The end of the week

Had a splendid weekend with my Hubhubie. It may seem to be an ordinary weekend in the eyes of many others. But for me, its the company of "us". I am kind of different when I am alone with my hubhubie. I tend to whine alot in his arms. This action of whining is something which is not within my control, perhaps you will only do that when you are with the ONE you feel most comfortable with where there is nothing else to hide. I am emotionally naked when we spend private time together, I'll say silly things, do silly stuffs and have the most spontaneous little actions which he will always notice. More than often I will naturally give off an innocent look with big round rolling eyes accompanied by the biting of lower lips which says " Opps " ~~ ! Sometimes I will roll on his bed, cuddle in "my pillow" and do silly actions which I dont even comprehend why am I even doing that. Its the same at home when I am alone, sometimes punch my dumb dumb looking green turtle or toss it in the air. Well, there is a kid in everyone no matter how old you are right.

.

For a fact, the amount of enjoyment and love I have cuddling in the arms of my hubhubie is beyond what words can describe. It is just a kind of blissful feeling I will always look forward to in seeing him each time. I love the hug hug penguin walk on his feet and I enjoy massaging my " Fit fit Zai " hubhubie. Ps : Sorry that I didn't massage massage your hand last night before bed as I was too much in LalaLand. All I wanted to say, love you for not only dinner Crab feast on Saturday night, Fresh Live prawn self whipped dinner just now, Love you for the time spend together with me over the weekends. Silly silly will put on her best to gain more Kgs, in case I "evaporate" or in case I get dump by my hubhubie because I am too skinny :x

The message

For whatever that happened,

whatever it is,

you just have to remember,

I am always here.

With the love and grace I can give.

Never to leave you alone,

I may not be by your side always,

but you just have to remember,

I am the one who will always

care and love.

I want to be by your side when you are restless and tired

by your side when you are unhappy

hopefully to be by your side to share the joy.

Because you are one I care and love without reserve.

Although I wouldn't know what will I sow at the end of the day,

I just know that I love you.

A plug

Someone told me, its time to get a new " plug ", just give the translation in Hokkien and have a good laugh at it. I was laughing madly when I heard that and gave several slaps on his back. This is not the first time I've gotta comments like this. But this is indeed a creative one. I've hear comments like I am too accommodating to my hubhubie, comments like I am like a "maid" to him ; well . . . on 2 burning ends of a candle, I am slightly better and slightly worst off than one.

.

On the slightly better ends, he has to coax and pacify me when I am pissed off at times, he has to adore me a little more sometimes when I am pissed off with his actions or words said.

.

On the slightly worst off ends, a maid gets paid and I don't.

.

Maybe, in the eyes many others, he doesn't seems like a nice caring boyfriend towards me, he gives the feel of he is taking me for granted in all ways. Its true that many of his friends did comment about this. Well, probably its just the one sided view they've seen. Indeed, to love him, I have to accept not only the good, I have to love his flaws as much at the same time. We cannot rely on just Love itself to survive a relationship. We need the wisdom to care and to understand. He is not perfect neither am I, but when I love him enough, he is the perfect one in my eyes.

.

Cass

.

Cass is the adorable one. I never stop laughing. She is just so freaking cute. She don't understand Hokkien therefore her spontaneous reactions were so funny accompanied by her blur blur look. I like the one about the ET figure she imaged as we talked about women. The long fingers and toes theory.

Thats Cass :)

.And btw its time to change a new phone. My Erisson is giving me crap. Its time to change a service provider, the current one just SUX. Time to get an IPHONE 3G. I saw what Kelvin did on the IPHONE and its AMAZING ! ! ! Especially on the video editing part I just realised how can a phone be so brilliantly perfect.

The big boy

I miss my " Ah beng " Hubhub This was taken last Saturday during our steamboat dinner/supper.

We parted after that night, driving home separately.

And I miss him so badly.

I miss this naughty hubhubie, I missed my chance of seeing him last night, I was out to secure an appointment. I miss him so much, and I know he misses me as much too.

(@_@)

. . . . . Massage massage de lah . . . . .

The escapees

I've noticed a cycle of pattern in him whenever he is swarmed up by pressures given. He will turn-on his escapees' mode. He will escape and runaway from it. I rally that he would choose to enjoy the fruit of love in receiving and chooses to walk-away when problem arise. He is great in short-term relationships but being in a long term relationship turns him gaga. Simply, he do not know how to manage it. His self-mode will goes on, in every moment he chooses to meet me up, seeing me means pressure. That is the reason why he started swaying away from me. He is afraid to hurt me. Therefore I believe that is the reason why he say this to me when I parted last night " Yeah, I won't be seeing my wifey any sooner." I never mean to exert pressures on him at all. The day I've decided to have this only man for my lifetime. I know I am all up to withstand these. There is nothing wrong to stand true and faithful for the man I wanted, to be understanding and hold strong faith to cross out his doubts. More than often he will land himself in a labyrinth of self conviction in our relationship. He has doubt in himself whenever he is ready to give and to commit. He has a constant fear of letting me down. He is easily bored out. Deep down I know he is afraid, afraid to face the uncertainty, the uncertainty to provide for a family. I know he long for one in his heart, to share a different kind of joy of a father, to have a kid of his own and be one great father. Its alright to be afraid because the responsibility is too hefty to shoulder. The pressure is too burdening at this point of time. He will search for alternative route to escape, party to make a pause in reality, booze enough to stop thinking about it for the time being. Back to reality, time is tickling away. What will be will be, I shall not probe any further. I will not dwell onto it anymore, when my time is up, I know I've did what I can with my best of ability. I can make answer to my life that I have not regretted.

