncertainty, believe in yourself, claim the promise and dreams you used to have. Dont give up! Dont be dejected because of critics or fear! Remember, we do not have the spirit of fear. Cast them away! You guys are really wonderful creation, every single one of you are unique and I love you guys for who you are.

.

I end my letter in this prayer:

My dear father in heaven,

please give strength to all my friends who is now reading this entry,

anoint them with a fresh of mind,

reactivate the dreams you gave in their life.

Let those dreams resurface and give boldness to their spirit.

Give them the power to walk out and claim the promises and dreams you used to put in their heart.

For visions and dreams are from God,

and these promises God gave will not return void to him.

Father as I pray,

let them experience the spirit of encouragement and my love for each and every of them!

I earnest pray that all my friends will lead a blessed life!

I want to see everyone of you guys happy!

Father as I pray,

lift them up from their worries and depression,

let peace and joy fill their heart.

I pray in the mighty name of my lord Jesus Christ

Thank you father.

.

This is the song, I'll always tears in gratefulness and joy when I hears it.

If you are suffering from bitterness and resentment,

I hope this song soothe your heart with peace.

Day 168

Day 168

.

Was out with Arvin for dinner,

ran errands,

we went to sixth ave for brazilian food and

ended up Sharon's restaurant bar eventually.

A pretty nice and comfortable place.

K la, then that Arvin can watch his FIFA.

It was Shino who invited me down.

Met up with familiar people, and was bitching around with foyce in fact about our wigs fanatics.

.

Sometimes I really dont understand,

some people just like to act close and bitch about foyce behind her back.

Say this and that which doesnt even concern about you.

to me a friend is always a friend,

we are of no rights to judge needless to say to talk behind others back.

.

I was talking to another friend cc after foyce left our table.

Sometimes I really cannot understand why do people like to slander behind others back.

Hear about things regarding my hubhub again,

Some not so nice comments about him but I defended him of course.

I am really wondering,

who has been spreading those news about hubhub,

I really wondered.

Dont let me catch the one who had been spreading and bad-mouthing things about my guy.

I told cc that,

I know him well enough,

more than anyone of you guys.

Do not judge him when none of you knows him none better than I do.

You people dont know the head or tail,

stop spreading slandering statments.

.

Even we parted,

this hubhub holds high regards in my heart.

He is not like what you people said,

stop saying how pitiful am I to have him as my bf,

you people know nuts about who he is to me,

and who I am to him.

I do not need to explain to you guys so

stop those slandering remarks.

You people will not understand how important he is in my heart.

.

Day 167

Day 167

.

I was being reprimanded by my heavenly father today!

I think I am really too much,

I slept too much.

I missed school today.

I opened my bible as usual like I do everyday.

Argh . . .

This is what it spoke to me:

Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones.

Learn from their ways and wise up.

But you lazybones, how long will you sleep?

When will you wake up?

How foolish are you to sleep during your harvest.

A little extra sleep, alittle more slumber,

a little folding of the hands to rest,

the poverty will pounce on you like a bandit!

Arghhh . . . .

.

Ok at least I am done with my sermon of prosperity!

Yeah then I can go and meet Shino for the social party am attending ^^

....

Dont miss school again tomorrow!

Day 166

Day 166
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Out of your hands
into my heart
you gave it all for me
a love that is real
my emptiness filled
that is when I first believe
you put your songs in me
rivers will flow
healing me whole
that is when my soul will sing
My heart can never comprehend,
love crucified the man,
whose open hands were nailed for me.
And now,
I live my moment is serving only you.
Serving this greatest Lord who reigns.
words are not enough
I give my all to you
for me to say what you mean to me
I surrender to your love.
.
You know,
during my quiet time with Lord my father,
and as I sing for him,
praise and worship him,
the love of this amazing grace of Jesus never fails to fill my heart with so much of love,
I tears and I cannot comprehend why,
I tears but not a single bit of saddness or pain in my heart.
This heart is full of greatness and gratefulness I have with Jesus.
I never imagine loving Jesus can be so Happy.
You are just to grateful for the love father gave me through christ,
that is the reason I cry.
I finally understand what Genecia said.
When I saw how happy Genecia was when she tears smiling.
This is so true.
This God I love is really so amazing!
I never imagine God to be this way.
This God is not only peace,
he is love and God really do loves me!
First time I felt there is actually a higher being call my heavenly father who not only loves me so much,
he loves my family and love ones so much too.
Dear readers;
One day when this amazing God touches you,
you will experience what is call Agape love.
I experienced it just like what Genecia did,
you will experience it your way one day.

