Day 31

Day 31
Saturday was extremely tiring I do not know why and I was getting pretty grouchy by late evening.
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Day 31 starts at 7am in the morning, teaching, went Prada with Stacy and Joan, followed by the meet-up with mag and we headed down to service together. Reach our reserved seat everyone was there. ^.^ abit stone, tired . . . . You will always feel doted when someone sayang you by stroking your head. My heart smile when Allen wu does that to me, like a big brother holding my hands tight to cheer me up.

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My love was there at the party at the later part of the evening, whenever I see him, my heart flutters but on day 31 it melts down with aches and some indescribable feeling. I dont have this kind of feelings last Tuesday when I met him. But why on this day 31? All of a sudden I was reminded, I forgot how to not love him. I was reminded how I used to hug him in my arms and tell him I love him. I do not know where he kept the keys to my heart and expel anyone from entering it or getting near it. I have a feeling that I will be alone, locked with him inside me this lifetime.

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I am dead tired and there is a drop in energy today,

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Saying my prayers to send my blesses with great amount of love to him, praying for his well-being and health. I am so tired.

Day 30

Day 30

Its another fulfilling day with tons of grace and faith walking with lord. I am tired and I need rest. Greater things to be accomplish tomorrow!.

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Prayers: I thank god for blessing with me with so intensive care and love which is more than enough. I emptied all my notes in my purse for offering yesterday, 80 bucks is all I have with me and leave my worries to lord, I want lord to control my finances. Today lord gave it back to me through great breakthrough, had an appointment today and my client suppose to terminate her policy with me or reduce premium with me. With great faith and believe, I am doing my best for my client, I leave the uncertainty to god and expect the best. My client didnt terminate the policy and continued her premiums, in return she took my proposal of another proposed plan. Grace.

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Tonight I pray that god is doing his miracle in my love, blessing him like how he blesses me with. I want my love to achieve great things like how he plan, I pray that Lord is walking with him every step he move, protecting him like how he protects me with. Shine positive energy on him each and everyday. I love him. Nights.

Day 29

Day 29
On this day, I know god is blessing me financially. I received a cheque from the synergy general insurance. Although its not much. But it is enough for me to give it for offering this evening during BBG later. Ciao, I'll do my update :-) Am going to the bank now!

Day 28

Day 28
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This is something I will said every morning I wake up.

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1. God I have the faith in you and I believe that you will make my day a wonderful and fulfilling one.

2. God please make me look for the positive in every situation.

3. I have no worries today because god is taking care of all my worries.

4. I know my future is blessed.

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My life has been revolving around the greatness of god's word ever since he touch my life and re-sparkle it with grace. Each and everyday of my life is filled with grace. I am certain that all my readers and friends sees a change in me. A great change for the best. It has been amazing, and you wouldn't understand how or why it happen until you experience it yourself one day.

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Therefore my dearest friends and readers who had been backsliders from christ, do stretch your hand out tonight to give a sincere and heart felt prayer to lord, a prayer not to be recite quietly from your heart but to speak it out. You will feel holy spirit tonight just like how I encounter every night when I kneel down before lord to praise him, to repent for the wrong I've did, to pray for each of my friends who encounter difficulties or illness, to pray for my browny wu, to pray for my family and to give my heart to god. Open your heart tonight and let god do miracles in your life.

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Today is the day at work where my faith has to be challenged. I went to work and started my day with a sms from my bestfriend. I wanted a meet-up with herself and her husband to propose for a plan for financial planning, but she said she has to think about it even before seeing my proposal. But I am not letting my faith down. Because I believe god has a way for me, as long as I care and give with the primary motive to help, my dear friend will know and she will feel it. She will have the ability to understand the importance of it and she will get back to me very soon.

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It was afternoon and I was working when I receive an sms from a client who says that she wants to terminate her policy. Its another challenge to come along and her premium is something substantial and it is something which is going to affect my production for my run towards MDRT. I didn't let my faith down because I know god is planning something even greater for me. Holding a pure heart to help in my line should be the way, I have to handle every concerns of my client. That is my job, I will not try my best to convince her in all ways not to terminate her policy at my own gains but I have to educate her of what will be the best for her of my professional knowledge in helping her for financial planning. The rest of the uncertainty will be lay in mighty lord. I have no worries at all, God has it all taken care of. I left office at 6pm today and headed happily off to bible study.

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I am not affected at all for what had happen today because I know I have all of god in me. I praise the lord for putting so much faith in me. I know I will achieve my MDRT THIS YEAR! I have great faith and lord will teach me how.

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Bible study is led by Eng Han today, a great Trader in the marketplace. I did some sharing with my bible study group of my encounter with god. They are impressed not for me, but the holy spirit which elevated me. Without the presence of god in me, I am nothing but a foolish pride filled egoist.

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With all the strong faith in me as I believe in mighty lord. Just 2 hours ago, I received a call for appointment tomorrow. I see it coming, I do not have to plan, I just have to do my job with utmost goodwill and sincerity. God will give it to me. Amen.

