Day 229

Day 229

Letter to my heavenly father:

Father in heaven, Hallow be your name, a beloved child of yours here is crying out to you, I have been praying and singing sorrows to you. I am weak, I am a broken human. I am a wretch, but father you told me that when I sow in tears, you promised that I will reap in joy. But challenges ahead are really huge, can I find my protection under your wings, my place of refuge with you under your convenent. Father Abba, will you send your angels down to help me and put me away from my enemies that cause to tear me up like pieces of broken rags. God you are real, you told me before that difficulties will come and storms will come, please let me hold on to your mighty hands so I can be safe with you after the storm. You even send a stranger on the bus to tell me that " The father had promised you " Forgive me for the lack of faith during this time of trial. Lord you've send me out to heal people, nurse their broken heart and walk their trials with them, motivate and encourage. I am now having my difficult time, please dont leave me father for you are the one who strengthens me. Give me the courage that I will not escape but to face what you've put in front of me to conqour. You told me that struggles are normal, but during this time of trial I am struggling really hard.

Father, I miss him very much, each time I miss and prayed for his well-being lord you say you will guide him along his best pathway in life. How comforting if I can whine and rest in his arms again. Father, why do you make me miss him during this difficult time I am going through? Father why do I have to love him? Holy spirits can you please show me the way like how you did it the last time round? Guide me to do the best in the situation, teach me what to do and show me the way for you always walk ahead of me. Put peace and joy in my heart so I can sing and rejoice even during times I am suffering.

I am feeling really foul, and school is finishing in less than 2 weeks time. I finally understand why Pastor said that the last 2 weeks is the most intensive. Going through brokenness again. God will break you to make you again. True enough I am going through this. Everytime during such breaking, and to stay obedience to God is really painful. Jesus said: to be his disciple, you have to carry the cross of burden and follow him. Lord Jesus my redeemer, teach me how to love like you have love me, break my heart like what breaks yours. My life belongs to you, please be my hands and be my feet. Lift me up this burden as I prayed and confess lord you are my God.

Father please guide my sister and protect her. The most hurting words comes from people you loved. Father be there for her during my inequity, I am not a superwoman, I am just a human. Father please bless my loving sister greatly, though it hurts me badly of the things she said and viewed on me, teach her and guide her in your ways. I've really did all I can to care for her, and to think on her behalf, but why dont she understand that I dote her more than anything else.

Lord my savior, I am sad, dejected and painful but I trust in you. I commit my whole situation into your mighty hands, my career, my business, my intensive teaching schedule, my ministry, my family and my beloved hubhub. Let your will be done and make me a faithful steward to stay in obedience, to obey even it is going to be painful. I love you Jehovah Jirah my provider, Jehovah Raphl my healer, in your hands I commit, for your ways are higher than mine, you are always preparing the best for me. You know what is the best for me. You will never prepare things to fail me, because you said all good outcome of blessings of those to love you God in book of luke.

I pray in the faithful mighty name of the lamb of God Jesus Christ

Amen