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Thank you Jesus!

As I commit the plans you gave me into your hands,

father I claim it,

and let your plan be done.

.

God, you know how much I love my church,

they are not just a church,

they are my family,

I would really like to say : Thank you with all my heart !

Day 165

Day 165

.

。

我的心，就像被你保护着的小孩。

谢谢你，

你找到了我。

。

I always hold critics against Sun.

But now my heavenly father opened my blind eyes.

I see what is beyond the cross.

My heart is so touched.

I am grateful to father who found me and he will use me in his kingdom of love and humanity!

.

I can never describe how this love came into my heart,

the amazing love which I will always weep like a baby when he touches me.

I always cried when I saw Jesus carrying his cross up calvary for me.

For God's love is everlasting,

he loves me more than I love myself,

he knows me and my character more than I know myself.

Grateful to you lord for letting me lead such an amazing and wonderful life.

.

Someone asked me to take a break of holiday abroad, dont stress myself too much.

He said I had been taking too many things at one time.

My career, my school, my life, my shop, my cafe, my family, mission trips and music teaching.

I told him from the bottom of my heart;

why do I need a holiday when I am not even stress in the first place?

.

I am going on the "warzone" for missions probably next week or so.

I am thankful to the whole church when they prayed for me when I stood up as one of the volunteers for mission field.

The grace from God is sufficient for me.

My business, my work and my everything!

Everything is on smooth run without worries, my capital came in for my cafe,

God is my provider in which I dont even need a bank loan for my cafe.

I asked God for SGD$200K for my cafe in Suntec and God answered my prayers.

.

This is life!

A life with a great purpose,

A LIFE WITH NO MORE CURSE or detour,

A blessed life Jesus redeemed for me!

.

A wonderful life which is shining from within and not just the appearance.

My beauty is from within, my gracefulness is from my heart, my joy is from God, my mind is only working with Faith,

That is why I am such a beautiful new creation from God!

.

My mind is renewed.

I was reminded of the hurting words my hubhub said to me;

God told me, all those hurting words my hubhub said to me, hurts my hubhub more than it hurts me.

Because he really loves me.

Father please continue to protect this man you gave to me.
Protect his heart;

You are the greatest blessings ever God gives to me !

This is the first time ever I am so proud of this man of my heart.

The smelly hubhub.

I am encouraging you right now,

Please believe in yourself like how I believe in you.

You are not weak, you are a brave man in my heart!

.

I end my entry with Hillsong UK ^^

.

Day 164

Day 164

.

.

When you come to know F.I.R personally,

you will realise who are they singing for !

Their heart, their testimony, their life, their songs . . .

We have a heart, a heart which sings in the same direction.

.

See you guys in Taiwan next month during my Birthday ^^

.

I love you father,

Thank you Jesus, Thank you Holy spirits.

Grateful to you for bringing life to my broken soul,

gave my broken heart a song to sing,

a dream a live,

a vision to walk,

a love sacrifies to continue giving.

God, because I know.

I am waiting on you lord.

I see what you promised me beyond the cross!

Your grace is sufficient for me.

.

.

The path is narrow and difficult,

but I will walk with all my might with you ;

For all brothers and sisters in Christ reading my blog,

the walk with lord is tough,

being a true christian is never easy,

but as you cling onto Christ,

you will rejoice.

For non-believers,

this sounds real absurd and crazy

but well,

you will understand why one day

^.^

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mmmm.... I received an email from David and he is coming to Singapore during my mission trip to Taiwan. I suppose, I have to cancel my Taiwan trip and head off to other mission trip this month instead. By the way, David is from UK London. David is amazing and how amazing God is using David! He is here for business and will be moving to Singapore from London. David David David, I am longing to learn more from you. Holly, you should meet David with me. He is the man I spoke to you about, The CEO of the Merger and Acquisition firm UK. Dont ask me how I met David who is at least 2 times older than me. I met him through the decreased Pastor Derek Prince. I was reading Pastor Prince book on foundation truth when David spoke to me. I just have this very strong feeling that David will turn into a strong pillar in God's Kingdom! I must introduce EngHan to him. Who is EngHan ? He is my wonderful leader and the guy who manages our Suntec building.

.

Day 163

Day 163

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What to preach ?

what to preach ?

what to preach ?

