Oppression

Tears encircling my eyes and I was trying to suppress it on my way home.

I just kept very quiet when he is doing his lecture 'again'.

I know he is tired and stress up with work.

I just bear and tolerate as much as I can although what he said is utterly unreasonable and hurting.

I just sat very quietly at the back seat without a single word just because he is my father.

There's a sudden impulse to open the door and get out of the car when it stops at the traffic junction.

The feeling of being heavily burdened, mentally and physically.

I know I can only turn into myself.

I am so lifelessly drained.

How I wish I can just erase myself from the world,

I am not blaming on anyone,

I just feel like crap.

* Sleep well and tomorrow will be another crap day *

Butter factory 3rd anniversary

Taken by Photographer Vincent

And I cant imagine VAN drank the mixers leftovers in each glass FL poured in the jug.

Just makes my hair stand.

I am just pondering over, it that orange juice?

Be true

Just need to be honest and truthful to myself.

Without the superficial acts.

Because my heart wouldn't lie.

I still feel great around him.

Comfortable, heart-easing, familiar.

When he hugs me,

strokes his fingers on my head,

it warms my heart somehow and I really do not know how to shake that feeling off me.

He ask me to date someone else.

I wish I could, but I just feel so damn weird,

holding a pair of hands which doesn't belongs to the familiar him,

or kissing someone new.

Erm,

I just do not know how to accept it.

Try falling for someone else?

The question is:

How to fall again when you didnt even get up in the first place?

There're just too many why and more why in my mind.

Nevermind,

I'll just concentrate in my work, pick up my hobbies in oil paintings and ceremics.

What will happen, eventually will

:-)

Act 3 - Closure

There are no losers in the game of love experience.
We are merely actors,
fulfilling our roles and in the story of us.
I once told you that we are similar.
In fact the smile I gave the day you sort things out,
I was just smiling at us,
thinking of how similar we are.

The curtains are drawn and the lights are off from the stage.

There is nothing to hide anymore.
You have a role to play.
So do I.
My role is to play a perfect girlfriend who stay by your side,
the wife material type perfect girlfriend,
super sweet and obviously I must be a great candidate infront of the eyes of everybody.
I remember telling this to you that;
A woman can be a great actor as well.
I picked up every hint you dropped.
From the day you said you do not want to owe me anything,
from the day you asked if "hubhub loves you"

from the day you told me where the earth can you get such a sweet loving girl,
I knew it.
But,
my role has to stretch and back spill to fulfil my criteria.
The criteria of being a perfect, sweet and understanding girl you had.
Feel shag and pain after you do not love me anymore.
Well yes,
There is hurt and pain a way or another.
My heart is still made of blood and fresh.
Its true that I feel stone and miss you here and then,
it has been 10 months after all.
-
Never in my life,
I've did such sweet stuffs and so much for a guy.

What you've said to me,

I'll say it back to you.
I love you for a fact I do not deny when things are so perfect and within what we control and feel.
Those blog entry for the past months are for real but commitments wise,

those hurt u gave were for real,
they are just for that time being when we are so much in love.
The last man in my life,
what a punch line which makes you flutters.
lolx
I cant say that is untrue.
Basically ahem,
you just did a wonderful benchmark for yourself and I dont think that anyone sooner will be the record breaker.
Great time and moments with you and its time to add on a beautiful perfect ending to our love story.
I am stressing over this point as well,
When we love each other lesser each day, getting too used to the routine and I hate to hit that routine especially for our perfect relationship,

Perfect relationship cannot have routines.
ultra sweetness turns into stress as we have to go an extra mile to attain the next level.
I am glad that you choosed to close our story this way.
because you know my role just cant let you down,
So director Mr L has to narrate our story with the Browny brown to play the bad guy.
-
Made up or whatever,
It doesn't hurt anymore.
-
Lets do the credit roll
-
Director : Mr L
Lead Actor: Mr L
Lead Actress: Ms 7
Narrator: Mr L
-

Eeeh, I like you

Thats the reason why I told you,

I like your style my evil twin ! !

-

-

PS: Dear readers, we manipulate our feelings to let us sculpt what we call a "Perfect relationship" Shining into each others life during that period of time. You cant say we do not know how to love when, we did love each other at the optimal once :) Its good enough to see both party loving at their optimal, thou it dont last, but who cares man.