.

I just know somehow it seems like I was made to love him,

it seems like, I am part of him

and I belongs to him.

I don't know why, I just love him.

I don't know why, I can't bear to leave him.

and I don't know why, I just want to stay by his side.

Am I cursed or am I not?

I just want to love him.

Maybe I can only share the woes but not the joy with this man.

.

There are different WANTS we desire in life. A family of my own which I long for. But time is not ripe. Someone decipher that my best timing of marriage is at the age of 28 just after my birthday. Having a family at age 28 will enhance and peak my financial wealth status, life will run smooth, help of * Gui Ren * will given and any point of downturns. This contribute my highest point in career at age 35 being a successful career woman with a blissful family where fortune is of abundance. He told me there is a man I met in my life who will groom me, nurture me and make me a maximise woman. He will make me grow mentally, more independently mainly because, he is the one who causes the bottomless valley in my life and he will be the one who peak my life as well. I come to realise that to climb up from a pitfall needs ample of courage. I do not know if he is the one, but I know he is the man who forces me to stand up by myself. The master told me for every turbulance I have to walk through myself which is so true, eventually peace will come and this man will be the one I will spend my life with and tie my knot at age 28. I missed the boat in year 2005, a man who can take care of me and be a darling to everybody. I am not going to miss my next boat 3 years down the road. In career wise, I am in the character of a human business, Master told me; I am lacking of metal in the 5 elements. To choose to work in a metal industry, financial sector or jewel/watches industry will bring me good. Thinking back, I did quite well back in Gliderol Door(s) an industry for metal doors fabrications. Oh ya, he told me that in future when I get married, the other half will be a great help as in partner of mine in business. Well I do not know how true, I wouldn't even know if ly will make the man? Just let the future tell.

.

Just hope that turbulances will make us stronger in faith and love each other even more. We've been through enough and I hope that we will have smooth sailing in time to come.

-

These are all for references. In another hand, I'll still leave my life in the hands of god. I know that he is great and has a great path for me to walk through. He hears my sincere prayers and I know he will definitely have the right man in mind for me. Lets leave everything to god.

.

My prayers : For the past 15 months, I am drained up many times by the man I love with all I can. Even thou....I still want him to be happy, to vision his directions and to care for those who sincerely love him. It may not be me. But forget it, its ok lar.

Thank you

Just a simple Thank you,

from the deepest of my heart,

for the effort you've made,

for the time you're willing to spend,

for the dishes you've whipped,

for the sweat you've shed,

for the petrol you've travelled,

for the love you're willing to give,

and

for the hug and kiss you gave.

Thank you

Thursday the lousy

I miss the self I used to be, the Seven with drive, passion, love, ideas and determination. The days when I was school, teach violin and was heavily involved with pride in financial planning. My life was filled with ample of joy and fulfillment. Those were the days when I am filled with confidence till the brim where nothing is impossible. Those were the days I outshine and create intimidation to my other half. Much of it owing to the self determination, narrowed mind and capability I had. I remembered buying mum a pair of 2 carat diamond earings which I easily bombed a few thousands on it. A nice kinetic gravitied watch for dad which is close to thousand.Those are the day I literally outshine all my peers and many are looking up towards me because I am spending and earning my own money. I am beginning to miss school and I reckon that I will be heading back school real soon which I am looking forward for the coming year.It will be a new start altogether and I will be hitting-on with new friends and start with my new affiliated uni-mates. Knowing new up-coming working individual and potential clientele.

.

I am a pressure cooker, the higher the stress amount, the higher I am capable to achieve and soar greater heights. School is a great place and absolute playground for me, may it be during secondary school days, poly days or my uni-days. I am always actively involved in nonsenses which is great fun other than brain twisting projects.

.

2010 will be a fulfilling year to come. I will be staging for a damn hectic year to achieve my goal with my own ability. Yet to come but looking forward to getting my first car without the help of my dad. The Porche to be exact. In time to come, I will run work with my rightful schedule for the remaining of the year paced to stretch myself full force.

.

For relationship wise, I have long forgotten since when I've lost so much confident in myself. I feel paranoid which I usually would not, I feel insecure which I usually would not as well. I really miss those days where we handled us so well and we trusted each other so much. We make lesser calls, and there is not even the need to inform each other about our whereabouts or whatsoever. The 10 months of dating were the most enjoyable until the trust factor avalanches with the cause and we are suffering the effects now. I am unhappy and hated the current self, because I really do not know why am I turning into such a paranoid and insecure girlfriend. I know my hubhub is suffering from it because he has to pacify me more often than what he used to do. I am no better either. Its very annoying and bitter to suffer this paranoid-ing behaviour. Now I understand how a paranoid Girlfriend feels like. How a paranoid girlfriend react and how insecure they are. Therefore in order to reduce this amount of insecurity they would choose to be around their guy as much as they can. It feels like shit and its the worst nightmare. It is unhealthy for us as well. How can I remedy it well? We just want to be happy. Just like the little easily contented enjoyable couple we used to be. We just want to love each other and be happy.

.

I was verbally hurled by my dad. This time round things get real ugly although I remained slience throughout. Things got worst when he used very ugly words at me and I started tearing. I remained quiet. I do not know why am I in such a pitiful state to be so badly verbally abused by my dad. My dad had little education, therefore words used are pretty abusing and unpleasant. He sounded me as such an useless daughter, a bitch, an ungrateful maggot who does nothing for the family. I really felt so hurt and I left the house when he is still hurling away. One of the worst I've felt. I went downstairs crying by myself at 11pm until my buddy came. At times when your emotional balances screwed you up, causes internal disorder. I have to handle the dumb insecure self and to digest the lousy verbal abuses. I dont even have to courage to bother my hubhub, I am afraid that he will feel that I am trying to divide attention from him which I am really not. But I just felt so miserable.