What to write ?

.

15 sermons to write

.

5 sermons to preach.

.

1. Faith

2. Prayer

3. Prosperity

4. Healing

5. Holy Spirit

.

The sermon that touches the heart of your audience.

How to make my listeners tears after my sermon ?

It must be my own experience,

my own faith,

my own prayer of revival,

my own healing,

My encounter with God.

.

My sermon is for the heart and not the ears.

.

.

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I had been staring blank for very long already, ., ./. ,./. ,/../.,.,/..,/.,/../

.

.

.

.

.

Oh by the way the flood,

and

hubhub was just talking about flooding in bukit timah.

lolx

^^

有你真好

.

please forgive me when I assume that you are pure selfish,

please forgive me that when I think bad about you at times in my heart,

please forgive me when I thought that you didnt love me.

^^

I know what to preach now for my public speech.

It is my Faith.

I am doing a public speech on my life as my sermon.

My Blog is my inspire

.

Faith in potential is my topic

What is faith?

Faith is something you cannot see but you know that it is in you.

You do not need faith if it is something in your hands.

Faith is something you cannot see right now,

but you claim that it is yours.

Visualising, God dont put visions into your mind to entertain you !

God wants you to have it.

How to recieve the blessing God plan for you ?

It is through Faith !

How to be the Giant of Faith ?

Then come and listen to my life experiencing encounter with father,

unleash the potential in you.

Hear my experiencing public speaking one day !

.

What is potential ?

1. All your money you have yet to earn

2. All your victories you have yet to win

No battle means no victory, you got to fight a battle in order to be victorious

3. All your friendship you have yet to cultivate

4. All the influence you have yet to gain.

What is the plan God has for you ?

How do you unleash all these blessing in God's word?

.

Taking all these out in public speaking,

I know my call in the ministry,

be a leader, be a public speaker in the marketplace.

.

I claim it in faith,

watch me fly in due time

.

My greatest challenge now,

prepare a speech that touch stranger's heart make them tears within 7 mins.

.

Ok I am so so so so soooooooo Happy today !

I see my visions in many many areas, thank you father !

I believe in the promises you gave.

.

God you read my blog

ha ha haaa

.

This is really interesting !

Can you imagine this is a church ?

John really looks like an undercover from God

.

My favourite preacher Steve munsey !

.

Learning to preach in the marketplace,

I am skinny but did you see the Giant in me ?

My capability and capacity

.

Hubhub remember what you told me ?

Nothing is Impossible and Impossible is nothing baby !

I am working this out with God.

Day 162

Day 162

Changed a new appearance ^^

I spent my afternoon with Eve,

our spirits connects,

and I totally understands what is she going through.

Jia You Eve !

You are my mega Mama Eve !

.

Do you know what is the tough part of SOT ?

Not the school assignments nor the tedious content of the course.

It is not the tedious public speaking test nor the 10 sermons you are going to preach !

It is how life is going this 7 months in SOT.

Genecia when through SOT last year,

I can fully understand how she feels now.

It is war of the old-self and the new-self.

How to be obedience and walk in light.

.

Being a obedient child of God require sacrifice too !

This sacrifice is worth the while in order to receive the great promise God puts in me.

.

I am so excited after meeting Summer this evening!

I want to go to Yoido Full Gospel Church and Prayers Mountain in Korea this October !

.

Good night and I cant deceive myself that I dont miss him.

Day 161

Day 161

.

.

1) Daddy Kong is back from Mount kongur Tibet !

I love to hear him out while he shares his life threatening experiences.

kong is always full of life changing and renewing stuffs.

As usual he almost died,

from Thailand that surfing dying experience,

from Maldives where he was surrounded by sharks,

and in Tibet while he almost got killed by the thin air and asthma attack.

.

Kong eventually got up to the 4500sq ft temple in Tibet
The funny thing,
throughout the whole temple,
there is only 1 monk.
This let me recall about the movie 2012
This Daddy Kong of mine,
lolx.
He asked the monk 3 questions:
Kong: How old are you?
Monk: 30 years old
Kong: How long have you been in this mountain?
Monk: 5 months
Kong: You want to listen to my I-pod?
He plucks the I-pod into the ears of the monk.
Whahahaaaa . . . I can imagine that picture.
and
Let the monk play his I-phone.
Hilarious
.
He is my mentor,
my Daddy Kong,
my motivator !
.

