? ? ? ? ?

In general,

we often conclude and dictate the men we met,

we are the ones who gave choices and open options to the others.

I am really puzzled with things happening around me,

there is absolutely no intention of being paranoid or whatsoever.

Things just happen in a way not intended to be known but somehow they are discovered unintentionally.

Its the matter of fact that I am doing whatever I can to make things work,

and I get really puzzled with tons of question marks.

I just do not know how to describe the kind of feeling I am having now.

Everything is falling into a spiral no matter how hard I've tried.

I really tried very hard and I really did.

It is just comprehensive feelings of asking myself, am I not doing enough which result in disappointment over and over again.

I do little things for him,

probably in his eyes,

they are just the slightest of actions.

They might be minor actions example, doing whatever which is to my best ability just to help.

Preparing milk shakes, spending few minutes of each meeting with nice back rubs, blah blah . . .

at least.

those are little gestures which I am confident that I will be able to do it for the one and only him, not just for now, or

for a spur of the moment,

but a slient promise of lifetime commitment if he allows that to happen.

-

Feels so bad for the mistake I made this afternoon, Arghh... How can I allow such mistakes. ARgHH. I am sorry for the trouble made.