A lesson to be learn

The lesson to be learn

Out of own accord

At once I felt so tired

I felt so unworthy which is meaningless

There are little appreciation and everything is taken for granted

It is a bad omen when I start doubting

Nothing good comes out of it eventually

I am giving everything up

It is painful

but it will be more tormenting if I have to take the risk to go through these adhoc behaviours he randomly gave.

I am a human,

a living person who needs appreciation.

I am not an object, a tool nor am I a thing.

I do not need him to be grateful of the things I've done,

I do not need him to entertain me 24/7,

I do not need him to give me surprises every now and then,

I don't need these.

Sometimes I just need a simple hug and a gentle whisper to tell me that he appreciate it.

But I ended up receiving the feeling of I am just an extra.

An extra who is at help of his when he needs me,

and "please give him some space" policy when do not need me.

How nice he is when he wanted me to help him out with work,

How attitude he is when wanted me to leave him alone when he is merrying in a party.

I do not want to be that Extra anymore

Why do I need to be an Extra when I can be so well protected like a precious piece of GEM ?

M.E.Ssage

Here's a message to mel.

.

1. Hey mel, you finally updated your xanga blog. FINALLY ~
2. I am glad that you are single and that's the end of your confinement
3. So Roy do not need to sit at your corridoor and chit chat with you
4. So Roy, Joz and myself will be able to see you more often
5. You wont go missing for our hotel stay anymore
6. We can call you for booze
7. Lar Tei session * Sorry we downgraded to coffee shop for cheaper means, its no longer the Lido mac we met *
8. Remember the magnet I handmade for you like ages ago? My god, its like freaking 6 - 7 yrs ago. The star star thingy
9. Although all of us knows that you are a super werido, but you are still a great friend
10. and your ex.gf is still single < I better strike this off before I got killed by Holly >

By the way I am talking nonsense for point no. 10

Management

I am thinking of love management. Managing a relationship with future outcome. I am doing whatever I can to manage it, but the jig.saw wouldn't fall into place with one party. I cannot do it alone. I never want us to fall into a stagnant. A plain boring long term relationship like many couple do, stay home, watch tv, do nuts, have sex . . . I mean, haven these people forget how they used to date each other? In a nut-shell, a love relationship needs to be manage and not taken for granted. I start to think over my existance in his life. I am glad that we spent a great Saturday doing Kayating together. On the hind-side, I believe it makes no difference whether I am there or not. I can sense that he is getting bored again and its less than 2 months time. So what is the point of being there, for the sake of being there? No incentives, no bonus, no appreciation and worst of all, it just make you feel like a piece of unnotice hanging hook on the wall. I do have dignity, ego and strong pride which I decided to lower myself in front of him. But it is never appreciated.

.

* Don't make me feel that I can cling onto you day and night IF you don't intend to make it happen.

.

* Dont tell me that I invaded your privacy WHEN you are the one who told me I can look into your handphone anytime.

.

* Don't make me feel that we can spend our lifetime together IF you don't intend to make us workout.

.

* Dont make me a boring GF not because I am boring, BUT its you who got bored of me.

.

* Dont tell me that we have reached the husband and wife stage BECAUSE you are not interested to bring me out for a date.

.

* Dont tell me you love me alot BECAUSE this is the way you love me.

.

* And dont make me look like a stupid fool WHEN you are the idiot who hugged me tight and told me you will treat me with greatness from then on before you left for work assignment at KAPLAN Centrepoint.

The Puppy

.The puppy.

She gets excited and happy every time she sees him

She enjoys the cuddling and doting whenever he is willing to give

She gives everything she has without reserve

Sometimes when he is in the mood, he will bring her to extremely fun places where she is more than overjoy.

She stays by his side whenever he needs company.

But during times when he is having fun,

he slip her off his mind where she will be longing for the next cuddle.

Sometimes even when she gets extremely tired,

she'll still drag her tired feet to earn the cuddle in his arms.

Although she faced hurdles and direct confrontation,

she will still want to stay by his side.

But

She do not want to be treated as a puppy,

someone to be so readily available.

Someone who he can give a pat on her head when he feels like it.

Walk away and expect that she will be waiting.

Come back when he feels like it.

Think of her only when he misses her warm company and when help is needed.

To be call to come and go.

She just has a simple pure loving heart for him.

She don't want to be just a little puppy.

Can she ?

The Disco King/Queen

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Thursday

Shhh . . .~ He is sound asleep. I had dinner with his mum and groceries shopping at the supermarket. I carried the soup brewing ingredients back home, started the cutting and chopping of the home brew lotus root soup. We haven been having home cook dinner for these few days which consitute the reason why I am dying to have a taste of some home cook soup :)

.

He had a hectic hardcore of booze the previous night which namely reveals the reason why he is sleeping at this current moment. He had his night spent in his humble like sedan until my morning call wakes him up with a snooze mode of a 10 minutes interval. Yes he spent his night in his multi-storey carpark. Well, to make a comparison, he is better off than my buddy kenny who once spent his night in the badminton court in front of his residing block where 8 - 5 office personnels treated him like some refugees of strange look.

.

Myself

.