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Prayers: Thank you god for guiding me towards the good and blessing my life with so much of faith. God, please bless my love like how you blesses me with, prosper him like how you prosper me. Because I love him so much therefore I want him to be great, I want him to be blessed. I want him to be happy and lesser of worries. I just want to see him good, I do not want to expect that he will share his life with me again. I will leave it to lord as I know god will plan and gives the best for me and god will give the best for you as well if you believe. Love my browny always. The trailer is great !! Great work my love! *chuckles*

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Grace

Day 27

Day 27
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I catch up for a movie with my love on day 27. A love that god is moulding. I know god wants us to learn and grow wisdom before the day we will walk into each other's life once more. I learn it from the words of mighty father that love is not enough to sustain. Its the knowledge, faith and wisdom which sustains. I know my great lord will bring the best to me but before that, our faith is challenged. During this challenging time, I pray to god to hold strong faith within lord father and myself, I know great lord is with me all the while. Lord wants to mould me. God do not want any of his child to be weak, he wants us strong and determinate with strong faith. God wants us to be a victor, strong in will because only those with strong faith can overcome all the obstacle by the devil. And only those with strong faith and believe can enter god's kingdom. God do not want his child to give up which is why he gives pressure to test our faith.

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I have the faith and great believe in my mighty lord that he is doing great miracle in our life, a new life to re-shape both of us. When the day comes along, we will be great people, wonderful godly children with great faith, high respect, wonderfully blessed because our faith is challenged and proven. That will be the day our life combine as one under the great blessing of lord.

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Prayers: I thank god that Joze is recovered and well.

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Prayers for him: I thank god that he is showing great directions for my love in life with a dream never to give up and a path to walk on to sustain his dream. Dear lord father, I pray that you will shine on holy spirits on him and direct his path, give him the motivation, the directions and the initiative to achieve greatness in life. Take away all his uncertainty and distraction, send angels all over him to protect him from harm and stay away from luring of devil. I will hold strong faith because I truly believe lord will make him a real maximise man who is worthy for me in time to come. God wants the best for me and will give the best to you my love if you believe as much as I do. Lets jiayou together. ^.^ love you always.

Day 26

Day 26 This is to make up for yesterday.
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Today's topic is about Chan Woon Sin

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He is a malaysian, came to Singapore many years ago to study nursing. Woon Sin is a degree in nursing and no doubt he used to be a nurse. He is the SARS ICU team when he is back in TTSH, and certainly that is a tough period of time Singaporeans will always remember. He left the nursing industry after the SARS period as it is too much for him to handle emotionally.

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He joined Manulife thereafter and is a slacker in work who merely hit his contract validation in the early years. After 1 year in the industry, he is struggling with the minimal pay he has and his life hits a serious spiral. Everyone thought he is going to leave this industry. Woon sin went Missing In Action for the following 6 months.

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He stayed in his rented room and played PS3 everyday, watch the sun goes up and then down. His reccurring income couldn't substain his rental. His girlfriend paid for her rental. He started questioning himself if that is the kind of life he wants.

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Woon Sin today is a yearly Million Dollar Round Table and he is always gunning for * Yona Foo the Top of the Table MDRT every year.

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* Who is Yona Foo ? In the Insurance Industry, There is these 3 top young producers. Sadly to say, they are all Females. Anna Chua from Great Eastern, Michelle Thor from Prudential and Yona Foo from Manulife. All young and dynamic. I can safely say that each of them at least earns S$100K monthly, and these ladies are all below age 40.

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On Monday I heard that Woon Sin did his submissions and he is effectively clearing his MDRT by Feb.

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I am eager to hear more about Woon Sin over lunch tomorrow. I thank lord, God gave me faith and believe for the uncertainty, gave me wisdom and knowledge through successful people, It is so great to live under god's grace. Woon Sin told me, the genes of being successful is to be humble, and pour with an open heart, not work through talks but actions. Its the actions which makes people feel you are real and you really care for them.

Day 26

Day 26
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Just a few points before I explain it when I am free :

1. Hectic but fulfilling
2. I learn alot of Woon Sin = Who is he ? A Super Powerful being. What Daren did in the whole year, Woon Sin took 1 month and did 2 times more than Daren. Clap clap.
3. Grace and thanks to Lord
4. Tiring but Great
5. Attractive and Charismatic
6. Great to take a bus
7. God gives you opportunity at any point any where, your wont imagine what happened today
8. Her name is Alana

Prayers: God I pray for my fellow friend Joze, pls make her well soon.

For him: God please send angels to my love and give him a peaceful night rest.

Day 25

Day 25
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As usual my Sunday passes by in a swift. I didnt attend the testimony session of Eric Moo at Jurong West as I was too tied down with work, dashing around like a mad woman. Teach, office, appointments . . . . The only time I managed to sit in front of my writing desk typing this post down. I am dead tired but I am not allow to sleep yet, I have got tons of work to be accomplish by today. Have a bad bad headache but I give thank to god that my tummy is not giving me as much problem as it is. Yup, * F*ck the headache what should be done today, shall be done today. Because God told me, Say NO to distractions. I think god has been speaking alot to me. I remembered this very clearly, only take what is given to you by lord, you wouldn't ask for more, because what you receive from god is far from what you can ever imagine. I really do believe, everything is more than enough. I prayed to god that I want to achieve my Million Dollar Round Table this year under god's grace, who knows god might just give me a MDRT Court Of the Table or Top Of the Table award. Grace because I have the strong faith and believe my lord wants the best for me. Grace.

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*COT is 3X MDRT standard and TOT is 6X MDRT standard. TOT is my goal end age 28, Every TOT is at least a Millionaire in income yearly.