Recovered

End of miseries

Director: -CUT-

-

-

Cant stand myself being too overly emo,

puking is bad for health.

Enough already.

Time for some clarification and credit roll

-

Comments to friends: I am true when I got hurt, I did make my emotional struggle to get myself off the scene. I am not lying.

For the one who understands me knows the best.

I did make the struggle.

我看不起你施凯琪! [Recovering Day 1]

-

施凯琪,

你不觉得你自己很可悲吗?

你觉得你自己很可怜吗?

没有人会可怜你!

那是你自找的。

我也看不起你!

吐什么吐?

你要靠你自己爬起来，

没有人会帮你

没有人可以帮你。

该放的你 一定要放。

你要学会放弃，

你才能得到解脱。

他妈的你!

你的坚强跑去了哪里?

在痛的，

你不是没有常过。

你爱的人又不是死了?

他只是不要你了嘛，

有必要那么伤心吗?

我很想打醒你，

因为我认识的施凯琪很坚强，

她是强者，

她不会被打败，

应为她不懦弱。

心想想他，

他不会痛的，

他对你那么绝情，

他不会再爱你了。

他是可怜的，

因为他的心是冰冷的。

你要面对现实，

更爱自己!

-

我恨我自己，
我不是败给了他。

。

我败给了我自己。
我想不到我会那么没用。

我会那么懦弱。

我没想过他的离开可以那么痛，

那么痛。

我恨我自己，
为何要让自己那么痛苦?
我告诉自己要开心点，
告诉自己一定要快乐起来。
我笑了，
可是我的心没笑。
仿佛我的心早就不属于我。
我笑我自己，
为何那么差劲?
我看不起自己。
我真的很没用。

我没想到我会那样对我自己。

我不想这样，

可我真的拿我自己没办法。

我的心以经不能在撑。

只是心里的痛，

不再是我能控制的。

The words

Set it free (:

Thanks to all my beloved friends and dearies who showered their concerns with their open arms for me for the past week.

I am fine and moving on with life with a greater smile on my face.

I've understood the situation and I apprehend that my relationship with him have reached an optimal which we wouldn't be able to go beyond.

A warm hug to the darlings with such sweet concern and 3 times smses of joke for the day to cheer my restless soul up for the past few days.

I am sorry I made you guys worried.

-

"许多的事情，总是在经历过后才懂得。一如感情，痛过了，才懂得如何保护自己；傻过了，才懂得如何适时的坚持与放弃，在得到与失去中我们慢慢的认识自己。学会放弃，生活就真的容易。 学会放弃，在落泪之前转身离去，留下简单的身影；学会放弃，将昨天埋在心底，留下最美好的回忆；学会放弃，让彼此都能有一个更轻松的开始，遍体鳞伤得的爱并不一定刻骨铭心。曾说过爱你的，只是，爱你，却不能和你在一起..."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Below is a letter for him and I hope that it would be a wonderful ending for us:

-

Dear L ,

-

I hope that this letter will have a wonderful closure for the fairy-tale relationship we shared for the past 10 months. I opened up the folder of photos I had named 爱爱宝贝to review and rename the folders as "The ending Fairy-tale" . Although I cant help to miss those lovely moments we shared and how much we had distanced ever since we hit a stagnant since last month. I am sorry that I wasn't that sensitive enough to be aware of the feelings you had in our relationship towards the ending month. Sorry to make you suffer and struggle in silence when it comes to us. I didn't know that I exert that kind of pressure onto you back then. I really appreciate that you told me everything and enable me to close-up the fairy-tale story of us with a smile.

-

Life goes on, and thank you for all the wonderful memories you left in me. I drew out the pictures of myself from the birthday album I gave last year. I kept the slots empty not to show that I hate you. I don't hate you at all. Those slots show imperfection of emptiness in the eyes of others. But both you and I know that, those are the moments we are so in-love, although they are empty now. Towards us, even the slots are empty, they will be always stay Perfect deep down in us. :)

-

I will not forget the moment when you held my hand at cathay many months ago and I view you as someone special other than some " Male Bimbo " I used to classify you as. * :p * I will never forget how you used smuggle me into your house as your piano teacher *giggles*. How you introduce me to your mum when she found out about us. I always remember how we learnt piano together, how we practice singing together and how I shivers cold sweat when you sing on stage. *smiles* I will always remember the first time you call me your wifey when we are so much in love back then. You just carry me on cloud Nine back then.