I woke up the moment I voiced my morning call to him. Had my breakfast and was waiting paitently for the Osim repair man to arrive. The footrest of my massage chair got stucked. Headed toward daddy's workplace and I was ordered to pick my doggie up for some grooming appointment. Kenneth the groomer was not around, so I ended up in Pat's nail salon to get my medi, pedi done up. I suppose to meet Patrix up for some afternoon coffee session but he ended up in Alexandra again. Guys and cars.

.

It seems like a boring Thursday, nevertheless what is important ? Hubhubie to have a well body rest. He had been draining himself badly and too frequently. *shakes head* Making a flashback, he had been spending his nights out since last Saturday night. I bet he threw the kayating activity this coming saturday off his mind. Oh btw, I didn't go for the Transformer drive-in movie at Fort Canning last Saturday. He already made his plans with his friends therefore I didn't even mention anything to him. But to imagine it, with the more than human size Bumble Bee Transformer machine beside his cute little bubble tank, its gotta be so cute. Well too bad, its a miss.

.

Messy . . Messi

I picked up the keys and drove down to Zouk after numerous smses, and nagging. I finally handed the car key to the valet. Met up with the 3 Erics, the Pong, Guay and Lim. In fact I was pretty surprise that Pong was there with Kel.H. and my jaws went ajar to hear what my director Pong told me. My eyes went into a straight line.

.

I have no idea what Daren told Kel. and I have no idea what Kel told Pong. Pong simply said " Kel said that your life is very messy " Messy and messed up carries 2 different meaning altogether. I twitched my eyes to Kel and gave the killer look for smudging my reputation. I've did nothing. I tapped Kel by the back gave the darting eyes and said " What ~~ !! dont anyhow say hor, what messy . . . I am very define with my actions and I follow the no nonsense policy at least for myself " He turned and chin pointed towards the direction where ly was standing. We were at the next table in fact. Seriously I feel that Kel has a problem/prejudice with ly; or mayb he've seen ly bumming around long enough with never ending episodes flirting in the past? or maybe did his gfs got screwed by him? Or probably is ly who had a condemn past where a mentor like Kel would always remind me to stay away from him? Marvelously, can anyone tell me what happened?

.

And to clear up. I am not Messy its just messed and screwed up somewhere back in the past, but hopefully not in the future anymore. I loathe such labels, especially when my director is the one telling me this . . . . . '_' "

Bloodties

After hearing so much, I finally watched Bloodties the movie this afternoon. I watched it by myself, knowing that he wouldn't have the time to catch it with me thou he promised to catch it with me together the following week after his gala premiere :s Aniwaes. . .

.

The story was well-written, It is definately worth watching. It is more of a thriller than some horrifying ghostly tale seen on its trailers.

.

.

It's the twist of the story that catch you off suspense, *thumbs up*. Catch it in theaters and have a new benchmark for local productions. A piece of comment, forget about Jack Neo's "Where got Ghost" or some local 881. This piece of film is comparable to those renown Hongkong movie flicks in the market.

Sometimes

Sometimes you just cant help but to miss him

Love you vs like you

喜欢他 - 可能是他为你所做的一切

爱他 - 却从不计较为他做的一切

。

喜欢他 - 可能是他的个性很不错

爱他 - 却是连他坏的离谱的性格都能接受

。

喜欢他 - 可能是应为他的好

爱他 - 却是连他所有的缺点都能接受

。

喜欢他 - 是在他做完运动时，臭的不得了的时候叫他去洗澡

爱他 - 却是在他最脏的时候给他一个拥抱

。

喜欢他可以有很多很多个理由，

但爱他，你却说不出，为什么你可以就只对他一个人好。

。

我就只想对你一个人好，

我重来都不觉得你可爱，直到我发现我真正的爱上你。

Jellie

His/her name is given by me : Jellie.

Jellie looks like a discard plastic bag from far.

Jellie looks Silly, Slimmy but it is toxic.

Jellie was found in the open canal of SengKang Park one day.

Both hubhubie and I believed that Jellie is the Grand-daddy of 50cts mini Jellie super Junior.

We cant keep Jellie as our pet as the container we brought is too small for Jellie.

The diameter of Jellie is about 12cm,

lenght apx to be 15cm.

Its cute and blur,

Slow moving and wobby.

See you soon at SengKang Park Jellie.

Its a refresh

Watched this fabulous movie 6 years ago about the Japanese clan war of 2 major ninja families where the only daughter and son of this 2 clans fell in-love.

Interesting :)

Have a good laugh

The moon light

Wululu wululu daily reported live on air.

Taken from the telescope from the window off Dr.Wu's apartment @ 9.45pm Saturday.

Objective of the showdown is to monitor if there is any unknown objects/living.

Capturing the rapid moving moon with our naked eyes.

The close-up of the moon in place.
Beautiful

Telescope for rental @ SGD$30.oo per day

Reported by Seven Shi wululu wululu daily, equipments supported by Dr Wu's unknown object research lab.

" 3 Days 2 Nights "

Day 3

Updates of journal entries. What are the consequences for not returning home for the past 2 nights. I got screwed verbally over a video conference from my mum and reprimanded over the phone 3 hours ago by my dad before I got home. I stood below my residing block for a good half an hour before I decided to head back home.

.