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Early morning meeting tomorrow, followed by an important appointment of a company case. 1st time dealing with company case and I am kind of out of nowhere. Giving thanks and grace to god that Joey will be there with me to answer questions I wouldn't be able to answer. Seriously this irritating headache is killing me, maybe too many things planning in my mind to be fulfill. Busy monday tomorrow and I shall give myself a break of 4 - 5 hours on Tuesday for a movie I wanted to catch so much and all along before I head back to office on Tuesday night for my self motivated night calling. I know, it will be a rewarding year in 2010, and God wants to see a breakthrough in me. I have joined the marketplace and this shall be the place I seed and be groom well under god's kingdom. My rewards of peace comes every single night with god's grace and I know god is planning for a great great relaxing trip for me after all my hardwork. I am glad my future is blessed and greatly plan under god mercy and grace.

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Time to get back to work with preparation of stuffs for my bright Monday no blues ^.^ Yeah !

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I won't forget my prayers for my love as usual. On day 25, I want his future and life to be as blessed as I do. I want to *pink* you ah today ^.^

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By the way people, Who wants Ikea-ing buzz me a week in advance so I can make time for it. I need new wall papers, new bedsheets, curtains, and I don't know what. Yes, my dear - my pinky cushion is from NTUC cheap and nice. Its my best company everynight now.

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I am hungry but Dr Kathleen says no milkshakes for me for a week . . . so sad, will I lose weight, I dont want to.

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* If you guys feels I am kind of too spiritual lately, I am for a good cause, you guys see me change, a change for someone better, feel happy for me, come bless me in my water baptism end of Feb, to be reborn and truely to serve and seek.

Day 24

Day 24

Applause for a wonderful day of conviction. Teaching was fun as usual and I love my new student Dravian. I was at Ooosh with Sherry, and I was contemplating whether should I head down to church as I was pretty drowsy after my medication. I know god wants me to be there to praise and worship him, to listen to his word and get enlightenment in visions. Just when I was thinking and considering this issue whether to be at church or to head home and rest, my client called me and she wants to meet me at Tampines Mall at 4pm. Instantly I knew god made his plan I have to be at church by 5pm for service. How wonderful life is, my client passed me cash for her premiums and I reached church at 5pm sharp.

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Pastor Kong gave his gospel today and gospel today is about love. He was preaching about this word love is too commonly used in current society. i.e : I love my parents, and you saying it to your dog or pet hamster, I love you so much ; in the same tone. So what is love? In Genesis 2:22 It is quoted as : Love is a sacrifices, without true love, there is no sacrifices. Till what extend are you willing to sacrifice. No doubt our parents loves us enough to sacrifice hard work and intensive amount of care on us. The amount of sacrifices is equivalent to how much you love. To show love, more than usual, we sacrifices our tired body, time, energy and tears or probably many many qualities because we love. Sacrifice is = to love.

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I have lifted myself into the arms of lord, and I know he will plan for each and everyday of my life with touch of love and miracles. God is moulding me to be strong and he taught me not to follow what our deceptive heart says but follows his words instead. Because human is born deceptive, cunning, greedy . . . . . . by nature, that is what our heart is made of. This is the reason why we are all sinners. You do not have to teach a kid how to lie, but they just know it how.

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I pray to god each and every day, and the prayers just gets longer and longer. I want to foster a stronger relationship with god because he really did touch me personally and magically. Everyday I look into the mirror and tell myself, I am going to change the person in the mirror. Stronger, wiser, quit the bad habits and be beautiful in everyway, in character and in appearance. Appearance is being shaped up by the charisma you air, and surprisingly I am gaining more and more weight, without workout and the weight is put on the correct places. In a couple of month I will shape up perfectly and I am looking forward. I believe god wants me to be the best, and I will be.

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God will mould the rightful *maximised man for me, the rightful man will be so bless to have me in his life and I know this will last forever. what a word to use, forever . . . this is the 1st time you've seen this word appearing in my bloggie.

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. Maximised man: meaning, a real man, a man of honour, integrity, truly full of respect by others, a man who is able to provide and give, a man who can lift his head high with power of command, a man who will hold my hands tight through the toughest time and never to let me face difficulties alone. Therefore, in return he will be blessed with a well-moulded new me, who will be equivalent and sacrifice as much as how he loves me because I am as honour as he does.

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I was at holland Village earlier on and I saw bumble bee again, completely in yellow with some SBXX carplate. I wonder how come there are so many bumble bees lying around? Yes, I miss him and I really do. Badly at times but when I miss him real badly, but I tell myself god is going to shape him. Shaping him up to be a better person. I am really moving on real fast in life, please keep on track. I do love him alot, may it be on blog entry day 24 or day 2400.

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There is a question for you. . . .

P/s: hubhubie said I am too weak in the past, too much of giving, and wants me to break off to be a stronger person. I am doing very well, and the day I stand up with pride and honour with my own hands and sweat, being a strong and bold true lady of goodness, are you ready to receive me?

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Well thats all for tonight. Prayers:

God, please bless Joze, send angels to her and take away the physical pain she is encountering, may god let her recover soon from her stomach flu.

