Day 347

Day 347

Spiritual dryness

Do you remember the blog post when I talk about the 4 seasons in our lives? Spring, summer, autumn and winter.

Spring is over and I am on my way toward this hot and intensive summer. Encountering my spiritual dryness right now. It has been 2 days since I last hear God speaks to me. It is so dry now and I am craving for my spiritual food. I went for Business Breakthrough yesterday and I can't seems to receive.

I am so harden up I do not know why. I don't seems to feel and I can't hear His voice calling. I feel myself falling into a spiral and I do not want this to happen. I started praying about it, and had been chewing on this verse.

Act 3:6 : Gold and sliver I do not have but what I can give you is the name of Jesus, Said Peter. Stand up and walk in the name of Jesus, Peter said to a lame man.

I do not know what does it means? I ask God, who are you referring to? Who is Peter in my life? Who is the lame man? Am I the lame man who have not been relying enough onto you by faith? Or what? Or am I Peter who should command in faith in the name of Jesus of Nazareth?

What can I do? What should I do? It my soul is burdened. I cannot perform in work. I cannot perform in ministry. I cannot teach. I cannot encourage others and I cannot counsel. What is that thing I have to know. What is that burden in me? Why are you not explaining it to me? Where have you been Holy Spirit? I can't hear you! I can't hear your instructions!

I started thinking about bills, debts and my shop. Everything seems to be stagnant all of a sudden! I don't feel like doing anything!

God I just encountered your faithfulness just last Saturday, and I stuck in awe of your greatness of what you have performed for me.

But now, what is wrong with me? What is this ACT3:6 gotta do with my life?  You showed me the verse and you are not explaining it to me?

I was talking to LK, and he told me something. I realised this thing about discipleship had been burdening in my heart for quite awhile. I should talk to EH about it next week when I get to his house. The last thing I will want to do is to fall back to the old Seven.

Back to what happened today.

Why do guys on date always like to go for movies? Can someone tell me why? You know that I do not watch movies with men, other than those 2 buddies zhong and av. Or other than my boyfriend which I do not have any now. Don't talk to me about movies now. I don't have any mood for that. Guys don't try to date me now, you think I care? Frankly speaking the answer is No.

I just told mom yesterday; if you are thinking of me getting married or falling into a relationship, it is going to be a really long haul wait. In my plan, dating is not a priority at all. And getting married might not even happen to me. Have some preparations, so don't pin your hope on me, shift it onto my sister. She is dating a wonderful guy my whole family loves.

I am going to stop here before this angry spirit gets so hotheaded. I am very angry but I do not know what I am angry with. I think I am angry with myself for being incompetent these 2 days. Give me a breakthrough man!