He told me : life seems so insignificant when he is high up in the mountain. The mountain will not care who you are, what you do. When he expedite up the mountain while it snows, he sees alot of stones and rocks which are tombs of many mountain climbers.

.

I relate this back to the world. The world will devour you like what the mountain did if you are weak or when you stop moving, you will eventually die off and be devour by the world. My hubhub don't know how to move in the past, but I am really grateful that he is on his move now. One day he will find his boldness and he will conquer his fear and uncertainty in many many areas because I believe in him.

.

The day when " More than Words " is out, I just hope that my name will be in his Gala Premiere list.

Day 160

Day 160
.
Learned this today :
.

God is not raising up a generation of softies. He is raising up an army that can endure hardship for him! God allows us to go through tough times beacuse He our father who plans ahead of us knows, trials and tribulation produce perseverance and character.

.

Pastor Bob talked about Obedience in God today. He said obedience in God can only be learned through sufferings. I obeyed my father even it is really painful. Be an overcomer, I will walk through this !

.

Thank you father, I didn't do things my way but your way. Thank you father, I made a right choice to be the peacemaker for my hubhub. Peace was paid for a price. Hubhub and I paid a heavy price for peace. For the painful scarifies we gave, father please look after our path even as it seperated and bless us.

Day 159

Day 159
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There is nothing I can do except to provide words of encouragement and the spirit of strength to move on. Love really requires scarifies. I want to make it a point that whenever he turns into my blog for a refuge, that will only be spirits of joy, encouragement and love I left for him. I will always stay in his heart forever. I will always provide a shelter and not trouble or worries anymore in his heart.

.

Let me be your salt

The salt that preserves your heart

be the salt that purifies and clean

be the salt that heals your wound

be the salt that add flavours to your life

be the salt that melts away the ice of your heart

be the salt that provide energy

.

Let it be peace and love whenever you think of me :-)

.

.

Let both of us be over comers and victor in our walk of life.

.

We will always live in each others heart even when time prevails.

Home

.

God! I know you will send him back home one day.

To the home that belongs to the heart of us.

Because love is given by God.

and Father you will guard our heart.

.

Day 158

Day 158

.

I am still crying,

I do not know what can I do to stop crying.

I am so painful,

my heart keeps on contracting,

I cannot drink and I am afraid to eat.

I practically puke everything out.

I hate myself for being so weak.

I do not want to fall back to what happened last year.

I dont want to be on drip with tube in my wrist anymore.

I am not sad, I am grieved.

Why I cannot make my love happy.

He is sad and he is in agony

He grieved me more because he is sad.

We really love each other very much.

The most stabbing part is we love each other very much.

His heart belongs to me and mine to him,

that is the reason why both of us is so painful,

so sad,

so painful,

so so painful.

Father Abba lord;

you told me that you are going to cut me,

cut him,

cut away our heart,

and that requires scarifies.

Scarifies that are painful and tears filled are the utmost scarifies bao bao and I can make.

I hear my baobao's heart crying, crying so badly.

That makes me cry to you lord even louder.

The spirit of bao bao and me connects through you father.

Because that is love and

love requires scarifies.

Abba lord you told me; you've have put love into us,

that love is from you God,

you didnt let this love leave our heart.

This love requires our scarifies.

But Abba, I dont have to strength to move away from this pain.

Father let me find strength in you and walk with me.

Lord I am part of your plan,

my hubhub is part of your plan,

you made us realise how much we love each other.

If not for last night,

he wouldnt have realise how much I really mean to him.

You let my hubhub face his own heart,

listen to his own voice.

But father, my hubhub can deceive everyone but not himself.

Because father, you put his love of me straight down in his heart.

It is rooted so deepy for the both of us.

Lord you fulfil your promise to me that you will send someone to guide my hubhub,

you did.

But to guide hubhub into a man you want to shape requires my great scarify.

I want to walk in faith and to believe father that you promised this to me.

.

God you have sent an angel down to guide my hubhub,

Xiao Yan is that angel,

I have to trust in the people you send,

Father protect her as she will guide my hubhub.

.

God: you never forget your promise.

You told me I will get married to the man you put in my heart.

You get strangers to confirm that what you said to me is true.

You speak to their heart and they told me, I will be fruitful with hubhub,

we will be happy and blessed from the love of yours father.

God you told me I have to leave,

I did what you told me to do,

but

this is really so painful, so painful father.