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God please shine light onto the path on my love, send guidance to him, take away his uncertainty and make him vision his future like how you make me see. God you taught me how to be forgiving, care and love through this man I love. Please bless him with the power to breakthrough his glass ceiling and the determination to break away his bad habits. *** Super procrastinator *** I am pointing at you lor, dont siam. Good night my love its a long long day for me tomorrow again. Ai ni de la. ^.^

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Grace

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Day 23

Day 23

There is nothing much to write about today as it is a rest home Friday. I am on medication and had been resting for recovery. Probably something short to him, I did not love him any lesser as time goes by.

Prayers and Grace.

Day 21 - 22

Day 21

I went to work as usual in the morning, updates with appointments with Daddy Kong and headed down for my bible study in the evening with pastor and my cell group gang. I got to know more about god and is determine to get my water baptism. Had a sumptuous dinner which leaded me to a disaster. I am eager to put on more weight and I am eating 5 meals a day on top of my milkshakes. This unearthly cycle striked at 5am in the morning when I was awaken up and I started puking badly. 4 times in a row puking all over my kitchen at that god-forsaken hours everybody is asleep, I was literally puking and cleaning up my smelly pukie with sharp intensive pain in my upper tummy. After the 4 rows of puking, I cleaned up myself and struggled to bed as I have 3 up coming appointments on Thursday itself. I prayed to god to hear my cry and the pain eventually lessen. I slept all the way till 11am, woke up puking again, diarrhoea before I dragged myself to see a doctor.

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Day 22

I got Jab.

I went to see Dr Kathleen and she said I am suffering from serious food poisoning, I couldn't eat nor drink because I will throw out everything. Therefore I got a jab in my ass. The pain stopped but I will be feeling damn drowsy. I prayed to god to let my fulfil my appointment in the afternoon and I did. At least I fulfil 1 that day. I had to postpone Calvin's appointment as I am really a goner by 7pm in the evening. Went back home and I am dead after my prayers to god. I couldn't think much but to tell god that I am suffering with physical pain from over-eating, therefore I prayed to god that my love should eat well and never should he eat the wrong food. Send the angels to protect his life and give him a well-blessed life just as how god blesses me with.

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God sees you as you truly are, - a holy child of light: I see you strong and whole. I see you blessed and prospered. I see you courageous and confident. I see you capable and successful. I see you free from all limitations or bondage of any kind. I see you as the spiritually perfect being you truly are.

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Thank god for bringing me to life with righteousness, the virtue to do the right and to get away from the wrong, to do what is good for me, to love and not hate, to care with all I can. Thank and giving greatest love to lord, I am getting well real soon.

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Thanks my brothers and sister for all the care and concern with constant prayers for me. On the other hand I would like to extend my apologise to my constant dearie group stacy and company that I haven been joining you guys for activities that often. I am trying to change my lifestyle so you guys wont be seeing me in clubs with drinks nor holding a cigarette anymore. Its time for a change for rightful things and I know you guys will feel glad for me to see me do good. Because you guys are no doubt greatest friends of mine ^.^ I love you guys and for all I love, you guys will be constant in my prayers with peace and well-being.

Day 20 Part 1 + 2

Day 20

A sudden urge to cam whore and here is it.

Its getting kind of pinkish so bear with it a little .

I want a new wall with new wallpapers;
I want to go to Ikea

I want new curtains, and I want it unique.

This is one of the top I got online @ ^.^ 6.90
Cool right

My complexion looks so radiant in this picture, deceiving or my skin condition improves because of the O2 mask.

I should crop out the rubbish bin sei.


I gain few Kgs. Guess where I put on weight on?
Definitely not on my face !
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and this,
is my New found BFF ^.^, she is nice lar, and we click pretty well, maybe because I crap alot,
or something in common . . . .

lolx, thats how crap I am. How come my note seems so fake in comparison.

I should take this with flash, so the gold colour area will blink blink like what Cindy has.

I believe that I did a post on how awkward I was when I met up with Cindy, and friends of Ly many months ago due to the Mel incident. But like what I've said, I know people around me will just love me for who I am as time will judge. Because I am Seven, great, true and wonderful Seven.

I AM just the true and Lovable self.

The self who always care for people.

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Anyway

Someone told me there's this movie Daybreak, and I have to watch it not matter what, I watched the trailer and now I know why. I know why they said its MY MOVIE. Anyway no appointments yet next tuesday afternoon, who wants to watch it buzz me yeah.

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To be continue..... made up with my dad, and we are going dinner together eh.... Thank you god he hear my prayers. Its too great to live under god grace.

. I want to meet Lao lao later !!!

The continued part

I came home at 4am, miracle. . . . I am going to school tomorrow ! I received a call from my course coordinator Eileen and I am being send back to school. Can you imagine how god is blessing my life with? God is patching up with my life, and brightening up my path with grace. I really give thanks to lord. I know my life is blessed with his glory and I have no worries. Everyday I just live with god's will. My programmes tomorrow, School and then bible study. I believe and have the faith that work will come fruitful as well because I CARE. At the bottom of my heart I care for all my clients. My beloved friends. I know one day they will realise. I had a long long talk with a friend of mine. I pray that tomorrow will be a better day for him. Thank you god for giving me the grace of sharing your gospel with him. A powerful gospel which brings meaning to his life. I really hope that he search his true meaning in life, well... he is such a young fine boy. I pray that he sleeps well with peace.