-

Deep down my heart I still laugh and reminisce on the crazy moments we had, wrestling on your bed, penguin walking, the DS " I pink u " pink pink pink you, watching just for a laugh together, watching Hooleeyaaa channel together and get excited on homosexual animals on Animal Planet. It seems simple but indeed we enjoyed ourselves very much in the process of loving.

-

We do not ike to argue over trival stuffs and shared the same passion for music. We watch ample of black and white old films together, although *rolling eyes* I was pretty bored up with that, I tried my best to show my interest by respecting the passion you had for films.

-

Writing this final part of the letter is difficult to not shed a few tear or two . We will have to go our separate ways though I am still very much in-love with you. No one is in the wrong when it comes to relationship and I believe you have did your best in us. I believe fate and music bring us together but destiny seperate us. I love you enough to end our relationship with a smile, to end your struggle in us, to remain as friends and stay visible in each other's life. I wish you all the best and fruitful sailing in your career. I believe one day you will be able to find the rightful girl whom you can love irregardless of how time can stale, who will love you and take care of you more than I do. I will be praying for you and please remember to take good care of yourself. Eat more as I do not want to see you getting slimmer and slimmer.

-

We will meet again as confidant and good friend.

Best of Regards

KaiQi

-

PS LY: Once again, I really thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your life with me for the past 10 months and making me the lead princess in the love story of yours. I will still stay as bubbly as how you used to know :) - I know it will be difficult for me to go into relationships in future. You simply set the highest benchmark in my relationship, *Smiles* * A round of applause for yourself * and be proud of it :) Although we part, but I will be more than glad to do silly things with you again as friends. Chat about anything under the sun with you. Simply, you will make the most familiar and comfortable friend who will understand and share the same thoughts as I do. Cheers and toast to oncoming friendship my dear Scrawny Brown Zai. :P

The depth

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

普通朋友

Finally

Finally I realised,

realising how much you are worth in the heart of mine.

Days without knowing how you are makes my life uneasy.

I do not know what have you done to me?

You told me that I will know it someday when I type on a Chinese sms to you back dated many months ago.

But I just know that I love you as much as I love myself.

Huahua told me that you are not going to get serious with me,

I didnt take it to heart.

He told me that you are just fooling around with me.

I do not believe.

How can you be fooling around with me for the past 9 months?

He told me to fool along with you,

I tried to,

but

I just find myself falling deeper and deeper into you.

I just want to love you.

Love is not complying on how much you are willing to give for me,

not complying on how much I am willing to give for you.

I just know that we are happy.

At least for the past months and days we spent.

We are not going to build it on how much each other give,

but to know that we are happy at the end of the day.

So wanting to call you,

but I do not have the courage,

I'm just afraid that you are going to reply me with a cold shoulder.

I am still so glad that I got to know you.

The one I am looking for.

I do not know if you are actually putting on an act or are you true,

I just want to love you as how I used to do as before.

To scratch your back,

massage your hands,

give you a full body massage,

look forward for the dinner you made.

And you to call me your Baobei.

Fallen

The slip

Walking down memory lane

Walking down the memory lane when the night falls.

Joyful memories of us keep flowing though the mind of mine during late nights.

Whenever I was puffing the lilted cigarette of mine between my fingers,

memories of us just occupied my mind.

I looked up into the sky to glaze at the twinkling stars just like what I usually does when I lean over your windows for a puff of smoke.

I was doing my revision for my coming exam, you spontaneously leaped into the thought of mine and ignited me to put this post up.

- - - - - - - - - -

It was 6 months ago when you injured your hand,

and I was doing my revision for my exam outside the operation theater as I waited patiently for your 3 and a half hours operation.

I was waiting anxiously for you,

pacing along the corridoor through and forth for hours with the lecture notes in my hands.

The sliding door opens and closes for a least a good hundred times before you were being wheeled out.