Its Sunday, I woke up in his bed as usual, open my eyes, saw him sitting in front his lappy with facebook and cellphone in his hand. I rolled on the bed for a good 25minutes accompanied by on-coming disturbance of his incoming smses he discreetly replied. * roll eyes *

Back in the living room when he was deleting the sent smses he gave, I took a glance and saw his flirting sms. * roll eyes again * Sigh, scandalous . . . . He quoted an example; it is wrong to smuggle unpaid duty tax cigarettes across customs, but as long as you're not caught its okay. My reasoning, yeah . . he is one daredevil who smuggles unpaid duty tax cigarettes across custom even though he was caught for the past 2- 3 occasions. Lets applause for the courage. Well the hind side of it, penalty just higher each time.

.

I asked him who am I to him, and I hated his dubious answers, Boo . . Any acquaintance or prey out there who question him if he has a girlfriend. Oh yes, he is truthful enough to say no of course, he do not have a girlfriend. He is always truthful, because I am no girlfriend but wife-to-be. So sweet and nice. Is there a relationship status for wife-to-be? I think so. I think being Engaged is the word to use :) I am so glad for the recognition and I should introduce myself as that in future. The word for husband-to-be should be call Fiance.

.

Day 2

It was late evening when he decided to dig his telescope out of his store room to check out the moon. He did. Those skywatching tri-port telescope. I was impressed and amazed. How many young girls would have died in his sweetness and innovation, giving jaws-dropping amusement to his Casanova's way to increase the wow factor in him. Impressive. If I have a choice to not fall in-love with him, I would choose to be his female buddy. Like who I am towards Kny, Tny and Dan. For most people who knows my buddies, they are ultimate jerks towards women out there but greatest friends of mine. Its my luck, I have no reasons how the shit to comprehend about my hubhubie. I am just too into him. I just love him so damn much I do not know why. He is ultimate, he is great in all ways, he is a great cook, he is romantic, he is so sugary sweet, he is adorable, he is interesting, he is not fugly but the fatal point, he can be flirtatious in many ways towards others. He is not only Bad bad boy, he is also naughty naughty boy Sometimes

.

Day 1

We were burning joss sticks and paper monies below his block with his mum. Praying and making blesses for individuals as what chinese used to do during the lunar 7th month. We had our lovely conversations below his block. We spent lovely time together doing the weirdest things. We did simple yet enjoyable moments shopping in the newly opened Daiso across his place. We had lovely and heartwarming hugs during our shop-out in the supermarket. I never get bored with his company and hopefully it is vice-versa. He never complain on my lousy whipped up dinner. He gives me warmness and a place named home. I love him, I would gladly stay by his side, keep him company and take care of this big kid till the days we are old and grey. I love him even during times when he pissed me off. Everything remains and my love for him still increases as days past. He seen it, feel it and he knows everything will be great as long as he don't break my heart again.

I started it.

I started flipping through my stuffs and I found these poems and poetry in my drawers.

Have a good laugh at it.

.

.

Tears

She cried when he gave her the first rose

She cried when he said he loved her

She cried when they first made love.

She cried when she said " I do "

She cried when she saw their first born.

She cried when he cheated.

She didn't cry when she got half his assets.

.

Affair

Steven felt guilty because he had an affair with Julie.

So, he bought diamonds and expensive holidays for his wife.

His wife found out about the liaison because steven was careless with his mobile.

Steven's wife called up Julie,

" Thank you very much,

please keep making my husband happy.

I'm eyeing for the BMW Z4.

.

Stupid

I hate you,

you lying bastard.

I believed you,

and you cheated.

You can go to hell,

I don't give a fuck.

There is nothing left to dwell,

Its just my rotten luck.

How could I love him?

I must be blind.

He is actually quite dim,

Aint worth a dime.

I was stupid

I was a fool

Damn you CUPID,

Go fix your fucking TOOL!

I found these

Carousal San Fransisco Age 19

Singapore Zoologicial Garden

Toyko Disneyland age 16

Fisherman Wharf San Frans

Golden Gate Bridge San Frans.

I don't who's the auntie

What is Criterias?

More than often, we set benchmark for the other half we have. I was discussing this issue with hubhub this afternoon when we were meddling with accounts for his shop. What do you see in the other half. I am simple in a way with benchmarks. After meeting up with all kinds of people I've seen for the past 25 years of my life, I found out that appearance is only primary.

.

Too bad, in many cases men are shallow. Somehow they do not appreciate the good, because they only look with their eyes. If you will to ask me, what kind of guys I am attracted to? Men with brilliant brains. They do not need to be ultra suave or damn great looking, those kind of shallow appearance are meaningless to me. What matters the most is what are they made of? Are they made of drives and passion?

.

I refreshed myself of why am I attracted to my hubhub. The words he said; men full of promises are the ones who can't fulfil it. Men with actions never make promises. * That was when I grew affection for him *

.

Besides that, I love men who are filial, during one of the many nights a year ago when hubhub and I were working on the accounts at Macdonalds' beside his place, he told me this; looking at the amount of hardwork his mum did to support the family. He said; seeing my mum slogging for living made my heartache. My perception of him changed.

.

During one of the nights when he reprimanded me so strongly for not loving myself enough during those days when I was with Ian. My favour for him increases. This goes on and on, I finally got myself so involved with him. I grew from liking to love, I started entrusting faith onto him as the days grew. He told me that he will not discard me away. I start loving him more each and everyday. I want to spend the rest of life with him. Until one day, the fatal incident happened. I experienced the first lethal heartache. I start to accept that nothing is perfect. He is not perfect neither do I. At the point of time, I walked out his place when he was fast asleep. I decided to give him up. I did not flare nor did I tear. I just walked away. The feeling of disappointment overwhelmed. He got me back and justify for his wrong being and I was taken in. He gave his word for the first time.

.

