Day 5

A note for the day: I think, that must be a will of determination and faith. It should be a kind of surreal feeling something very magical I guess. What does it feels like loving the someone for the coming years and may it be many decades alone :-) Its not about being silly or stupid. Because This is just one love that can never be replaced and you are staying true to it.

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I know you cant promise that you wont hurt me anymore but I know you will try your best to make me smile again one day. I believe

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I watched this video on Sexologist, I am ignorant that there are infact like some University of Sex. Not in Singapore of course. I am amazed that, assignments given to students of sexologist were practical of fucking your partner. If you dont have a partner/ meaning boyfriend/girlfriend, probably you can check on the cutest guy/ hottest girl in your course and ask if he/she could help you on your assignment. What an interesting course to be in. Then you call yourself a " Sex Guru " or probably some Dr of Sexology when you graduated in this University in Sexology.

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Went for Kayden's 1st birthday party and headed down for Sherlocks holmes with Holly. Just came home and I couldn't stop missing him. It is just one of the many nights I guess that he will haunt me through the memories he left. But I know I have to move on. All I can do is to lock up my heart, chain it up and stop thinking about it. He holds the magical key to it and I shall just wait patiently hoping that he will unlock it one day.

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. Today I miss the way I used to lie in his arms. I was thinking, if I haven questioned him so much for the answers, probably I will be able to have more time to cuddle in his arms and to hug him with so much of love for the one last time. I miss the way he snores when he is sleeping or pretending to be asleep. I miss the way he gave his thunder fart. For every kisses I gave on his forehead, it always means I've forgiven him. I just heard this somewhere, kissing on someone's forehead means he/she is forgiven.

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Time for prayers and good night. I just pray that he has a good night rest and fresh mind to focus on challenges ahead.

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Grace.