Lord you said; he has to leave me, but when Abba you give him back into my hands,

we will be forever.

Father let me trust ; put my life totally in your hands,

you are giving me the best,

I have to trust in you father that you will make hubhub at his best.

You promise that you will not take his love for me off his heart,

and you will stir it up when the time is right.

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I was reading my bible while I cry,

Father your words come out to me as living words;

You said ; to be in christ, I have to go through long-suffering which is paitience,

trust myr worries in the great hands of yours,

for the father loves me and he is preparing the best for me.

Expect what your father Lord is going to give you.

Even if it is a tiny promise he gave you, he never forget.

Not to talk about the man he is giving it to you.

I have to cut this man,

operate on him,

when he is perfect,

he will find you through me the father who loves you so much.

My God my lord ; you are real, you spoke to me and ask me trust in you.

You spoke directly to my agony and told me to trust in you father.

Thank you father,

I claim this,

I recieved.

This is what hubhub wrote : ๑۩۞۩๑♠♣♥ ∆Never take someone for granted. Hold every person close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones♠♣♥

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Father you will let him find me,

because I am always this precious diamond in his heart,

yesterday, today and forever.

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Father please dont forget hubhub,

dont forget me.

Dont forget this unworthy sinner you speak to through christ.

I want to trust in you,

leave my hubhub with you.

I cannot see him anymore.

I will wait for your instructions father.

Father I leave my beloved Isaac my scarifies in your hands.

Father Abraham has to leave his son Isaac in the scarifies alter to kill him.

God you send angels to stop Father Abraham; you see the faith of the Father of nation Abraham.

Father let me have the faith of Father Abraham,

I leave my hubhub Luoyi with you.

I commit Luoyi totally into your hands.

Luoyi is my Isaac !

Although it is really so painful,

but

Father you way is always higher than mine.

Luoyi is part of your plan.

Father thank you for opening his heart and putting me in it.

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Father please protect my hubhub, protect him, please protect him!

Please father, I know even when I leave, you guard him and put me always so close to him,

you make me to be closer than the air he breathes

that one day, through you Lord, we will reunite,

because we are both good child of you father and you will bless us with blissfulness,

I believe father, even time may pass, but our love for each other will stay strong.

No one is able to take that love away except you lord.

Lord because you put so much love into our heart, you wont allow anyone to take it away form us.

When the time is ripe, father you will make 2 loving hearts connect,

2 hearts to become 1 heart.

I know I will be able to hold his hands tight through you God !

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God you keep injecting this vision into me,

standing at the pulpit,

sharing my words and testimony with my husband;

you make me see hubhub standing next to me, holding my hand.

I trust and I believe.

It is through Iove I left my bao bao, It will be through love he find me again.

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I just cant believe it I have been crying for the past 10 hours.

Day 157

Day 157

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Cried my whole heart out.

It is really painful,

but I have to do it.

I have to do that, though it is going to cost me heavily,

I have to do that.

For I love him too much,

I cannot help,

I have to think of the best for him.

I really cant help him.

The only way to help is to let him go.

That means I can not see him anymore,

no more news of him,

no more hugs,

no more cuddles,

for I love him so much,

love is about scarifies.

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I have to say

my hubhub is the key,

I have to break myself for him to move.

I love him.

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God ! Have you hear my cry?

I've cried with all my heart and soul !

Please protect my hubhub,

guard his heart,

all I pray for is his fruitfulness in his career.

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Father !

when he misses me,

give him a good dream,

when he feels like hugging me,

give him a dream of love from me.

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Lord Jehovah bring all my love to him in your ways.

He has to be happy, I really can't bear to see him sad.

I cried not because he hurts me,

I cried because he loves me so do I

but

It hurts a million times more when I know I can never see him or hear from him again.

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Just let me be,

cry my heart out.

It didnt know this can be so difficult !

So difficult to make such decisions.

For him to be good,

I cannot turn back, even thou how much it hurts.

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It is too painful to handle.

Day 156

Day 156

Dont press the self destruction button !

Please do not press the self destruction button. Alcoholism is part of the self destruction button. The inbound self is deluding, the root of the problem of the affair of self. Where is yourself ? Why are you demeaning yourself ? Have you realise that you are the greatest ? Where is your peace ? How can your problems be solve ? Why are you creating more problems for yourself ? I want you to be happy. You are the greatest friend of mine, and I had been constantly keeping you in prayers. You are there for me when I break, there for me when I crashed. I want to encourage you to find your true self. Stop the self destruction, it is not worth the while. I walked that dark path through, I understand and I know. It is really dark and full of tears. You need to find the path of light, the light you will open your eyes and refresh your mind. The light that will let you love who you are. You are my best friend.