Things went on fine for a month or so until one day, he decided to put a full-stop to all the fairy-tale he created. I was cool about it when this news broke up and I never realised I've put so much into it. I headed rock-bottom. I went off track and that was when I found out, I've given so much without myself realising it. At that point of time, I know that the only thing to do is to escape. I ran away abroad. Even thou, I can't stop missing him.

.

I came back and finally decided to give up totally. The only way to do is to cut away all updates and contacts. I started deleting all contacts of him.

.

He called again one late night to pick up my ring which I left in his place. I went, he hugged me tight when I see him again. We were back together once again and he gave his word for the 2nd time that he will not abandon me again.

.

The story will go on and on . . . . . . back on track to my topic Criteria. The only criteria I have. I dont need a dream guy, drop dead gorgeous, someone who is as sweet as honey, super sweet and nice. The criterias I have is simple, is a true person, who holds honour in words, not deceptive, who has integrity, filial, he cannot be dubious, knows how to sincerely care for others, love can be simple care and concern, littlest things made great difference. I only believe in qualities which last, not quantity which die off as time goes by. You will never realise that the carbon you are holding is a diamond unless you are willing to test it with time. Diamonds are made from carbon anyway. Lousy quality graphites carbon diamonds die off and the shine they gave will eventually diminish as time goes by.

.

Blesses and prayers: I've been busy lately, but dont worry I never forget my prayers for the ones I love, friends who care and peace in heart. Blesses for all my lovelies with good health and ability to face different challenges in life. Blesses for Kelvin's little newborn with wisdom and health. Blesses for Michelle and premature baby girl with good Health. Lastly I pray for greater warmness and harmony for home. God bless.

Finally

This is work

Finally,

I've got the pictures up after the debugging and updates of software from Java scripts.

Its hot stuffs

Especially when you see who's here endorsing it.
Contains Pure Ginseng and Thermal Plankton among other ingredients to soothe tired eyes!

Woah ho . .

Over the weekends

Its Sunday

I spend pratically most of my nights with my hubhub in our usual night time cuddle. Of course, I fall into the predicament of my family and him. I was talking to my mum and she is thinking of her retirement plan. Which means, I will be taking over whatever burden they have. I am stress up over my family business and the only one I can turn to is myself. I have got no one to help me up nor do I have anyone to share the burden with me. I was talking to my brother Alfred somedays ago, as he wishes to learn the trade of our family. I really need someone whom I trust to help me up. Intensive work loads and sandwiched between my parents' debating session really screwed me up. Therefore I tend to get piss over minor stuffs.

.

I am so freaking hell tired.

It was

It was, and then, and then. . . .

.

We were at Richard's place for some chills Edinger before we headed down to velvet. During our convo, Huhhub comes into place during our discussion and I believe he couldn't take it anymore. Some issues on the private space in between.

.

This topic did outbreak later part at night where he did voice out that I am not giving him a space of his own. I just do not like the way he potrays himself. For a fact the body languages he gave is obviously inviting curious dates for women out there. He gives a feeling that he is afraid to let people knows that he is attached and he is mine. For a matter of fact, he just drives me mad when things he said were ridiculously mean. : Probably, I should just change a club to party. I turned and walked away when he said that. I was mad at it even at this present moment. Why not just make a point that when he is doing his casanova act, make me a stranger. He makes me sound as if I am an unreasonable girlfriend who will agressively tag along where ever he goes. Or some posessive girlfriend who hinders his private time with friends. This is especially irritating when everyone keep asking me where he was and most of the time I practically have got no idea.

.

I am still mad.

and

still mad

.

I remembered him telling me this not long ago; My dear, next time we go phuture party together ok, we will have fun together, I will be a good boy and keep you company. Not to mention this, if he don't intend to mean it, please don't say it. The worst thing, he said something like that, not fulfilling it yet tells me he is changing a place to club so he will not bump onto me. The . . . . this just makes me feel like a pain in his ass.

.

I am mad and I am still pissed

^.^

*.* Monday *.*

It was last night during shower, he rolled into my mind and I just cant stop missing him.^ Impromptu; my dad also watch " Ou Xiang Ju " Ming zhong zu ding wo ai ni. So funny - - Ruan Qing Tian and Chen Qiao'en^ Alright, back to my hubhubie. It was past mid-night when I was having my shower yesterday. We parted early last evening with a ^.^ see him soon kiss and I went back home. During shower and scrubs for half an-hour, I can't help but to tell myself that I am sleeping alone tonight and due to busy work schedule both of us have, we can't see each other the next day, which is today. . . Somehow I just feel real sad. I got to miss him for a day. I find my blog turning into " Rachel's" blog with entries of myself and hubhubie most of the time. brandoniloveyou.wordpress.com Well I just hope these sweet misses and entries I post just go on and on and on . . . . . . . . . without anymore hipcups or emergency humps which gives heart attacks. I hope that my hubhubie misses me as much as I do, I hope that my hubhubie think of me when he has the time to. I hope that when he is lying on his bed with my favourite pillow by his side, he is missing me.

.

I just got home after my work appointment, I looked at my newly bought roller blades, I just had an instant thought of heading towards ECP like now. But looking at my way to recovery scarp on my right knee, I abandon the idea as I do not want to suffer another slow fall comical fall upon the trip over my brakes behind my right blades. Isn't brake pads suppose to act as safely device, yet I got myself injured because of that. Silly me. . .

.