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I saw bumble bee again, a total bumble bee in yellow. I miss my love, but there is nothing I can do about it. The only thing I can do about it is to pray for him and shower love and care towards him in another way. The kind of love never to be taken away and the kind of care/concern to be timeless. this is what Love is all about. Lord, please bless the man I choose to put so close to my heart each and everyday. All I want is not him to be with me but to see him happy and successful ! Love is never about possession. I dont hope that we can tie our life down together again like how we used, but lord please bless him and shine light onto his path, make his find his direction to true happiness. I just love him and it is never lesser each day. Thou I do not show, but you are always the perfect and wonderful baobei ! Love you ^.^

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Grace. Prayers.

Day 19

Day 19

Its another fulfilling day, giving thanks to god's grace. Early morning meeting, callings and followed by dinner appointment with my bestie. Its a great evening !! I met buddy Victor after dinner and we headed down for more food. lolx. Mum said that I should stop eating as sh e said that I am eating kind of too much. Somehow I just feel really happy and contented to be full. Niceee.... My collar bone cant be seen anymore and my hip bone is covered with fats. Haha... Late night shopping at NTUC 24 hours is so much of fun with Victor. I shopped for some nice looking clocks and room furnish, hot pink huggies and new pinky blankets. Oh, I suppose I am getting kind of too pinkish nowdays. Chinese New Year is coming and its time for a great new revamp with nice new stuffs ie. Curtains, Fluffies, wall papers and of course new furnitures. Victor is still a bitch ( he is the same as 12 years ago ) and we ended up shopping for facial products.He was introducing me some face oxygen mask. I just tried on it few moments ago. Its so fucking great la my pores seems tighter now and my face is as smooth as baby skin.

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Part of my humble assets.

This is the diamond bracelet handed down from my dead gong-gong I always love.

I didnt bother to spot light it.

It cost SGD12k thirty years ago.

Plus inflation etc,

probably to something equivalent currently is around maybe 30 - 40k ?

But I think diamond has got no values de. Its not gold.

It is made up of twelve 0.5 Carat solitaire cut diamonds

Therefore if ya math is normal,

its 6 Carat in total.

Nice. I will pass it down to my daughter next time if I am lucky enough to have one.

I love skeleton watches.

One day I will get my S$50,000 Frank Muller and make Frank Muller work all his life for many many generations of mine.

It will be pretty cool 40 years down the road my grandchildren Hao Lian to their friends,

My watch can buy you 1 Continential car.

This is my granny's past down Frank Muller.

40 years down the road, A Frank Muller may probably cost 4-5 folds more ?

Its a collector's item.

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Prayers and god's grace to be with me always.

. P/s: Love you always, cover well mao mao and you have to STOP watching PPS.

Day 14 - 18

Day 14

Our company Gala night,

This is my self-made clothes from a whole chunk of cloths bought from Spotlight at $10. Ribbons $1.50 , feather I stole it because I only need 1. I know its sinful but I really do not want to purchase a whole pack of stupid turkey feather in which I just needed 1.

I suppose to be Pocahontas.

I wanted to draw 2 lines across my face in fact, but I think I will look like doremon by doing that.

but Joey said I look more like Cleo-pratra.The horses for the horse betting game with from right to left,

Daren, Jeramiah, my favourite Andrew lee and Clara. I dont know where is David Seen biscult.

These are our branch top 5 producers.

Daren has 2 lines drawn across, He looks like Doraemon.

The game started and obviously Andrew lee is leading. Yeah!

Andrew still leading followed by Jeramiah.

Andrew won the race and the horses are reward with a bottle of RED BULL each.

hhahaaa.

Time to get off with my pocahontas looks and head down to 'sin city' By the way I have a walk-in wardrobe for my room. A king Size bed, balcony, and its an infinity pool 5 steps from my balcony.

Have you seen him? He is David Seen, no doubt Top producing Associate Manager and Top Financial Planner of the year.


We are very good friends, he is the one who will nag me to go canvassing with him and his gf Gina who is a manager as well.

But they canvass in Sengkang and that is one place I will like to avoid.

Thank you, I pray for your well-being, happiness, fruitful in work.

Day 15

Outdoors games which got me up 7am in the morning, yes AGAIN. Tele-match and I got my nose burned. Other than swimming in the hot sun with the 12345 and laugh at the hilarious drowning butterfly strokes daren has. My nose is peeling real badly. Came back to Singapore very rushed, got my hair straighten, drove down to Bible classes, head down to pick up a cheque from my client. I went dead flat after that.

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Super dead ! But I still pray as usual, a long prayer with faith and believe that I can do it and nothing is going to stop me. The goal to hardwork, a female millionaire by age 28, Single mother, and she is empowered to do wonders. I too pray for him to be great !

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Day 16

Its Friday, rushed down to office, submit premiums, printed quotation and headed down for my company insurance case in town. Hopefully to close a total of 12 staffs at 1 shot. I leave my worries to god because I know, by putting faith and believe in god. God will prosper my life, career and everything. I just have to believe god is so great! Headed back to office to work till 10pm before I head down to winebar, chills and reached home before 1am. I did. I was in lala land by 1.30am after my entry.

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Day 17

Its Cindy's Wedding today, I woke up early for work and thereafter the wedding dinner at Ritz. I saw ly, but the fact is I do not really know what to talk to him about. I behaved very normally as how I should be. Sub-consciously I dont even understand why, it is so natural to get things for him knowing that he is not my man anymore. In fact seeing him does turn-on some anguish side of me. It is weird that I will still ask the waiter or waitress to refill his glass whenever it is empty, get chilli padi for him. Seriously what is wrong with me? My heart contract and ache when I saw him, held my tears of course thats why I walked away the moment I saw him. But I still control it pretty well. It is difficult to smile and talk, laugh in front of him and act as nothing had ever happen while the scar in my heart is never healed.