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It is a cool and rainy day. I skipped school again today, I have difficulties in breathing. I do not know what happened. Anyway I am fine and good now. Did my work and print-outs for my evening appointment with my client and his wife. I've decided to stay home today after mailing out the little furnitures for hubhub. I've got something new for the smelly hubhub of mine. ^^ hope he likes it. Something he needs it. Whooooo . . . .

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School exams tomorrow, study study ! I have 5 books to go through, although I have not read through it, I am confident ^^

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Baby, have you pass you M9 exams? ^^ I love you love you love you baobei !!!!!! ^^ Muacks. . I hug hug u ! Imaginary-ly. How can I ever leave you ? =) How to not think of you a single day ? Hur hur hur, you are so intruding . . . eeeekkkkkk I poke you ah !!!!

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Go study already =) Boo..oooo *chuckles* Love love.

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I have this weird and uneasy feeling, mmm..... I do not know what is that. Pray in the spirits and let the holy spirits help. I just cant find peace in my heart, it is just uneasy. Probably something happened? I do not know. I remembered 2 days ago,I just started praying in spirits non stop until peace filled my heart. And eventually I received a sms that a friend's baby is in ICU and wants me to pray for the baby.

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Prayers: Father as I pray in the spirits, please help my hubhubie if he is facing difficult problems or situations currently. I do not know what is it, but holy spirits, my greatest helper you know. Help my hubhub, please help and protect him from distrubance issues that arise and give him peace in heart. Lord I love him, give him strength to overcome, give him wisdom to reverse the weapons that is against him. Let me pray for my bao bao. Father let my smelly know, I will never abandon him. I will always be there for him.

Days 153 - 155

Day 153
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It was 10pm when I reached Depasar Bali. I meet up with Pak Tonny my uncle in Bali at the Airport. It was Xiao Fang, my auntie who informed Uncle Pak Tonny of our arrival. Uncle Pak Tonny's hotel villa is too far away from Poppies lane therefore we didnt stay in our family hotel but instead stayed in this super budget inn. No AIrcon de lor! That is my sister, she always insisted on Budget!.! This is the Poppies lane where all the happening discos are, and the most rowdily place in Bali. Thats where all the bombing takes place too! Anyway the budget inn sux, I fell asleep everynight because I am really freaking tired.

Poppies lane at night

The Gora Beach Inn is where I stay.

Erm, worst than the motel hubhub and I stayed in Vietnam.

Day 154

The small alley area,

and it is really scary when you see all the people playing with Taser gun,

It is not funny to be Tased.

Sharks, I have to run across them every night I walk pass.

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It is really tired travelling all day, meeting manufacturers, suppliers, take barang,

thank God, Uncle Pak Tonny has a driver for us to drive us around,

it not I will die !

But after all ,

the beach area is pretty cool with all the surfers !

and an ice cold beerAfter such a tiring day, my sister still can go party!

I am dead beat, but still accompany her to the club.

Still can take Mushroom,

get high,

I am seriously not interested in smoking Marijuana nor the magic mushroom.

I know that will cause you to fantasize,

I think I will see Jesus or maybe hubhub ?

Anyway, these are the 2 men that occupied me whole of the trip.

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Well there are more Aussies than locals, many of them are pretty good looking.

I am too tired even to move an inch.

* I remembered 2 years ago, hubhub was in Bali with his God-ma for his birthday,

told me the people there are fugly,

well thats nonsense! Tell me they looked like maid,

but there are really good-looking babes too *

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Day 155

.

Still the same as day 154, travelling whole day, take stocks,

mail stocks,

everyday, we are running everywhere for our stocks.

This is a work trip.

.

Evening was great,

Uncle Pak Tonny brought us to this place for seafood,

with his wife and son Alvin.

They have fireworks and laser something something.

But I still prefer the Lighthouse hubhub and I went when we're in Vietnam.

My sister asked me,

if someone proposed to you with 30 mins showers of fireworks,

will you marry him?

I instantly replied No.

If I dont love the person, 24hours of fireworks also can't touch my heart.

And sister asked again

what if the person is Luoyi?

I replied;

He ah, no need fire works I also marry him.