I was having lunch with my aunties this afternoon in my dad's workplace when my gossipy auntie asked me about hubhubie. The question she probed. " How come your friend looks so different now? " So i went, last time young ma. . . I went back to work after lunch when hubhubie called ^.^ He was ordering MacDonald's when the server asked him " Is coke fine for him " Spontaneously I replied. No, have Sprite instead. Hubhubie instantly replied after me over the phone and had his coke changed into sprite. After which he realised, eh -.- he is the one having the big mac meal not me. Hee.. heee ... then I told him, coke stains teeth but not sprite and he accepted my reasoning. At that certain moment I found out, my life spins around he's. Even during those weeks and months he left me standing and fending by myself, I hasn't leave him a single bit because I didn't give up. I understand that many of my dear friends are sick worried about me, but I know hubhubie will be able to prove them wrong this time round. He is my precious baby and I know he treats me as he's as well. ^_^ Going for shower, face mask now and wait for my dearest Baobei's call ^..^

默默

It is simple yet Wonderful

I had a great weekend with hubhub! Although we meet up everyday, but it seems to be never enough. We had lovely strolls in the park, kite flying in the open field and I know there are more to come. Having him by my side, physicially and emotionally gives daily sugar rushes. We had an early night yesterday, hugging each other to bed, with interlocked legs gives pure happiness in us. Thank you I had a well-night sleep, thank you my lovely hubhub. I have a dozen of appreciation for my good-boy hubhub. I've conclude that I really sleep best when he is around me. Can I be selfish enough to have you for my lifetime?

.

.

Sunday

We had our prayers for lunar 7th month at dad's workplace. Therefore, today happens to be the soft-launch of showcasing hubhub to a fraction of my family. Hubhub came in an adorable dressed-up yellow strip jacket accompanied by his new hairstyle which looks like a replica of Bruce Lee. Hubhub is so damn cute. I had his picture taken of him posing beside his little yellow bumble-bee and that makes him looks amazing adorable.

.

Food served at the workplace sucks, I practically eat for the sake of eating. We hang around for a while and headed towards the abandon house at the hilltop of Jln Remaja. Hubhub poor bumble-bee stalked for a few times before we reached the final hilltop. The uphill road is steep and sitting in the co-driver seat can't stop me wondering if bumble-bee will back speed down the slope. The abandon house on the hilltop was flatten. There's practically nothing left now except the high wall of the drive way. Hubhub and I had over the fence to get onto the other end of it. On our climb-up out, I accidentally landed my butt on hubhub's head (So sorry my lovely hubhub :S) After which he piggy back me on his shoulders before I landed safely on the ground. We drove down-hill and pay Masaki a visit as he resides just nearby. I love the part when Hubhub is doing the arm wrestling with Masaki. As an audience point of view, both of them just look so comical.

.

.

We left and headed towards 6th Ave for some steaks. Steaks at Aston, a coffee-shop steak house with afforable pricing. Sirlon steaks at just S$10.90 :) After which we headed down towards Tan Quee Lan st for my baobao's indoor tanning. During the wait, I just roamed around Bugis junction when I bumped onto Shane, who exclaimed that I put on weight. Yipee. After 40 mins, I reconcile with my baobao and we went shopping for mask at Wastons, window shopping at the toy-shop as usual and Kinokuniya for fashion magazines.

.

Kinokuniya - Hubhub insisted of getting me a VIVI MAGAZINE to make me update on my fashion sense ("-.-). . . But fashion this season is kind of the Mama Leopard style. The kind of style I'll never follow. I always prefers the Victorian / Bohemian style. I had a few new style in mind and the problem is that those quality clothings are not availiable in Singapore. I fell inlove with a Emporian style Jacket and I was reminded on the VIVI MAGAZINE again. Once again I was tempted to get my ass to Umeda-Japan streets once again. Umeda-Shin Osaka is the place loaded with quality priced clothings and lovely one and only style. . . Baobao and I are making our plan to HongKong next month after his shoots. I was kind of relectant as I can foresee I would not be able to get that kind of quality clothings in "Bugis St style" in Langham mall or Yau Matei/Mongkok of HongKong. Designers clothings in Central were never cheap. Most likely the possible brand(s) I'll be interested in is the Playboy Jeans. Anna Sui, Miss Sixty, G-star raw in HongKong is never worth the buy, I will rather get them in Japan with a fast forward in fashion and a good price of 30% off in their departmental store, or even better in the FACTORY OUTLETS in OSAKA>/.

.

On our way back to our car to update our soon to be overtimed coupon, we met up with "Fatima" but the male one. I shall name him Uncle Summon. Fatimas are in their fasting month, therefore should be quite "Bo Eng" My KPO hubhub is very happy to see car owners getting summon for not putting parking coupons. We practically stood along the roadside for a good 10 mins for see cars being summons. We had our dinner again, at the Crystal jade tea house. I love the beancurd there. Most important factor of the beancurd. It is smooth. We had our quiet dinner reading our magazine we had while waiting for food to arrive. Although we never chat much during dinner, but its the comfortable feeling we had enjoying in the company of each other's pressence. Nevertheless I just want to thank my baobei for being so much joy for the week.

/argh.

I am getting so irritated over blogger. It shows error on page whenever I want to get my pictures uploaded. The accumulated pictures backdated since hubhub's Birthday chalet. I've tons of interesting pictures I took at my workplace and I'm sure you guys will feel a pinch of hair-raising experience when you guys see those pictures. hahaa. . . (Especially during this lunar 7th month )The spellcheck is not working as well so pardon me for spelling errors on top of my poor command of English. Working 2 fulltime jobs at the same time is hectic. I am glad that I do no have to waste time in school this semester. I requested for a pause for it. Otherwise I will be a piece of dead meat. . . . I started spending lesser and lesser time with my valued friends as time has been always a constrain.