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Had a glass of beer and Pan-pac hotel to calm myself down and I headed home after that.

Prayers.

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Day 18

Meet up with the agent after teaching, saw the shop sister and I wanted, mum said that we have to consider and we will call our agent again. But an hour later, the agent smsed sister that someone handed the deposit to take over the shop. -.-" sis and I went half sian because we really like that unit at level 3. LL, look for another ideal unit. Dishearten and sad in a way or another. Well well, but I have the faith that god has made his plans and he has another ideal unit for us coming on the way. We just have to keep out faith going, have the trust and believe that god has a great plan for us.

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I hate it when father keep rubbing salt on my sis and I. Hate it when my father nags on idiotic stuffs about my granny who did nothing wrong.

Prayers and grace.

Random

I wanted to log into my blogspot, I accidentally keyed this http://sevenbrielley.blogpsot.com/ and it lead me to a mega site of bible study. Its about prophecies and believes. I am glad I am saved under god's glory and mercy. To hand over my life and everything to him, my happiness and my worries, my joy and my never to heal heart in love. I know that life is definitely going to get better and better, because my future will be blessed with god's grace. I get to know god better each day through worships, prayers, prayers meeting, bible classes, church involvements and soon I will be attending daily morning prayers 7am in the morning. I just need to start everyday with more and more faith for a better future.
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Everything is going on so fine and I strongly believe that God is blessing my life with faith and believe every step I walk.
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Grace.

Day 13

Day 13
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I woke up through the morning call my daddy Kong gave and rushed down to woodlands. Its my APM meeting in Pulai spring. I dropped a message to my love for to bless for his well-being and left for Pulai.

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Upon reaching Pulai, we had meeting for the whole afternoon before we could finally head back to our suite. There is no time for shower and we have to kick start with our Unit meeting. Straight after unit meeting, I took a shower and headed down to Ivan's room as we have an item to perform for the stupid and hideous NOBODY DANCE. I am a facebook casualty now. Because Ms Kelly went to upload the video. That is one stupid dance we used 1 and a half hours to practice.

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The Pulai dairy

We have offically parted for 13 days, on this 13th day, I pledged to the unit that I am going to do my Million dollar round table MDRT this year with this figure 103,000 EFYC which means I have to effectively make at least 8K a month worth of commission to get my target. To gun for my MDRT I would have also clear my convention, 2 tickets to PARIS and SHANGHAI. Seriously I do not know how to do it. I will leave my worries to god as I have the faith and believe he will guide me along and send angels to touch my prospects and let them understand how important Insurance are. In the meanwhile I will do all I can to reach out to as many people as possible, doing a fine job to help them plan and protect their lives using this product people hate to hear named INSURANCE. I always feel that I am doing a great job, being thoughtful and help people to plan and protect their family. I pray to god that, in achieving my MDRT, I shouldnt be blinded by gains and selfishness. In all time I MUST have the basic care for all my clients and prospects. I should not propose to something they do not need.

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I looked up the sky above my suite across the golf course, I am surround by ample of stars. I start to miss him, missing those nights I used to look out of his window, missing those night where he twist my hair till we fell asleep in each others arms. Well . . . . . . Those are just the days.

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I am hopelessly tired. I will do my updates soon from Day 14 - 17

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Prayers time and My day starts 7am tomorrow. Its another hectic day. I am going to view my shop on Sunday. Everything goes on fine, the renovation, the stocks is on its way therefore this will start ASAP and, I will be hopelessly busy for the entire year dashing crazily for my MDRT, teach kids, attending school of theology, church service, to serve the ministry in music and of course a shop of my own. Time to shine on with my super power with god's grace. I hope grace will fall upon him as well, the person who will never leave my heart, not even a single bit.

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I came home and walked into my parents room, saw daddy hugging mummy to sleep and I smile. I wonder probably this is something I will never get in my life, not now and not even 30 years down the road. Because I know, I do not know how to fall in-love again anymore. Just a little hope, maybe a test-tube kid of my own fathered by some kind sperm donors. By the way artificial ejaculation in Singapore cost S$20,000. Never mind I will hug my kid and love him or her with all and every single drop of love I can give. Work hard today and I dont believe I cannot earn myself my 1st million.

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Short term goal 11 months to go, Hit my MDRT.

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Mid term goal, be a millionaire by age 28, get my parents to retire, pay to get my own child, and ask parents stay home look after their grandchild. Which is 30 months down the road.

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Money cannot buy love, but it is possible to buy your own kid, pay for raising one and shut the fuck off those traditional thinking from people who look down on Single mothers.

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I am abit mental I suppose, I know my readers will be thinking, who the hell out there has her goal being a single mother. * Rise up my hand * me lor. To be truthful, It is so true that to me, I would rather choose to love my own child in future than to fall in-love with men again.

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Grace.

Day 12

Day 12

It was equally hectic today. My day today starts at 9am. I had my product launch at the Rock Auditorium and the Fast Start for convention to Paris and ShangHai. I wont want to voice much on this incentive. I am just going to hit it without any excuse to fail. I just have to focus and I believe god will path me along. Have the faith and I believe.