She laughed and laughed . . . .

.

She asked me again ; Do you want to marry him if he asked you ?

I replied: He wont ask me that de lar, we are not even together in the first place.

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Thats it

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Prayers: I prayed every night and spoke to father. I prayed for hubhub, and I told God, father let my hubhub be happy, I am using all my love for him to ask for the happiness in the heart of this man. He is just so deeply rooted there. Lord bless my love smelly. Whenever I miss hubhub I will pray to God and ask god to take this love and change it into happiness to paint on the life of hubhub. He do not need to be by my side, he is as close as the air that I breathe. Father, please give him a mind to discern and a heart to feel for I love him so much.

Day 146 - 152

Day 146
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Its totally crazy. Summarising up the whole picture. It is Monday, I had an off day from School. I have to rush to do up my expired passport before I head down to Denpasar Bali to buy stocks for the shop. The lady said I have to get to the Indonesian Embassy to get my extension pass in order to fly off by this week. I spent my day at the immigration and finally meet up with Holly. Received a call from my hubhub ^^ ok. Thats it.

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Prayers: Father lord, please shape the heart of my hubhub, make the wall of his heart thin and be sensitive to your knocking. I love this man, please please please guard him.

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Day 147

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It is Tuesday, early morning school before I headed down to the Indonesian Embassy. Anyway the Indonesian Embassy is crap, I can only get my extension pass next week. I told them to forget about it. I prayed to God and asked him how. Well, I don't know how but I have faith that father will guide me. I have to go to Bali on Sunday afternoon.

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Prayers: Father please open the eyes of my hubhub, he had been blind for long. Let him see what you want him to see, and experience the blessings of yours! I love him father, please be there for him and guide him along.

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Day 148

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School as usual, I had been missing alot in school, the whole section on Sermon Preaching was blanked. I am dead man! I pray for wisdom to decipher knowledge. My whole set of assignments. I am only done with 2 books, did 1 book review on Faith, read Living in the 4th Dimension realm. I am dead, I am staying home today to do my assignments and bible reading. Shoooo.......

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Prayers: Father teach my hubhub in your ways, let him listen and discern. Learn and experience. Open up his mind, break him if you need to, I will help him through you father. For I love hubhub, God, you love him too!

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Day 149

.

Today is Thursday, I am sick, and I didn't go to school, terribly ill. I went to see Doctor Janet, she went, Hello . . . can you please rest and not run around? Do I have to see you every month? Give you 2 days MC please dont run around.

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The Church

News regarding the church had been much of a stir up recently. I had been praying for all members of the church since monday after the news broke out. I am not worried about the leaders in the church in fact, I am more worried about the faith of the members. They will feel sad and disappointed if some misuse of fund really takes place. Well, in the eyes of the law, wrong-doers ought to be punish, the righteous will alway stay on the righteous path of light. There is nothing to be worry about for the 17 leaders and Pastor Kong. In God's house, and we are all body of Christ, it is a church with Christ Jesus as our head. Even when some limbs or whatever part of the body mulfunction, Christ is in charge. The church still functions, the church is my home! A home of peace, nothing is going to bring me away from home. ^^ I love my church. in fact there is nothing to debate about.

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Immigration

I was told to call the immgration, so I did. I asked them if I can request urgently to collect my newly made Passport on Friday. Somebody on the other end of the line said yes. So I have to head down tomorrow even I am desprately ill.

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Prayers: Father protect the health of my hubhub, dont let him fall sick, let my love be all the blesses to his life. I pray for him everynight without fail, God please protect him. I love you baobei ^^

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Day 150

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I totally have no time to post out the little furnitures I had for hubhub. this week is just too crazy. I headed down to the immgration office with the direction to collect my passport. Went down there at 2pm and the authority needs the extension letter from the Embassy. Or I have to come in on Saturday morning at 8am. I chop chop rushed back home pick it up and rushed back to the ICA building. It is 4.45pm. the registrations queue ticketing is off. Thinking to head back home and come back the next morning. The holy spirits spoke gently. Dont go, go to level 3. I listened to the holy spirits and went to level 3. The counter said closed. But holy spirits said; go and ask the lady, I will help you. I went ahead and asked the lady politely to check my passport collection, but she told me my passport can only be collected on MONDAY. Deep down, oh shit ! But I went on, and told her I need to urgently get out of Singapore on Sunday, I called in yesterday, someone did tell me I can collect my passport today. Holy spirits move, she gave me a queue number at 5pm and ask me to proceed to counter 23 and see if the authority could help. I took the number and went to wait for my turn. The office closes at 5pm by the way. Since holy spirit told me to wait, I wait lor. I was waiting, while one lady approaches me. I told her my situation very politely and patiently. She asked me: Can you wait for 30 mintues? I will get your passport out. I was thanking Holy spirit in my heart. Thank you father, thank you my helper holy spirit ! In the end I left ICA at 7pm with my new PASSPORT! Yeah! if not I really dont know how to go Bali on Sunday.