.

Naturally, during off-work hours, I will try my very best to spend some quiet time with my hubhub. Even though I am dead beat at times, I will still take every opportunity I can have to meet up my lovely as much as I can. He is just so addictive and I can't wait to see him after work. I start missing him all over again the moment we part each time I can't stayover his side and I will look forward for our meet-up the next day. At a point of time, I really wish that I can sleep next to him each and every night but I know I can't. Argh. . I simply indulge into him and I just love him so freaking much.

.

and yes, I will do my upload of pictures once I am able to do so. :) -

Lovely evening

Evenings of golden

lying in his arms made heaven

In those nights of indulgence,

they seems like having a mouthful of creamy melted chocolate dripped onto a silk woven dress.

I love it when you caress your fingers along my hair,

and when you hugged me tightly within your well built arms,

to show that I am truly yours.

I will press my lightly weak fingers onto your back,

hoping to distress the ache you had.

Sometimes I'll elbow the lower hip of yours to make you kick and swim,

not in a puddle of water,

but the warm cozy bed that we always roll-on.

I am mesmerised by you,

not for the appearance you gave,

but the feeling is just so right.

The passionate feeling I reckon that can last for our lifetime.

(' - ')

你看你的脸。 。 。哇

不要看我的哪 。 。 。

我的宝贝最可爱了!

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

。

甜甜小品

甜嘴蜜舌: 如果你要我算算我爱你多少，我想我会许要用上一辈子去算!

傻傻女 : ("- 。-)

甜嘴蜜舌: 你知道你哪里最美吗? 没想到，你人美，心更美 。 。

傻傻女 : (- ，- ")

哇，脸上有蚂蚁，从嘴里爬出来! 你果然是甜嘴小弟!

Misses

It was Monday evening when I headed down to Chinatown to meet my lovely hubbie hub up for my favourite " water boiled beef " Shui xu nu rou,

I parted with dearest early today as I know and I can feel that he is longing to hang out with his group of brothers, knowing he had been a "Zai nan" for quite sometime.

I headed back to my hometown and meet up with my usual kakis.

The usual group of buddies ;

In fact I am really thankful that I am surrounded by this group of great people :)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Finally I got to see who is kny's his "colleague",

lolx, the one hol and I was so interested in.

She sent me home after our chillout session.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Conrad celebrated his birthday at Zouk Velvet last Friday with Fu and company,

no wonder Chris was there last Friday,

It was a "BANG" last Fri and Sat due to the guest DJ and anniversary thingy.

Although I was not there for Conrad's Bday,

Sincerely blessing him with great health and luck in work.

Sorry Conrad, I wasn't there for your birthday,

You made my day on my Birthday last month.

Do have a post celebration, I'll definately by there :)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

Coming back to my Dearest hubhub,

I miss his so much ever since we parted this evening.

Good night and kisses.

I am longing to see you tomorrow ! ! AGAIN !!

Till an extend I just cant stop missing him,

it has been a year,

thru all ups and downs we've went through,

we finally recognised each other,

being the one and only.

Thank god,

he dim and shoned our path once again to make us realise want we really want in life.

Chalet updates

There's some problems with my java script and apologise that the photos cant be uploaded.

I bunked in the chalet hubhub had for his post birthday (Tue and Wed) celebration at Changi Safra club,

It is tiring and hectic for the both of us as we only managed to sleep during dawn for the 2 nights.

Thou it was mentally and physically draining,

but I really do appreciate that hubhub invited me along to share fun and laughter with people he often hang out with :-)

People around him are great, sincere being.

For some people I've met,

somehow you just can't help but to love them for the true being in them.

I can't help but to love the people around him,

David, Yvonne, Kelvin . . . . .

What I see in people are seldom the physical appearance in them,

I tend to listen, observe and feel the sincerity in others.

And they are simply great people,

the care, they give, and they are true hearted beings.

That is what I am concern with, and those are the people I will love to know.

.

.

.

.

.

For my hubhub,

I know that he is trying his best to prove how much he loves me ever since we decide to hold onto each together once again.

I would really like to apologise to him during times when I am afraid.

I just couldn't help it, because I am terrified to get hurt once more thats why I am paranoid.

I understand that he is making alot of changes for me,

to be a promising good boy,

to let me know that he loves me alot.

I didn't mean to drench him with cold water each and every time when he promises something,

I didn't mean to tell him that don't bluff lar,

I didn't mean to tell him all the skeptics friends had on him to turn him down,

I didn't mean to be mean at times when I am not as accommodating as before,

I really didn't mean to.

Deep down in me,

I am just scared.

I just love him too much.

On the other side of the fence,

I really indulges into every moment we had together,

exploring parks,

walking up slopes and got freaked out hopping toad,

flying helicopters together,

talking about future plans,

hugging and kissing him during every opportunity I have.

Spending time together although we are doing nothing.

I would really love to spend my life with this man hand in hand.

.

.

.

.

Prayers for the day, Sorry that I've miss the service today due to heavy work load. But nevertheless, I would like to tell god, to shine onto my path with more faith and trust with this man I often mentioned. I know he is trying very hard and I really do appreciate it. I told god I want to spend my lifetime with my hubhub regardless of the turbulence we went through. Turbulence empowered us and make our bond stronger, makes our path clearer and proved to us how much mutual love we had for each other. This love can only get stronger each day and I believe it is. I thank god for making this happen and bring him back to to me again, not the playful man everyone used to view but a good man he is.