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Headed down to spotlight to get the cloths for my costume for Annual Planning Meeting. Rushed down to Riverwalk for my prayers meeting. Another fulfilling day.

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Just a peak preview, I am viewing our own shop space on Sunday afternoon after music lessons. Coming weeks and month will be crazily busy with work, school, teach and more work. Renovations, lightings, signboard design, and alot alot of stuffs to do. Thank god for all the great blessings and you always give me more than what I can imagine. Thank god for the financial blessings you gave. I was given cash incentives again today.

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I not only thank god for what he gives me, I give thanks to lord for enlightening my life. I will be away for the following 3 days for meeting. I have great faith and believe that lord will bring me through the 3 days of meeting and let me vision a more focus goal through 2010, 2011 and many many more years to come. I believe and I have the faith.

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When I am back on Thursday I will be rushing for appointments again. My life is so fulfilling !

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Prayers: Thank god for the vision he gave during our prayers meeting. I told god to bless him, take away all his uncertainty, clear his doubts, chase away the dark clouds above him. Give him opportunity and focus like how god blesses me with. I love him, I want him to be blessed and happy even thou he do not want to share his life with me. Its ok, because I believe that god has a great plan for me. I prayed for Holly in her career advancement and I believe god will touch her personally one day. Good nights my day tomorrow starts at 7am. Love you and will always be.

Day 11

Day 11

Its so busy on Sunday, I was too busy with teaching, work plannings in office and discussions meeting. By the time I was done with work discussion I was almost half dead. I did my prayers and thank god for every single thing he blesses. I told god I was financially trapped. God did bless me financially again. I was given a pay check again on Sunday. I went off in lala land and I do not even have the energy even to on my lappy.

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Discussion of the new business venture is intense. I am involved in the marketing and back room stuffs.

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P.s: Dont worry, I didnt forget about him at all. I pray for his well-being every every day. I love him every much and I will want god bless him like how he blesses me as well.

Day 10

Day 10
Its a life transforming day 10 when I received summon that keep drilling into my heart because God speaks to us in visions and signs. We have to collapse and forgo the past in order to take a step ahead. Anyway I am doing my planning tomorrow after teaching in office. I am very sure 2010 will be a break-through. Stop the thoughts, Focus on progress, without actions and progress, thoughts are just simply wishful thinking. This is about work, actions and goal, there is nothing to do with the matter of love affair in which I have no control over it.

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Haven been seeing Genecia for awhile and she was sharing her great testimony today. Its touching and it is certainly encouraging.

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Summons and service ended in I believe I can, put it into actions. NOW !

TIme for fellowship, we are too busy with our food as usual,

Thats mag's enormous bowl of ramen at Waraku

And thats Jon's even bigger,

Jon is a comic illustrator and teaches in NAFA,

Seriously one day I will get him to draw a short comics strips of SEVEN :-)

That was GX Swing at Clark Quay,

Thanks to Allen wu, we have got our complimentary tickets

The 5 fellow who are brave enough to get it on.

I am the 1st to get excited and volunteered myself.

P.s Alan: Dont call me 七姑

We are going up for a swing

After tuckering in, we realised there is nowhere we can hold on to.

Alan look damn Gan Chiong while mag and I were chatting. The ladies seems more brave than the men.

The swing is elevating till its maximum point, and this is the most scarring part because it is moving so slowly and you are feeling the fear as you looked down..
When we reached the maximum point, someone has to unlease the trigger so all of us will freefall down. Just a little struggle and we just decided to freefall down pulling the lever with our own controlWe looks like a space ship swinging down,
the feeling is so much of a release !
The problem is we are not even screaming hard enough as like the previous group.
I just shouted : ITS MOTHER FUCKING SHIOK !
after the 1st swing down, mag and I were chatting again. Lolx. Well, girls.
Bryan video it down, I have no idea if it is going to be loaded onto facebook,
Its so funny because we are not even screaming. You can hear Bryan's voice from the back,
eh. Why are they not screaming ?

We alighted,

and Mike is leaning onto whatever thing he can lean on as usual.

Mission AccomplishedLets say Yeah again.

Prayers of the day: I thank god for such a great and fulfilling day, and I know god is blessing me financially, and I received a pay check today, although its not alot of money but I know as long as I follow the vision god gave me, listen to the words god says, God will help me to even exceed my goals more than what I can imagine just like how he directed Genecia, She hosted F1 and APEC last year. I have the Faith and I have to believe.

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God directed a very clear Vision to me. He even sent holy spirits and helping hands to unleash me. Grace to be with lord. Therefore, today I kneel down before god and pray for a clear and directive vision for the him I love. A focus, enlarging vision with a power of actions to stop all procrastinations. Like I do everyday and night, I pray for his well-being, his unaddressed soul and peace everynight.

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Grace. I learn today that Love is not to control but to care. Good night and Rest well my love, and hope shootings today is fruitful and well-going. I will always be there to back you up.