You looked pale while you looked at me with the frail smile on your smile to let me know that you are fine.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

It seems like yesterday,
when I helped you out with the accounts you are supposed to do at Serangoon Gardens.
We took sneaky glances at each other,
while we punches figures into the calculator to get your job done as soon as possible in order to optimise the time spend within the 2 of us.
- - - - - - - - - - -

It seems like yesterday when I celebrated my 24th birthday with you last year at the beach resort.

Accompanied with a little chocolate cupcake I had,

and the lovely violin musical box which is still sitting on my dressing table beside the pink horsie rocking chair and crown tiara you gave.

I just gave a warm smile while I reminisces.

The wonderful moments we had,

the man-made "mashmallow man" of you created via the foams we had in our jacuzzi tub.

- - - - - - - - - -
It seems like yesterday,
when I waited 3 hours for you around you residing area after your work to catch a glimpse of you and to get indulge in the warm hug of yours.
To sit around your neighbourhood and make fun of the wierd kid we met at the void deck.
- - - - - - - - -

It seems like yesterday,

when I drove you down to the hospital for follow-up check ups,

and you screamed while the doctor tried bending your fingers.

I was sitted outside the consultation room while you voice was being heard throughout the doorway.

- - - - - - - - - -

It seems like yesterday,

when we prepared so hard till 4am in the morning for your show the next day.

We sang the songs over and over again till we lost count of it.

We sing it when we were on the train,

we sing it when we were on the LRT,

we sing it when we were walking home with your hand across mine.

- - - - - - - - -

It seems like last night,

when i drove you home in the old camery,

bought Yakult from cheers and drank in the car.

You gave me a warm hug, bit my ear and told me how important I am to you.

- - - - - - - - - - -
You are still as important as who you are towards me even as time passes.

Time hasn't take away the amount of Love I had for you.

You are still deeply missed by me.

- - - - - - - - - - -
Back to Topic 6 of Advance Marketing notes

Super Baby and Wonder Girls

So Cute!!!!! Fall in love with the Wonder Baby, Check out the original MTV by the wondergirls and the WonderBaby version. Hahaa enjoy.

For Sale

Dreaming of Marvelous

Dreams dreams

dreams,

What a night of marvelous dream.

I woke up with a smile of satisfaction on my face.

*Ha hahaaa *

What cant happen in reality does happens in my dream.

See you again tonight [ In my dreams ] Slurp

ha haa

Dream on.

* Boo o *

Remarkable

Surprise to sit through the presentation of Teo Huahua,

indeed remarkable for such a short period of time.

His closing techniques were professional for once with such formal presentation he gave.

He no longer flutters and blink his eyes that much,

good enough as a buddy to see him stepping into the unlimited income of the insurance world.

He turned matured and gives off a sense of confident, which is great.

A soon to be perfect sales pitcher whom I know he will not let me down.

For once he talk sense in all aspects of life.

He turned wiser and he did make his persuasion an impact.

He rushed me home to concentrate on my coming exams and gives decent advices among one of the few times.

He painted me a picture of what will things be like.

He finally talk sense.

I am glad in a way which i really felt enlighten for once.

Those stuffs he told me and talks we made which made him ache when the topic switched over to Jer.

Well its time,

to fulfill the goals in our life and to make our focus for the year.

I know he will make it a bang in this business and I trust him with the kind of confident level built up for dual partnership teamwork proposed.

I can foresee,

a year down the road,

he will sidekick his own business on top being the elites among the financial sector.

As for the same,

I do not want to make my first million in 10 or 20 years down the road.

Let my own earned hard cold cash do the talking instead.

This is reality where the gullible and nonsense of me should stop.

Dreams and reality doesnt co-exist.

Yes, money cant buy happiness,

but it definately make life much easier.

Shape up or get ship out.

Back to Advance Marketing Chapter 3.5

Funny Torn by Natalie Imbruglia

Check out the video bar

= = = = = = = = = = = = =

Go funny with the lyrics accompanied via the video.

