Thursday, July 9, 2009

An evening of thought

During times when I am alone, I start to ask myself alot of questions. The why, what and how. I start my inner search in serene for many events which took place in. My family, my life, my work and my love life. Pastor Koh did tell me this last year during one of our gatherings. We are born to walk nearer to death each and everyday. That is why we have to experience all the pain, love, hate, regrets . . . . till the day god decides to call us back into his arms again. For all the things I've done in the past many years, I reckon I haven been a good child nor a great person. I have tons of work undone for the 24 years of my life and I am soon to come 25 living 1/4 of my life wasted. I do not have much savings and I have yet to give mum and dad a stable living. I am just a poor and pathetic chap in thought without action. For more than 2 decades in life, it is time to make an absolute change in life weighing what is really important. Is is money? or some other things we valued more than money. I agree that money does constitute an important role in the life of everyone else. But what I really value is the time money can buy. i.e. bringing the whole family on a Caribbean cruise trip and value the happiness behind money, which is sharing precious time together as a family. Just a few days ago, someone close to me, Mr Goh WZ is encountering some huddles in life. 2 days ago, mama Goh is diagnosed with 4th stage cancer, as certify 6 months left by the doctor. The news was sudden and without signs and warning. WZ just got promoted last month, weighing on work and family, he prioritises work. Mama Goh is only in her early 50s. Our team said nothing, and just leave Zhongster with what he can give for the last 6 months. I am in the business to see ample death and illnesses, I am afraid that even though, I haven been cherishing the people I love as much as I can. At a certain point of time, I believe that I am always on the receiving ends when my parents are concern. I've left out the most beautiful things on earth. The simplest affection of love. When was the last time I massaged for my father? When was the last time I hugged my mum? I am really ashamed I have not love my dad enough. I massaged ly more than I does it for dad. Although dad always nag and scold me, I should be glad and thankful that I have a father to rely on and cherish him more than whatever it takes. To show affection of love to all who cherish me and not regret one day and look back and say sorry I have not done enough.

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