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Time to sleep my day tomorrow starts at 9am. Nights my * 臭臭 *

Day 9

Day 9
I am freaking hell tired after such a long day. Supper was at " Wan Tou Seg " Geylang just now and Bryan and cliques. I miss having those tim sum pork ribs, chicken feet at Geylang with him. Tomorrow is a long day as well. Updates to be continue. . . My day tomorrow starts at 7am.
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P/s: Love him and miss him. Prayers for smooth shoots, healthy body, good night rest with peace for him. He will be always on my mind.
Grace.
. 爱他，是, 就算每天起来会心痛，都会想要记得当出的快乐。:-)
就让一天天时间来证明吧。

Here's the updates for David Tao's concert,

We have 50 Compliementry tickets presented by our very own FLYER ENTERTAINMENT.

Mag and I before the concert

Taken from far
I like the pianist because he is so damn cool, playing 3 instruments at the same time,
Organ, keyboard and Acoustic Piano

From the Big screen, I saw Leonard stiffing and Belinda Lee screaming like mad from the 1st row.

I shook hands with this guy when we introduces ourselves,

its only today, I realised he is Roystan Tan which I didnt really even bother.

and they were speculating that if he directs our drama gang,

our service will turn out to be 881 style.

Day 8

Day 8

I think blogger is making me dumb as I don't even know how to express in speech even to the person I love of what happened. Called him, but I dont know where to start from. Those silly family disputes I had in which I've return whatever I have or own now to my dad in a hotheaded arguement 2 days ago.Seriously I really do not know how can a father look down so much on her own daughter. How can a father be so crude to list down and accused me of how much he had spent. He will complain that he spent so much of bringing me for expensive overseas trips and blah blah when in the first place I didnt even ask for this kind of luxuries. Accused me that he had spent so much money of me, learn music but seriously I pay for my own lessons all along during my poly days. I hold 2 jobs during poly days to upkeep my expenses as they are just too high. Pay for my own trips overseas etc. When I told dad that whats wrong of paying on my own for the things I want? He will get even more mad and say, grow up already, know how to answer him back. He will then shout that no one understand him everyone is going against him. -.-" How to understand him when he is such a weird old man.

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I have decided to move out of my comfort zone. I will be on my own and I just have to move on with no choice. Do not know how or when can those heartache ly left in me stop or give a pause but I believe this is the anchor point of my life, because nothing has been as painful as this is. Fan si ren le la. * That chou chou ly also * I dont know how solve this puzzle, dont know how to tell myself to not love him lei.

Then question mark question mark lor. ? / / ? / / ?.

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These 2 man in my life are my biggest problem. An old one and a young one. *shake head*

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Day 7

I am not going to bitch about how shit my life is anymore.

I love you de la, more than anyone else.

We smile together ok.

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Muacks

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P/s: I've received messages of sponsored trips lei. Someone, or a few individual friends of mine just want to bring me away. Anyway I've rejected them. More important to earn more money. Bye bye to Saltlake USA for the time being. I want to stay in Singapore. I have more important things to do nah. 1st hit my BONUS! I am getting broke very soon with the few Ks of school fees coming along. Anyway, thanks Lc to suggest bringing me away to NewZealand and Ke to States. My main concern, sorry . . I dont want to travel with them. Not keen to at all. Nights, Milkshakes and Campbell soup with wild mushroom I am so damn hungry now.

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. Erm and I miss my dreamguy Jamison. Bring me out for an extreme cool and exciting date tonight lei. After knowing what Jamison can do, the benchmark of sexuality naturally goes Whoooahhhh and multipled times more. So far, no one beats him yet. Jamison has the power to say this : Is there no one else? - To my bitches : for those who heard my exciting story in " super detail " which makes you wet. Dont envy, perfection doesnt happen in reality actually. Jamison is just friction, a friction in which I have the luxuries to it. Good night, and welcome Jamision. I must think very hard and make my sub con. work damn well. Dont call me before 12noon. I've switch to slient.

Day 6 and 7

Day 6

I was engaged for the whole day and I didnt realise that APM is freaking like next Tuesday. I need metres of brown cloth to wrap Steph, myself and Eileen up like pocahontas. I missed my meet-up with Cindy and went off to meet Arvin up for some casual dinner. Had few glasses of wine sent Arvin home and headed down to upper bukit timah road.

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Eventually Andy drove down to hush me home, bought me kinder joy surprise and a lollipop. Andy is a great and nice brother. He will scold me and hit my head to wake me up from my stupidity. I told him that I would really like to attend Cindy's Wedding but afraid to bump on ly since he is the Amcee of the wedding function. Andy drove me home and forbaded me to go out of the house.

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During early morning I still headed out of my cozy bed and headed down to ly's place although I really do not want to see him so soon. I do not know how to face him and I do not know what kind of feelings should I carry to see him again. I am nobody in his life and he dont need me at all. It seems like he've ruined my life, but on one end of me, I will still want to move on in life quietly praying at a little corner. Or maybe forget him with the help of hypnotising.

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I hate it when sunsets call because I dont want to see him either. I told him off and said that I have got nothing to do with him since very very long time ago. Nothing is going to happen anymore and I've made it so clear to him years ago. I really do not know what is his mentality and I really do not understand what makes him so persistant? I start to hate him since 2 days ago when he disturb my dream of Jamison. And somehow Jamison didnt visit me again anymore lor.

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Day 7

I just want him to be happy. I want to pray for him to be blessed with peace. I did a long prayer for him last night in tongues, I do not know how to express how I feel and what I can do. But I believe god will perform miracle to enlighten and shine on the path for us to take. He has his unspeakable inner troubles as well, I understand. But sometimes he auto-reset too fast and I just couldn't adapt.

Grace