I thought I saw a man brought to life

He was warm He came around And he was dignified

He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn't be that man I adored

You don't seem to know Or seem to care What your heart is for

I don't know him anymore

There's nothin' where he used to lie

My conversation has run dry

That's what's going on

Nothings right I'm torn I'm all out of faith

This is how I feel I'm cold and I am shamed Lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed Into something real

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

You're a little late I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right

I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light

But you crawled beneath my veins

And now, I don't care I have no luck I don't miss it all that much

There's just so many things

That I can't touch I'm torn

There's nothin' he used to lie

My inspiration has run dry

That's what's going on Nothing's right I'm torn

*Try doing that on a Mambo night, and thats gonna be real crap and hilarious

DogShit Opps

I am sorry,

The main rubbish chute is under repair.

The workers are maintaining the inner walls of the chute.

Strictly no dumping to rubbish.

Opps,

I forgot and threw my Xiaobaobei's poo down the chute.

Sorry for the shits which dropped from the above.

:p

就是爱你 II

What will be will be,

There is a sudden surge of relieve.

Finally,

I can sit still infront of my notes.

At least there is no so much of unwanted " Paranoid" being,

and I am happy in this way.

Love do not need to be so burdening anymore.

I just lifted myself off load.

I wouldn't walk away and be an escapade

and I will keep it up.

because at the end of the day,

time spent together is still moments of enjoyment.

Do not be afraid of the existance of Love

because once you missed it,

it will never come back.

就是爱你

我 一直都想对你说你给我想不到的快乐

像绿洲给了沙漠说

你会永远陪着我做我的根

我翅膀 让我飞 也有回去的窝我愿意

我也可以

付出一切

也不会可惜 就在一起 看时间流逝

要记得我们相爱的方式就是爱你爱着你

有悲有喜 有你 平淡也有了意义就是爱你爱着你

甜蜜又安心 那种感觉就是你我 一直都想对你说你给我想不到的快乐

像绿洲给了沙漠说

你会永远陪着我做我的根

我翅膀 让我飞

也有回去的窝我愿意

真的愿意 付出所有

也要保护你Oh 在一起

时间继续流逝

请记得我有多么的爱你Oh 就是爱你爱着你

不弃不离开不在意

一路有多少风雨就是爱你爱着你

放在你手心

灿烂的幸福全给你

就是爱你爱着你

我都愿意就是爱你爱着你

要我们在一起

Viewing from the corner angle

It is not a hurdle to discover the commendable aspects of someone.

It is not the matter of time to determine how much you may understand the other party.

The hurdle is to accept the negative aspect that you may feel unhappy about.

Comply and magnify on the sweetest part of what you desire.

A dream shall always be a dream.

The dream of running hand in hand along the narrow pathway of Barcelona Spain will not happen in my reality.

In reality we are more likely to run after buses or train.

Even though,

I cant help but to laugh at the recent incident where we ran after the LTR where my flip flops actually came out.

The sound of laughter is from the bottom of the heart of us.

*smiles*

One shall not hold that kind of expectation to reduce the impact of disappointment.

:)

The cool seaside breeze caressing the face of a emotional mind.

In mind,

you wouldn't dare to dip your feet into the seawater,

you expect that the night is cold so does the sea water.

You walked towards and into the water and realised,

the seawater is warm.

:)

Without expectation, the outcome usually turn out to be surprises of life

Next block neighbour

It was 4am in the morning,

the usual sleepless night i had.

Such silly stuffs i did with my next block neighbour.

Signaling from our room's window with our lilted cigarettes,

when some stupid idiotic ulu muds on some eerie malay songs where he send an sms to dare me to pour water down my windows.

.Dots.

Young guys and their silly actions of thoughts

That must be weihua rolling down the hill.

haha

Pathway

The pathway we walked hand in hand.

How we got attracted to each other,

how much we miss each other when you were away for holiday in Bali.

How I paint my misses onto the white plank of assembled piano you gave me.

How happy I was when I received the message of yours.

I was on cloud 9 when you made your call back from Bali.

We shared many nights singing MMO together.

We shared many nights leaning onto each other listening to your Samsung MP3.

I had an extra sweet smile when I receive those heart warming messages from you.

I smile widely when I receive video calls from you.

I get over excited to answer a withheld call.

But

those heart warming messages stopped knocking on my mobile ever since One Wednesday night.

Probably it is just signs of aging in our relationship.

I would really like the bring us back to where we were,

how we felt great about.

But I really do not know how to.

How to make you miss me as much as how you used to be.

3:1

More than destiny

Sunset finish

Is it true that its the imperfection which makes life beautiful?

