Dumb Ass

I labeled myself as a dumb ass when I scrolled through the past entries I had.

I find myself real pathetic and I cant help but to grin a sarcastic smile at myself.

A part of me despise myself for being such a dumb ass.

I looked through the posts i pen when he was away,

it all crashes and stung right in like acid as it corrodes away the loving and caring self of me.

I remembered posting the entry after a wonderful movie weekend with him,

to reconcile how I love him more each day.

How Socratic irony.

He had depleted and fail me.

I've emptied my love bucket to build it on for the final struggle I am going to kick on.

Whatever the outcome will turn out to be,

at least there is no room for regret as long as what myself is concern.

I've give what I can to protect and grow what we've built so far.

The choice is up to him whether if he chooses to built it on with me or to eliminate it.