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Prayers: Father, hubhub dont have the holy spirits to teach and guide him what to do during difficult times, that is why he always bump wall, when he is painful, my heartaches too. Lord please speak to him through his heart and walk with him. I love him father, and I know true 2 sided love is from you father. You always keep hubhub and my heart together.

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Day 151 Saturday

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Seriously ill. Fever and flu. Even though, I have to work, teach music. I am teaching at 9am today. Hubhub called ^^ hur hur.. . . . I silly silly messaged him something funny last night when I was high on drugs and injections. ( prescripted drugs of course ) ^^ Miss you hubhub!

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Church

Headed down to church after work. Camera crew CNA all there. Well as greeters and PR frontline. I welcomed them. Keeping the spirits of all members high. As I said Church is my home of peace and a place for me to recharge. I met Chino, a new brother in christ. I really have to compliement. Sharkssss... I will take a picture with him coming Saturday. I tell you, he is really split image of Wilber Pan wei bo, BUT the handsomer version. I was really busy in service didnt really talk much to him till dinner time and fellowship. Shino is really cool lar, I like him and I like his Girlfriend Sharon too! They are from the SIA Aircrew fellowship. So happy to see Shirley on Saturday service, she is so so so much happier! I hugged her the moment I saw her, " God loves you and I love you too ! "

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He looks like Pan wei bo lar . .

a taller version.

lolx.

oh by the way . . . the Orchestra photos are published. hahaaaa. . . . I was playing my violin with my eyes closed, not trying to act artistic, but I am sleepy! lolx I didnt get any sleep before performance, I am pretty impress thou with such sleepy mind but an excellent performances.

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Lazy to post it up. Go look at this link http://www.asiaconference.org.sg/2010/media_gallery.php

.It is just somewhere there, day 5 #1 ^^

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Prayers: Father father, I want hubhub to be happy, blissful, I dont need alot of things in life, father you have already given me. Father, I pray for joy, I want my hubhub to be truly happy. I want the man I love to be happy!

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Day 152

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Nothing much to write about today, I flew to Bali straight after I finish teaching with flu. . . .

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Prayers: Let me pray for my bao bao. I pray that my baobao will be happier and more "xin fu" than me. Love him every everyday ^^

Day 145

Day 145 Sunday
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It is 5.30am when I reached brother Stanley's place. Brother Stanley opened the door and exclaimed, where do you go sister seven, have you gone to the wilderness to pray? I replied smiling ^^ dont worry brother I am fine ^^ I went to look for Luoyi :)

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Brother stanley is a long time friend of Parry/ Sherry and Eric moo. He is of the same age of my dad. He is a wonderful friend and often encourages me. I am really blessed to know Brother stanley. I remembered when Ashly's dad passed away brother stanley help Ashly daily with the funeral with Pierre and Andrea. They are friends for a long time. Brother Stanley is a kind and well person, God please protect this brother ^^.

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I am indeed tired, I rushed to Expo hall 8 for my violin performance, rushed to the make-up artiste room. Everything was on time. I am extremely tired. I was dazing. lolx. The performance when on well, although I am dazing away, I wasn't too bad after all. I was being zoomed onto the big screen. No mistakes. ^^

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Straight away after my violin performance, I sat in and listen to Dr Cho's sermon of the 4 items in the 4th dimension. 1) Thinking 2) Faith 3) Prayers 4) Word. If you are interested in this topic go and purchase Dr Cho's book named : 4th Dimension in the 3rd Dimensional world. I cab back to Brother Stanley's home, I cant stand the Fatigue anymore. I need to sleep !

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AR Bernard in the evening ! I have to get my energy back for Dr AR Bernard !

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Prayers: Father please protect the heart of my hubhub, Dont let the spirit of fear come near to my hubhub, spirit of encouragement to be with hubhub. Let my love be blessing of he's. Because God you know that I love him.