Random

Simple days

I just need a simple and ordinary love.

To feel protected,

to feel happy with the simplest things

and to know that you really care.

As days II

*smiles*

The comfortable feeling I always long to have when you are lying next to me.

We cuddle in the arms of each other feeling loved and comfortable

The familiarity which define that we belongs to each other and no one else.

As days

We connect

I bleed

But I am unwilling to let it go.

Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself

Cause my heart so much misery

I will not break the way you did,

You fell so hardI've learned the hard way

To never let it get that far

----------------

Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you,

I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you

I am afraid

-----------------

I lose my way

And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry

Because you know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake

A smile, a laugh everyday of my life

My heart can't possibly break

When it wasn't even whole to start with

---------------

Because of you

I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you I am afraid

-------------

I watched you die

I heard you cry every night in your sleep

I was so young

You should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else

You just saw your pain

And now I cry in the middle of the night

For the same damn thing

Because of youI never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of youI learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you

I try my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you

I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you

I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

Because of you

I am afraid

Dumb Ass

I labeled myself as a dumb ass when I scrolled through the past entries I had.

I find myself real pathetic and I cant help but to grin a sarcastic smile at myself.

A part of me despise myself for being such a dumb ass.

I looked through the posts i pen when he was away,

it all crashes and stung right in like acid as it corrodes away the loving and caring self of me.

I remembered posting the entry after a wonderful movie weekend with him,

to reconcile how I love him more each day.

How Socratic irony.

He had depleted and fail me.

I've emptied my love bucket to build it on for the final struggle I am going to kick on.

Whatever the outcome will turn out to be,

at least there is no room for regret as long as what myself is concern.

I've give what I can to protect and grow what we've built so far.

The choice is up to him whether if he chooses to built it on with me or to eliminate it.

The shattered

They cant be perfect anymore,

any perfections are merely acts and dishonesty.

From the past till now,

everything just reassure myself that there is no fruitful relationship.

I've tried,

hard enough with my best I can,

with the worst I can,

at the end of the day it all rounded up in disappointment.

I'll just walk on,

walking on broken glasses has become nothing unusual to myself anymore.

I may break a bitter smile as I walked on.

In fact I really do not know what am I holding on to?

I am not afraid to leave,

I am just unwilling to give up what I've built

and

I am unwilling to give up the comfort and love we shared although it is minor on your ends.

I do not want to give up on us even though I know it is not perfect anymore.

- - - - - - - -

=========

2 choices were given :

1) Stay on with my hubhubie to take a chance to see if there is any outcome surprises for us.

2) Leave the relationship and quit on men to prevent any hurting incident anymore.

I made option 1 as my choice to put it on the last bet before I affirm my conclusion to label all men as jerks.

Meaning, a male friend is either my buddy, guy pal or my client

Or else

Fuck off my life, sad to say life is that extreme.

The negative escape

I was busted once again.

It is another heart ranching incident I didn't expect to crash that soon.

It's difficult to express what kind of feelings I am facing right now,

I just weep no more.

The hurt is beyond what pain can define.

* A smile of disappointment*

The despair and disappointment feeling in relationships i guess.

It once again gave concrete evidences of how incorrigible men can be,

" How trustworthy " men are.

I do not want to even glimpse, peek or think at what might happen in the near future.

Indeed, the incident which cuts and bruised me badly just happened in merely less than 2 months ago.

What he claimed in less than 2 months ago is as useless as crumpled old newspapers on the streets.

Simply worthless.

Doubtlessly, he makes me lose faith in every single word he said.

I finally come to a conclusion that he do not mean what he said,

whatever he had said,

they are as light as goose feathers to him.

That simply shows how " committed " he is towards us.

How weightless I am to him.

* A crude smile of how pathetic this relationship is *

While I am doing what I can to manage the joy we have for the past months and to retain the laughter which belongs to just the 2 of us,

why are you the leak hole of a barely quarter filled water bucket?

Where's the responsibility and logic you claimed to have?

* Sigh,*

maybe

I am just that worthless in the heart of yours to induce yourself to create such jeopardising situation in our relationship.

Cramps was the culprit

Late night cramps are driving me crazy,

my peaceful sleep was distorted by those on and off cramps.

I couldnt even get myself out of the house to meet up with the crazy bunch at Jab,

needless to say to catch Summer up at St James.

Friday night was ruined.

Well but on the hind side of it,

i managed to organise out my revision notes for exams end of the month.

I was flipping and tossing in my bed trying hard to get some sleep.

I was missing someone badly where i was comtemplating whether to drop him a call or msg.

In the end, i dropped him a msg to send my misses over.

I should have anticipated that the reply is always superficial,

and it was.

Nothing much to expect from it as usual.

At a point of time,

the first thing that came into my mind followed by a sarcastic smile on my face.

What makes the differences of replying me and his fans.

I would rather him to not make a reply to that.

Its a sudden surge of emotion, probably owing to the unbalanced hormones in my body and I simply loathe this feeling.

Her weak knees

I really have got no idea what's happening to my knees,

they are just going weak.

Was it the tea we had last evening?

I really have got no idea why is it so.

My knees just get so tired and it seems to be fall apart anytime.

I just hope that this uncomfortable tired knees feeling go away soon.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Intoxicated

Intoxicated Wednesday with the Bitches

The ultimate chanel - Ling Nat

. . and her fetish photo taking session . .

Natalie just get so enthusiastic everytime I dont know why

lolx

My ultimate bitch Wendy the Huahua

And Thanks Sebestian for bringing my wine over :-)

Lovely tea night

Thanks my Stacy,

Its indeed a nice place to chill with healthy chinese tea.

Sengkang G

Sengkang gym on Sunday evening,

me and lovely hubhubiee,

:p enjoying every single moment with lovely hubhubiee.

Tired hubhub was sleeping on my lap during dinner.
He is just too freaking tired after his day.

The weekend fun

I had been neglecting my little private space for almost a week.

Ever since my lovely hubhub make his return from his thailand trip,

we've been spending quality time together as one and it is definately an enjoyable one.

Although during certain nights I was extremely tired but a warm lovely hug from my beloved clear all the fatigue in me.

Hubiee will give me pet names and laugh at my silly actions,

he will milks out the tiredness in me everytime with the cheeky smile which says : Yes, how can I help you.

It makes me happy just to be able to hug my hubhubiee

And when hubhubie holds me in his arms, I know I’m protected.

I view my hubhub as the sunshine and the resting cushion of my life.

I rediscovered that my love for you is increasing each and every day.

I am really glad that I found you, my hubhubiee.

Its coming a year and I've never a day gotten tired of this relationship.

Saturday movie night and arcade whopping were immerse fun.

Thank you so much my loving hubhubiee for sharing so much fun with me.

You simply colour my life

:-)

The unexpected.

I've come to believe what was told by hubbiee months ago.

Expectations always come crashing down with disappointment.

I've seen what my buddy faced and I dont think i can do anything but to driff him away from his grieve.

Well, thats just part and parcel of life you've got to face my buddy.

Although there's no wrong you've did,

you've did what you can,

and give whatever which is within your ability.

but life just sucks in a way to make you grow wiser.

I just told him something,

women are the best performer when it comes to relationship.

They can be utterly brutal if they want them to be.

But more than times, they are just being overlooked.

The best contact point is just to move on with life.

Take care my dear buddy.

My long time dear friend for the 17 years.

What's that question?

The question my hubhubie pops out with last night.
* Lols *
I certainly live-up to what I am really worth of.
It is not untrue that appearance represent a certain percentage of how others look upon you
but
the most important "scent" is,
what are you made of ?
What are you capable of.
The real Aura is beyond what appearance is made up of.

I have seen many individual parties,

common in looks yet they turn out to be immensely impressive and attractive.

I believe in the perceived value rather than the bimbo-tic appearance.

But too bad, the majority men are shallow.

Women of these days feels that they wont get less capable than what men can do.

You do not need a physical men to become a mother,

medical technology does wonders.

- - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Memo note : No one is prefect until you fall inlove with them :)

I fell inlove with you,

beyond what your appearance portrays,

I love your drive for your passion despite of the hiccups, the kind of familiarity you gave, and most importantly the kind of objectives we shared in life.

:-)

No one is perfect,

its just the matter of how you view and perceive it to be.

You do not need to be perfect to be perfect in my eyes.